Tuesday, February 25, 2014

You Gave That to Me

In the past two weeks I have run across some weird responses after I lose a match.

I realize that no one intentionally hurts others or intentionally says things to be mean, but sometimes things still rub me the wrong way, especially when I'm already upset at other things..

And that's unfortunate.

With all my years of experience you think I could just let these comments roll off my back.  And I'll be honest, normally I would. 

But what I'm noticing lately are these comments come at bad times for me, lol.

So, instead of letting the comments roll off my back and not upset me, instead I AM getting upset and I AM saying something to the other player to kinda of "defend" myself.

Instance One:

I'm at league and my opponent and I miss the 8 ball about 3 times each.  I finally make it but SCRATCH and she says to me, "You deliberately did that!"


I was pretty livid, I admit.  I retorted, "I didn't deliberately do that, I would never do that. Why would you say that??"

What's unfortunate is, what no one else knows, is WHY it upset me so much.  Why I LET it upset me.

It was just bad timing.

I was already upset at a several things before this first match of the night and this just topped it off, unfortunately.  But, I was so upset with the culmination of a lot of things at that point, I almost left!  I finally calmed down and realized because I was playing in a team event I needed to stay for my team no matter how upset I was personally. 

After the match, she came right up to me and apologized.  She said she never should have said that and put herself in my shoes and realized it wasn't right.

I told her that honestly it shouldn't have bothered me what she said.  I told her it really wasn't that bad.  I should never have been upset over that. 

But I explained to her I had just gotten into it with my captain, was frustrated with the league, and was trying to stay in the top 3 for top shooter.  So, it just was bad timing really.  Not her fault at all!  And I felt super bad I showed in my body language that I was upset.  I didn't want her game to be bothered because I was upset.

Further, I also told her that my character is very important to me and I wanted to apologize TO HER for getting upset.  I don't want to be that type of pool player, and I want to be a good representative of the sport.  So I felt bad.

She apologized again (and so did I).

And then we hugged.  

(yep, that's what girls do, lol!)

Instance Two:

Flash forward two weeks later and I'm playing in the Omega Tourney for the first time.  I need only one more game and my opponent needs 3.  I am playing SO good, that I get a little too confident.  I shoot the final 9ball, it goes in, but with these particular pockets, it spits back out!  I'm not worried.  I'm playing good and am the better player.

The next game I have to "come with a shot" and I am about to make the 8ball but the cueball stops it from going in and then the CUEBALL scratches!!  OMg...

Final game, I'm running out but miss a tough 8 ball.  He gets out and says, "You gave that to me."

I stood my ground, "No I didn't."

Now, I know what he's implying - I really do!  But I didn't really give it him.

Yes, I didn't win and yes I missed some shots, but it's really, really unnerving to hear "you gave that me" after you dog it!

He said again, "yes you did."

I replied, "I would never deliberately give you games or miss."  Trying to re-word it, to show how his words could be taken.

He says, "well you didn't give it to me intentionally."

I was upset because I should have won!  I outplayed my opponent, but those 3 misses were too late in the racks and too crucial.

But to say that to me after those misses just kinda rubbed salt in the wound.

Again, the timing just sucked for me.

I should never have gotten perturbed over the words.  Neither one of them meant to bother me.  And let's  face it, *I* let it bother me.  Normally it wouldn't, I just am not mentally strong right now and when I am like this, things bother me more than usual.

I hope to get stronger again ASAP!  This sucks lol.

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