The Cueist - Funk with Life/Pool and Who Helps

From The Cueist:

So, I've been in a bit of a funk lately. Not just pool-wise, but just with things going on in my life and around me. Not a depression-type funk. But, still a funk nonetheless. Coincidentally, I found myself wanting to go to the pool rooms more often. Maybe not to play, or get in action, or play a tourney. Those things are nice, sure. But I went to the pool rooms just to go hang out with friends I've made over the years. From all walks of life, ages, colors - this beautiful game that we love to play has a way of bringing people together.

I remember being younger and being in the pool room practicing 6-8 hours a day when I wasn't working. There were always 2 "old timers" there having coffee. Being that I was in my early 20's, I'd say hello, chat with them a while, then go practice. See, I love talking to these "old timers" in the pool rooms. Some of these guys have been in the pool rooms for 50 years and have seen many different things both inside the pool rooms and outside of the pool rooms. Some are veterans, some are millionaires, some are widowers, some are former top players. 

While I'm not at the "old timer" status yet, I have seen my fair share of things at the pool rooms. Been a part of many stories that I'll be able to tell years from now.  Learned life lessons in the pool rooms that apply to personal and business life. And most importantly, I've made friends from all walks of life that I enjoyed visiting with during this "funk" of mine. 

Much to my surprise, these friends of mine knew something was going on with me right off the bat. See, this is how much we've gotten to know each other over the years. And almost all of them offered great life advice. But when it came to advice on how to get out of the pool slump, they all pretty much said the same thing.....don't take pool so seriously. All of us are so competitive that sometimes it's easy to get engulfed in the pool scene and become overwhelmed. Next thing you know, you're not playing your best because of the pressure, then you get down on yourself, and then you may end up quitting the game that you loved so much. 

My point is this....while we all want to see results on the pool table after hours and hours of practice. Don't forget that time away from the pool table is just as important. Once you get past that hump in your pool game and remember why you fell in love with the game again, I guarantee that you'll be playing great again! 

And be sure to say hi to those "old timers" at the pool room next time. You might be surprised to learn a few things from them, not to mention hear great stories.

A Saturday Night Out Lessons

I was conversing with a friend of mine at the end of last year, who is also a frequent contributor to billiard magazines. We chat every so often comparing notes and sharing ideas.

 

After we discussed our most recent interactions with certain players for our respective magazines, he shared he had recently played pool (I thought he hadn't played in quite some time, so I leaned in towards the little chat window, anxious to see what he would type next.

 

"On a side note, " he started out, "I'm starting to get the Jones to play again. I actually got out on Saturday and played in a tourney. "

 

He then shared a photo of him and another player. They were holding up 20 dollar bills like a fan, lol. Then as I looked closer, I realized my colleague had more 20s than other player next to him - he placed first! My colleague is an introvert and shy (especially with photos), but I could see happiness and accomplishment on his face.

 

"Not bad for someone who has played in maybe two tourneys in the last 12 months, " he quipped.

 

"WOW! Look at you!" I gasped. I was so happy for him! Then added, "Sometimes breaks are really good for our game," not knowing I was foreshadowing his next comment.

 

He asks me, "Tell me if this makes any sense. I am a Fargo 560 and my buddy is right around 590-600, depending on the day. When I decided to go play, I didn't tell him because I knew he would come out to watch. I wanted a chance to play without feeling that I had to play up to his rating. "

 

We have all been through this right?

 

We sometimes play better in front of certain people, or sometimes play worse in front of others. Are we showing off, trying to prove something, being over confident, or on the contrary, are we afraid to be play bad in front of our friends, or feel embarrassed if we lose, etc.

 

The "clear" atmosphere allowed him to finally JUST PLAY POOL. I talk about this a lot, but that's what he did this Saturday night. He played pool! No distractions. No considering how he plays because his friend was there. Just played pool.

 

Again, mental distractions (whether we are aware or not) can keep us from just playing pool, and giving our best on every shot.

 

But wait!

 

He had more to share about his Saturday night escapade:

 

He continued, "I also told myself that contributing to a billiard magazine doesn't mean that every table is a Cosmo for me, and it's okay to have to stop and study, work out a plan, and bear down trying to make it happen. "

 

Uh, what?

 

He lost me.

 

I asked him to explain.

 

"I sometimes get the idea that since I watch a ton of top level pool to get ready to contribute to the mag, that it should be easy for me to run out on a bar box and that I shouldn't have to ever stop and study a table or shot for more than a few seconds."

 

Oh wow, what a great reminder! Sometimes we get too cocky or maybe lazy about our game. Don't get too comfortable or think you know the game enough to not study the table or take your time. Every match give it your all and don't presume you can slack off on planning or looking at options.

 

Congrat's to my colleague! (leave your buddy home more often and take your time, haha!)

 

Stay safe out there, fellow players; social distance.

It's Our 20 Year Anniversary!

Mike Howerton, the brains and workhorse behind AzBilliards.com (the premier online billiards website and the longest-running) and I were chatting today.

You may remember that I interviewed Mike back in November of 2018 (here is the link in case you didn't have a chance yet to read it). In that interview, I mentioned how he and I became friends:

You asked me to become a partner with AzBilliards in the late 90s when you noticed I created a website for my boyfriend at the time, a top pro. Not many people were online then and websites were a new thing so you and I were pioneers (and there were very few of us). Any regrets? Haha, seriously, I have enjoyed helping AzB and while I don’t help out that much anymore, I have enjoyed seeing AzB grow, and also our friendship!

And then I asked him, "Did you worry about the risks asking someone to join you?"

He replied,

"For the longest time, I was the only one who worked on AzB. On top of that, I have been a micro-manager all of my life and have always struggled to ask for help on things. So while uncomfortable at first, asking you to partner up made perfect sense. You introduced me to a number of top players back then. You have also became a great friend over the years. "

The reason I'm bringing this up today is because it's been 20 years that Mike and I have been friends and started to work on AzB together. So, it's our Anniversary!

BTW, the modern gift for the 20th anniversary is platinum. So, we expect some beautiful platinum goodies in the mail soon.

Yes, really! (lol)

Mike has been in Arizona and we've remained long distance friends from when I worked in Florida to now Texas all these years.

While we were chatting about the next issue of Billiard Buzz today, he shared: "You know I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing right now, if it wasn't for us working together many, many years ago. "

I asked him what he meant. He explained:

"AzB wouldn't have gotten to where it is without your help way back when. I tell people that the success of AzB was equal parts working without a real goal and getting lucky with the timing. But you were a big part of the success when it was becoming a success. You brought that connection to the pros that the site didn't really have. 

And you reminded me that they are all just people."

I was shocked! I had no idea about this and it really warmed my heart!  I told him sincerely, "Thank you for the compliment. We made and make a great team! 20 years now."

He replies, "Absolutely."

I've always found it interesting how companies start out. This is another example of things coming together perfectly!

To 20 more years, Mike! 

Sharing Those Shots!

I still find it incredibly adorable when my friends get so excited about shots they make at league.... that they send me a text about.  With a diagram!

Makes me smile!

What do you do to Improve?

A friend of mine, Tina, has been working on her game so much so, that her persistence has paid off.  She recently won her end of season league tournament - a first for her!

Everyone has noticed her game has gone up and her stats and finishes have also soared. So, of course that led me to wonder what she was doing to improve.  But I didn't need to ask her.  If you follow her on social media, it's evident.  She WORKS on her game, works on improving, and works on learning.

Here's my question to some of you: Are you just playing pool?

First, if you are - that's fine!

But if you want to improve, what are you doing about it?

Don't be upset with me with the harshness of this statement, but:  just showing up at league or tournaments is not enough.

Tina doesn't just show up to her 'main' league and play pool.  She also plays in two other really tough leagues. Additionally, she plays in big tournaments around the DFW area, and sometimes in big tournaments in OK and other cities across Texas. She also plays on two tours (a ladies tour and a men's tour), and further, at times plays in weekly tournaments.

It's almost like she read my blog from the past where I shared many things one can do to improve your game.  I was ADAMANT many times that in order to improve, you MUST play in many different type of tournaments (yes, some tough); you aren't going to improve by just playing in league.

But, wait there's more!

If there is a stream on over the weekend, Tina has it on and she's watching. Watching great pool and patterns helps our game immensely (I've written about this before here).

side note: as I was writing the draft of this blog post last week, I noticed Tina posted this on her FB:

Proof she watches streams!

Oh, and guess what?

Yep, there's more!

She also practices.  She will either practice at home, meet up with league-mate at the pool room and hit balls before tournaments, or sometimes even go to the pool room and hit balls by herself.

Additionally, she reads.  I know, so rare! She will get out her reminders and go over them. Or she will grab a Phil Capelle's books and read some sections.

Further, she will sit herself in the front row of tournaments and watch matches while she waits for her own match to be called! I have written before about how crucial this is. And, she is taking advantage of the "free" learning lessons by watching the great matches right in front of her. She could be sitting in the corner reading a book, or drinking with her friends at the bar, or playing video games to pass time. Instead, she's using her time wisely.

See what she's doing?  She is working on her game!  She hasn't been playing pool for a long time, but for some reason, she knew in order to improve, she needed to put in work for her pool game to improve.

I can easily admit for the first 10 years of me playing pool, that that's all I did - just play pool.  I only played on some tour stops and played on a league, and then wondered why my game never went up.

It took me years to figure out I needed to put in work and not just show up to a tournament and hope for the best.  I finally set practice goals, read, watched DVDs, wrote in my pool diary after each match, practiced diligently, and played in a ton of different events. And guess what happened? Yep, my game improved. I became more successful in my tournaments, in my standings, and started to win tournaments.

What I love about Tina's journey is she knew pretty soon out of the gate that she if she wanted her game to improve, she needed to work on it. And, so she did!

Again, if you want to improve, are you just playing pool?

Snitches Among Friends (and a Great Tip!)

I mentioned before that I sparred a few times with two friends in the spring.  It's been really fun because we get to spend quality time together not just playing pool, but we usually eat before or after, which is always nice to do with great friends.

One important part of the game I have shared with others, I consequently shared with these two ladies as we sparred.

I learned from my friend June Hagar Walter a very long time ago, don't ever tell your opponent you fouled.

She instilled in me that it's my opponent's responsibility to pay attention to the game.

Now, I'm not saying you're not supposed to fess up if you are asked, "Is that a foul?"  I'm NOT talking about lying at all! But what I am saying is, if you foul, simply walk away from the table and sit down. If your opponent asks you if you foul, you absolutely be honest and say yes.

However, she taught me to not pick up the cue ball and give it to your opponent. Nor tell your opponent that you fouled.

I'm not going to be able to truly express why this is an important part of the mental strategy of the game, but let me try. It could be because it is the opponent's responsibility to pay attention and you aren't their keeper. It could also be because it is more a 'killer instinct' kind of action. Remember on the table you are not suppose to be friends. It could also be that it might annoy your opponent, right? But it's a legal part of the game - you aren't going against any rules.

However, I fully admit to you that because I didn't get even a smidgen of the killer instinct until about 15 years into my pool journey, I picked that cue ball up or offered my blunder to my opponents all the time, lol! It was only when I got more mentally stronger and that killer instinct ramped up, that I was finally able to walk away from the table knowing I fouled without telling my opponent.

Here's the kicker: this goes completely against my grain of being a nice person!  It was actually REALLY hard to do, because I felt like it was going against my own personality and character. I am serious - it was truly difficult! I felt like I was being mean, and that's not like me. But once I figured out more about the killer instinct and to be tougher (not nice friends with my opponents), then I realized it was just part of the game.

Okay, back to my sparring friends!

I think we sparred together about four times, and so you can imagine that fouling happens often enough that it happened every session. And I would give them this June Hager Walter advice. But, they seemed to forget the advice a lot (because it was a habit) and they would always want to give me the cueball after they fouled.  I would remind them to stop doing that. Sometimes they would say, "Well we're just sparring, we're not competing, so I'm just doing it to be nice." Well, that allowed me to use the moment to remind them that even when we spar, we are to treat it like a real match. And in matches, we are not suppose to be nice!  I also reminded them they needed to get into that 'routine' / 'habit' (just like I had to) - so even when they're practicing or having fun, don't go out of their way to tell their opponent they fouled.

I know it was difficult for them, as they are two of the sweetest people you will ever meet, and so it goes against their grain to not just tell their opponent they fouled, also. I get it, I really do! But I wanted to remind them (when it came up) that this is a great tool to have in their toolbox because it IS a mental toughness and strategy thing.

Eventually, towards the last of our sparring sessions, if one of them fouled and almost grabbed the cue ball, the other one would kind of pick on them because that's what they weren't supposed to do. And they knew that I would get on to them, lol. It became really funny!

So imagine my surprise when in May I was having dinner with one of the ladies.  And she snitched on the other one!

Their teams were playing league against each other one night, and in their own match, the other friend fouled, picked up the cue ball, and gave it to her. And my friend, eating dinner with me, sharing this story, was almost like an older sister who snitched on the bad behavior to her mother! She couldn't wait to tell me our friend did that LOL!

My friends are so cute!

Happy For Friends Games Maturing

This past weekend was a nice treat for those who love to watch women's pool. RackemTV, a live streaming company out of the Dallas area, streamed throughout the Jerry Olivier's Ladies Tour stop at JR Pockets in Denton, Texas.

I played at JR Pockets several years via the Omega Tour, so it was nice to see a familiar place in the background. And one of my favorite commentators was helping call plays (Billy Guy who I wrote about before), so that was an added bonus as well. When RackemTV was streaming the DFW 9Ball Tour last month from JR Pockets, Billy was not the commentator and boy was he missed!

Anyway, the reason for writing this morning is to share how happy and proud I was to see some friends play who have not just kept their game up, who have not just improved, but that their game has a maturity to it that we all hope for in our friends game!

I can't begin to put into words how happy my heart was to see some of my friends who have been playing well for years, who now play not just better, but with confidence, poise, and improved knowledge. They not only played well, they shot damn good - their games have really matured! They didn't take shots for granted, they stayed in each match whether up or down, and their mechanics were spot-on. It was such a joy to see shot after shot these few friends who I have always loved and admired their game and talent, but to see them play even more successful because of their solid mechanics, gained experience, and comfortable confidence.

I can't really put down in words what I mean.  I guess I am trying to say after years of watching them play and improve, it was nice to see their games elevated to such a level of maturity that no longer showed weak fundamentals, bad shots, or poor choices, if that makes sense. Every shot mattered, every pre-shot-routine was important and solid, and every decision was smart and confident. It was such a joy to witness!!

Awww, growing up is so much fun seeing in others!

A Perspective: Singles Finals in Vegas

A friend of mine finished an impressive 2nd place in the BCAPL National singles event last year. It was the highest national singles title he's ever come close to!  He has had several big wins here and there throughout the last 10 years or so, but none on the national singles stage.

He has put in the time and he was due for sure - we were all very proud of him!

He shared with me his tournament experience because we used to share these type of things many, many years ago. Plus, he knows I LOVE hearing these type of stories :)

He told me, "So I was reading your blog, and it made me reflect on pool in general and I think you'd be the person that could relate to it the most." And he was right! Trust me when I say I could blog about five topics just from these few paragraphs, lol. A lot of great insight he shares.

He's a very funny guy and I actually call him my "Favorite Mexican," but then that makes my other friends jealous, lol. I have written about his Mom before in my blog: here.

I would never even begin to adequately be able to describe what he did, so I'm going to simply copy/paste his words so you can experience for yourself this amazing, unforgettable time in his life. You will enjoy this, I promise!

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I've never been able to put myself in a position to play in the finals of the nationals in singles, and I got super nervous when I was playing in the semi-finals match. I walked around the table trying to calm down, took deep breaths, did my PSR [pre shot routine], and just made sure to stay down on every, single, shot until the 8ball dropped.

So now, I'm super excited I'm in the finals, I damn near wanted to cry. LOL. I called my wife, then walked to the bar. I knew I had to calm down from the excitement, and figured a drink would help (mental right?). So I get to the tv arena, and I hit a few balls. Those tables were super fast and rails really bouncy. I was overrunning everything during warm up. Up until that point, I made it a point to not look up. Just wanted to focus on my table, and that's it. Well, there was a slight delay in the start of the match, and then I looked up. Ugh! Just about everybody that was there in the building from Dallas, was in the stands! Then I looked over to the table next to ours, and see two top players playing, Jesus Atencio vs Omar Alshaheen. 

At that exact moment, I got a text from my friend Alex. In '09 when I got 3rd at the state tourney, Alex was texting me and calling me, telling me to have fun in every match towards the end of the event. It really helped! Well, the text that I got from him was something similar. 

Since we hadn't started yet, I stood up, took a deep breath, then turned to look at the crowd. I took it all in, and decided to enjoy the moment. I mean, who knows if I'll ever be in that spot again. 

The nerves instantly went away. It was weird. I felt a sense of calmness just before my opponent walked back up to the table. It was just a matter of tapping into the mental calmness for a bit. Of course, we all know how the finals went, LOL [he lost :( ]. But afterwards, I didn't feel any kind of regret or sadness. I just felt great to be able to play in the finals of that event, which had been my goal since stepping foot in the BCA league.

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What is your favorite part of the story?  Mine is pretty easy:  "I stood up, took a deep breath, then turned to look at the crowd. I took it all in, and decided to enjoy the moment."

I just loved that whole sentence - it truly captured everything we all wish and hope for to feel some day in our own pool journey!

Congrat's to my Favorite Mexican! err, I mean, Juan!  SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU!

Special 10-Ball Helmet

This is my little friend Ezekiel! (Zeke for short):

Ezekiel is the beautiful boy of Nicole and Joseph, who was born Jan 10, 2018. 

I asked Joseph about Zeke's cool 10-ball helmet.  No, no, he's not getting ready to ride his bike into the sunset with a new girlfriend, haha!

Joseph shared that basically nowadays they recommend babies sleep on their back.  At 3 months, they noticed the back of Zeke's head was really flat.  They moved him from rocker to basinet and from 3 to 6 months, no matter what they did, he would always sleep on his left side.  Joseph shared, "Move him, he would move back. lol"

The result was a flat head on the back and left side, and they also noticed his ears were uneven "by a lot."  Zeke was diagnosed with Plagiocephaly.  It's actually a very common problem, and some fix on their own, some do not.  Nicole and Joseph decided (rather than hoping it would correct itself), and "knowing how mean kids are, we didn't want him getting teased about his head shape," to look into options.

So, they got 3D images and a custom DOC band made.

For those like me who don't have kids nor around kids:

"The DOC Band is the only custom cranial helmet with nearly 35 years of documented outcomes. It’s been used to safely and successfully treat more than 175,000 babies with moderate to severe plagiocephaly.  Each DOC Band is custom made using our state-of-the-art technology and one-of-a-kind manufacturing process to ensure it delivers the best possible outcome for your baby."

He will wear his helmet 4 to 6 months, 23 hours a day.  And Zeke will have head band adjustments done every 2 weeks to evaluate his progress.

Then one day they were eating out for Nicole's birthday dinner and having an awesome conversation about billiards with their server.  Turned out their server (Brandon) also loves pool and Joseph shared information about the tournament scene in and around Houston during their dinner.  Joseph used to play on the Omega Tour here in Dallas / Fort Worth and he's still on the pool scene down in Houston and many other places when he travels.

Joseph and Brandon would soon become friends on Facebook and that's when Brandon also started to ask questions about the DOC band.  Then he asked if he could decorate it, as he is an artist.  Because it has to be worn 23 hours a day, doing awesome detailed art work was not an option, but Nicole and Joseph had already agreed what they wanted.  Because he is a pooloholic and Zeke was born on Jan 10th, "Logically a 10-ball was the design we wanted."

Well, logically to us pool players, right?!  :)

Turns out Brandon's family runs a sign and wrap company, so he hooked them up!  They got two decals created based off dimensions, and when the decals were ready, Brandon went over to do the install.

"With a blow dryer, a lot of patience, and business cards, we installed it together which was a really cool experience."

And they still have the other decal if this one gets too messed up.

"Brandon offered to do it for us, no charge, just looking forward to having a friend he can shoot pool with.  I believe everything happens for a reason, and divine meetings like this take place all the time."

Rather than spend hundreds of dollars to get it done at a place elsewhere, they had a chance meeting, talked about billiards, became friends, which set in motion for how Ezekiel got his 10 ball design.  "And Nicole and I gained a friend that likes billiards."

You can see in the photo above Zeke already likes billiards!  And, he watches tournaments streamed all the time with Dad, too.

Here is Zeke and his parents:

Thank you for sharing your story, Zeke, Nicole, Joseph, and Brandon!

Doubles with Dave

I had another big smile moment last night.

I met with a VERY dear friend of mine for dinner.  She is moving out of state in a few weeks and so we met up to catch up and say our "temporary" goodbyes.  I plan to visit her in the coming years and walk in the Ozarks with her!

She is one of these women in life that we judge before we know them.  She was tough to play because she was so intimidating and I because incorrectly assumed sometimes rude.  What I would find out was she was raised in a tough world, which made her a menace around the pool table.  What I didn't know 10 years ago was this tough gal had a heart of gold and a love for life that most of us can only hope for.

She is one of those people that once we get to know the real them, they turn out to be a gem in the world and we find we are lucky if we get to be a part of their life.  She has made a huge impact to me personally and even though I don't see her that much, she still has a part of my heart.

She has lived in the area (Dallas-Fort Worth) for over 30 years.  And she mentioned last night that my friend Dave Faver and her used to play scotch doubles together about 20 or 25 years ago!  I just smiled and smiled :)  I love that so many people are still sharing stories about Dave with me.  Warms my heart.

League and Fun and Friends

A friend of mine recently hadn't been playing league.  Either due to choice of not playing on certain leagues anymore, and/or because another one of her leagues was in between sessions.  So, she just wasn't playing league right now.

Well, one of her friends convinced her to play on their team.

And what she found was - she REALLY needed the time with friends and time away from the "real world" for awhile.

I think a lot of people look at league as something they have to do - their team needs you or you need to put in weeks to qualify for State or Nationals or the team is short and you have to play (no matter what!).

But league becomes more fun when you can play on your terms.  

And my friend actually needed a break.  She wondered at first, "Do I even have time to go to league tonight?  I have so much to do."  But what she found was she enjoyed the break, enjoyed playing the game she loves, and enjoyed being around her friends.

When league because a "I have to go" (for whatever the reason) to "I am just going to go play," it becomes fun again!

So happy she said "yes" to the new team.  :)

Rude Players Create a Stigma

Competition can really bring out the worst in us sometimes.  Right?

But what's interesting is, it's not who we are away from the table.

Take John McEnroe as an example.  He LOSES it on the court.  Yet when he commentates, you can tell he's not emotional and mad all the time, lol.

Here's the thing about competing.  If we are an extrovert and we wear our feelings on our sleeves, we may be a sore loser when we lose.  We may quip as we limply shake your hand, "I'd say nice game, but you only got lucky."

Ouch!

However, if we are an introvert that keeps our feelings inside, we would shake our oppoents' hand when we lose and bite our tongue.  We may vent to a friend, blog about it on the internet, lol, but we wont make a crappy, uncalled for comment to our opponent.

Here's another situation - many players learn or figure out eventually to not act that way (rude).  I know numerous players who used to act crappy after they lost, and now they are cordial.  Sometimes it's takes great self-reflection, control and learning to stop that "habit."

But this leads to an interesting point I'd like to share.

Because again, many people who spout off, are rude, or make crappy comments, they aren't that way all the time.  Competing brings that out.  Their emotions of losing, the sting of the loss, the bite of feeling embarassed - THOSE are the things that causes most of the rude comments to come from our mouths lol.

However, what this does is it is causes an unfortunate observation from people who don't know them personally.  And then they get a vison in their head, "Wow, that girl was a bitch and rude."  And then we immediately don't like them.

This is normal.

But what you pleasantly find out when you get to know them away from the table is how great they actually are!  Almost 95% of the players I thought were rude and obnoxious, were actually really great people.  Sure, there are 5% of the players who really are rude assholes and bully's.  But 95% of them are really cool, dependable, nice, people!

So, while it's normal to judge someone on how they react after they lose.  What is more surprising is when you get to know them and they become your friends.

Many of the rude players happen to be top players, right?  Not all, obviously, but many of them play good.  So when I joined their team or I formed teams (because we want the best teams, right?), that's when I learned most of the "rude" players were actually great people!  Many even became good friends.

Don't get me wrong - I'd still not like to compete against any of them because of their attitude on the table lol.  But if you get a chance to maybe have dinner and get to know those 95%, it actually becomes a surprising blessing.

The Feel of Family at Certain Pool Rooms

Sometimes we have no idea what people go through and how tough things are.  I think a lot of people (including myself) haven't truly sat down and thought about some of the things some players go through or are having to deal with when they are playing/gambling.

I recently interviewed someone for Billiard Buzz (for the March edition) and to read about how he tries to handle the pain in his only leg for as long as he can, makes you wince.  Knowing some people might be dealing with cancer and still trying to play (like I wrote about recently) or maybe struggling to keep their emotions in-check while they are going through a bad breakup or recent death.

We really don't know what people are going through sometimes and trying to deal with all that while trying to play the game they love??  How do players focus and play their best with so many life distractions?  Crazy.

One of my friends who gambles all the time prefers to only play at a certain pool room.  He brings his loving wife along and she loves to watch him play and she is his biggest fan. 

I've actually never even seen him play unless she's around.  What's interesting about this is his wife has Huntington's Disease (HD).  What is HD?  Well, HD is a brutal genetic disorder that causes the progressive breakdown of nerve cells in the brain. It deteriorates a person’s physical and mental abilities during their prime working years and has no cure. This means her body is failing and her movements aren't smooth. The best way to describe what it looks like is a person with HD can't really walk straight or talk normal.  However, if you know him and you know her you don't think anything about it.  They are two great people in love who are great friends to many of us.

He constantly professes on Facebook, "I'll play you at my home pool room." And he will play just about anyone.  The only catch is, you gotta go to him.  So, being the nosey person I am, I asked him why he only likes to play pool at that certain pool room.  But, I already knew the answer. I knew he was going to say it was a certain table he liked to gamble on or the smoking wasn't as bad there or that it was close to his house.  But the reason was actually really shocking to me.  I had no idea.  And I don't think many people have any idea.

He shared with me at this certain pool room he goes to most often, everyone there (patrons and people who work there), treat him and his wife as family.  He said, "They know us and they care about her.  It feels like family." 

And because his wife has HD, that's more important than I can even put into words in this blog.  While he's gambling, she can sometimes spill a drink or drop a cigarette.  His and her friends (the patrons and workers) will help her if something comes up he happens not to see first.  He is the one who normally helps her right away, but sometimes he might be down on a shot or someone might be in his line of sight of her when he's playing, and he may not see something as fast as someone else who is closer by. 

Other times, his wife is in the bathroom too long and he would need to find someone to go check on her.  At this pool room, when she's MIA for too long, the waitresses and female bartenders check on her even before he asks them to.  Everyone there cares for him and his wife and because of that, THAT's the reason he plays out of that pool room most often.  And that's also why there's an open invitation for anyone to come to him to gamble - because it's not comfortable for him and his wife at other places.

When he goes to other pool rooms, the caring atmosphere isn't there because they don't know them well. 

At other pool rooms (don't get upset, peeps), drunk people will actually make fun of her (thinking she's really drunk) or no one helps her right away if she needs help.  As you can imagine, anyone who makes fun of his wife is quite a distraction and it also hurts her feelings deeply. 

If you don't know either one of them, one does wonder what's going on with his wife. That is natural, right?  But sometimes people don't ask, and instead assume.  And sometimes these assumptions are rude and occur when the husband is trying to concentrate and gamble.

So, in order to be in a more peaceful, calm and caring atmosphere among good friends, he goes to this certain pool room where they both feel most comfortable and cared for.

I don't know why I'm so surprised, as I thought humans had more decency and were kinder to others.  But I guess when you get around a bunch of drunk young friends, people aren't thinking clearly and say stupid things not realizing the situation.  I know no one is deliberately mean, but sometimes hurtful, rude things are said.  And in the home room they go to, NO ONE would tolerate anyone treating her badly or making fun of her.  The friends would jump in before the husband could lol!

So I was completely wrong.  It's not the comfort of the atmosphere, the comfort of the pool table, or the closeness to home.  Not at all.  THE reason is because he and his wife are treated like family.  And that provides a sense of relief, support, and comfort for them.  Let's be honest.  He's already distracted and always on the look out to see if she's doing okay or needs anything.  But to be able to be in a setting where people help him by watching out for her, that allows him to be able to focus a little bit better knowing there are good, thoughtful people around that cherish her.

Topics Change as We Grow Up

I found it pretty comical when I was sitting with my girlfriends at the Oklahoma tournament, catching up and gabbing.  The reason I found it funny was because our topics were so different from when I first starting playing pool some 25 years ago.  

In my 20s, the girls would sit around and talk about the normal things at that age.  Maybe what makeup we like best, stupid drama shit, cute clothes, boys we liked, etc.

Fast forward 25 years and instead of finding out where you bought the cute shirt, now we talk about how much we saved buying the shirt.  Instead of sharing how bad our cramps are, we are sharing who is going through menopause already, lol.  Instead of wondering if the cute boy likes us, we're figuring out ways to like our self.  Instead of makeup tips to look make us better, we're talking about makeup tricks to help our wrinkles, lol.

I do love the more mature conversations for sure, and also because many of the more insightful convos lead to helpful tips swapping from one woman to another.

Ahhh, from girls to woman.

RIP Lucille Donahue

One of my dear friends and mentor passed away in late December - Lucille Donahue.  I can't begin to express how impactful this woman was to me.  Not even remotely begin to express it.

I found an interview conducted by author Carl Miller of Lucille during one of the Ladies Tour stops in 2007.  (back then, the Ladies Tour was the "Hunter Classics Tour").

I'm going to paste his interview right here, so you can find out more about Lucille.  She was an amazing woman full of life and such a contagious, positive attitude.  And a laugh so joyful... you would never forget!

RIP my Dear Friend.

LUCILLE DONAHUE

No Rocking Chair for this Grandmother

The one-hour drive up the freeway from Galveston Bay to North Houston is tiring on this early Saturday morning, but Lucille Donahue perks up the moment she steps through the front door at Bogies Billiards and Games.  For the past two years, a severe lung infection has limited Lucille’s appearances on the Hunter Classics Amateur Women’s Tour.  Now, as she joins the other board members and players at the registration table, she enjoys the familiar banter.  She’s back in her element, appreciative of the recent improvement in her health and excited by the opportunity to play in another pool tournament.   

Concurrent with this stop on the Hunter Classics Tour, Bogies is hosting a benefit for Anne Mayes, a Hunter Classics Tour member and respected custom cue maker.  Anne is battling cancer.  Throughout the weekend, WPBA touring professional, Kim White, will conduct a benefit in Anne’s behalf, which will include an hourly raffle.  Lucille asks for roll of raffle tickets, and within minutes of her arrival, she’s sold $100 worth. 

Fellow Hunter board member Melinda Bailey says with a smile, “The Hunter Classics Tour is alive because of Lucille.  She’s the nucleus.”

 

Lucille arrived on the competitive pool scene relatively late in life, and by unusual circumstance.  She was in her late forties, and owner of a real estate company, when one evening she agreed to meet a broker at a bar he frequented.  Lucille had never played pool, but as their business meeting concluded, a mixed-doubles tournament was about to begin.  Lucille got talked into playing, and before the evening was over, she discovered she had a natural talent and an affinity for the game. 

Later that year, two local players, Barney Garza and Ole Olsen, invited Lucille to accompany them to a professional tournament at Top Cats Billiards in San Marcos, Texas.  The field of Texas women professionals included: Vivian Villarreal (“The Texas Tornado”), Belinda Calhoun (“The Texas Belle”), etc.  The skills of these women both impressed and inspired Lucille, and she became hooked on the game and the lore. 

Lucille joined the Hunter Classics Amateur Women’s Tour twelve years ago, and for the past eight years she’s served as a board member.  She’s proud to be involved with the largest and longest-running regional women’s tour.  As a board member, her personal goal is to continue to attract talented women players, so the Hunter Classics Tour will not only remain strong, but continue to grow.

During the twenty years that Lucille has now played pool, she’s also been a member of several league teams that have competed throughout the Galveston Bay Area.  She particularly enjoys playing in the annual BCA National 9-Ball Championships in Las Vegas.  Making Las Vegas even more inviting is the fact that her daughter, Linda, and granddaughter, Allie Rae, live there.  Her other daughter, Lori, and grandsons, Trevor and Keaton, live in the Galveston Bay Area.  When not playing pool, Lucille often turns to her other favorite bay area pastime: fishing.

Despite her late introduction to competitive pool, and never having taken lessons, Lucille has developed a respected game.  Early on, she was just a shot maker, but as she gained in experience, she added defensive skills.  She admits, though, “I don’t practice as much as I should.  Mainly, I’ve just learned from playing.”

As the Saturday afternoon at Bogies progresses, Lucille loses her first match, then wins a match, but then loses again and is eliminated from the championship tournament.  However, since health problems have limited her appearances during the past two years, she’s pleased with her performance, particularly at having won three games in the match she lost to perennial Hunter champion, Leslie Anne Rogers.

On Sunday, as the tournament winds down, Kim White announces that raffles, auctions, and a Saturday night open tournament have raised nearly $5,000 for Anne Mayes.  No one is more pleased than Lucille and the other members of the Hunter Classics Tour.

Despite losing her two matches in the second-chance tournament, Lucille remains as enthusiastic as ever.  “I miss it a lot when I can’t play,” she says, “but life sometimes throws curves.  I love pool, and it’s such a pleasure to be part of the Hunter Classics Tour and to be associated with all these talented young women.”

The next Hunter Classics Tour stop will be at Legend’s Billiards in the Galveston Bay Area.  Lucille plans to play in that event.  Billy, her husband of 48 years, and their grandsons will be among the fans watching.

What I'll Miss Most

There were many special things that happened personally for me over the course of running the Omega Tour for almost 6 full years that I am honored and blessed to have happened. 

Let's look at some remarkable parts of running the tour in detail that I cherished and will miss:

PLAYERS BECOMING FRIENDS:  New friendships, even some love interests, happened because of running the Tour.  And not to mention all the cool players I met who either I learned a lot from (about pool or personal things) and also who ended up being genuine good friends.  Had I not run the tour, I wouldn't have met all these wonderful people who are now a part of my life and for that I will be forever grateful. 

RESOURCES:  One of the cool benefits were the contacts I gained.  As I mentioned in a previous blog post, having access to so many different types of people allows one to find trusted resources of expertise we may need.  Like I now have a roofer, a friend who works on cars, a friend who helps me with house improvements, people who will lend a hand if needed when friends are sick, etc.

GAME IMPROVED:  The other thing that of course happened was my game skyrocketed because I watched so many talented players compete for 2 full days at a time for 8 to 12 times a year.  That's A LOT of learning that not many people get to witness!  I admit completely that part of my winning run for a few years was because I was able to watch patterns of the top players and also see how well they stay down with smooth strokes.  You watch great pool like that so often and so much, you gain such incredible knowledge that helps propel your game.  And I was lucky to be on the receiving end of that.

LEADERSHIP:  And another thing I truly loved was all the leadership I gained.  Talking at times to all the sponsors allowed me to learn a lot of the ins and outs of a business and why decisions were better than others.  Further, a lot of leadership opportunities also arose by running the tour when I interacted with the players.  There's a lot more to just running a tournament and going through the motions, it's also about personalities, and how to handle conflict, and dealing with issues professionally.  Huge opportunity and experience for leadership.

FRIENDSHIP:  The thing I'll miss most is talking with friends and getting to know them.  Even a few friends would come to visit me at the tournaments on Sundays, and we spent hours chatting and catching up.  We have decided to continue that in other arenas (away from smoke and pool rooms).  Further, all the players who helped me run the tour became really good friends and I will miss them.  Heather, Ginger, Jeff Georges, Dana, Duane, and Kara.  Even my bestie Amanda and I only really saw each other at the tourneys.  But I gained valuable friendships in all these people and I will miss hearing their advice, learning more about them, and enjoying conversations.  It's not to say I'll never see or talk to them, but the Omega was the Perfect Storm for all that conversing to take place.  And of course hosting birthday celebrations for friends who I normally wouldn't see was a pretty cool side benefit of running the Tour.

And no... none of this changes my mind about my decision to get away from the pool room.  But, many have asked me what I'll miss from not running the Omega Tour anymore, so wanted to share.

But, the distance wont stop me from still having great connections with friends!

Pool Family

One thing that is really cool about playing pool is how the pool community is really family.

I love it how when a player is in need, the pool family comes to the rescue.  I've seen raffles to raise money for players in the hospital, pool tournaments put on to raise money for players who need help (houses burned down, tornado damage, health issues, etc), and even donations simply for players who need assistance with a crisis.

The other part of the pool family aspect I appreciate is when we need help with industry or service-type things, the pool world is there for us.

Sure, there are some bad apples, but there are also a lot of good, decent pool players who own their own business or have a specialty that can help when we need expert advice or things fixed that we may not be able to do on our own.

Here are just a few examples:

• My roof was damaged by hail from severe storms last Spring and was re-done by a pool player who owns his own roofing company.
• I had some issues with several areas in my house that needed the expertise of an electrician.  I called one of my league friends who does that type of work and he came over and resolved the electrical concerns.
• I recently had some rain damage to my back door and found out one of the players on the tour works for a home inspection company and he was able to come over and inspect the areas that were damaged (saved me a lot of money). 
• One of my friends was in a car accident and was hit by a semi truck.  I overheard him getting advice from a guy who drives semi trucks for a living.
• Another pool player friend needed help with their fence and sprinkler system and one of the guys on the tour owns their own fence and sprinkler company and was able to help them out.
• Another pool player works for an A/C company and he's been able to make side money by helping some of the players with the broken A/C systems.
• Several pool players also own their own plumbing company and have been able to save many friends in time of need (saving time and money).
• And not just physical things, but emotional support, as well:  Sometimes pool players become great friends who introduce us to faith or provide us help/resources with addiction.  

The list goes on and on.  

I think it's actually really cool to be able to have a group of friends (pool family) that can help us in many areas of our lives.  Instead of flipping through the yellow pages (or asking Siri or Google), we prolly know many experts already among the pool community.

Pretty awesome pool family we have when we can depend on them for help, support, and comfort in times of need.

Personalized Towel

A friend of mine made a personalized pool towel.

She showed us all on Facebook her materials before she started:

Then she showed us her masterpiece:

I pointed out to her that she bettr be careful, as players will start making requests!  It was super cool!

And then she texts me this surprise:

She made me a blue M!  Omgoodness, I couldn't believe it!  And I loooooove it :)

Thank you, T!

Adding Good Players to a Team

I have learned through the years that adding good players to a team isn't always best for everyone on the team.

I was on a league team in San Antonio and a few guys needed to join a team to get qualified, I think for BCA State.  They were TOP players.  I was super excited for them to join our team!  I would find out later that some of my teammates didn't like them on the team, though, because they didn't get to play as much anymore - the guys needed to get six weeks in and had to play every night.  That left the regular members out of playing as often for the rest of the season.  A couple of friends were REALLY upset with me.  I was too young and immature to know that saying Yes to those guys affected the team dynamics overall and badly hurt some feelings.

Fast forward about 20 years later, and the same thing kinda happened.

A few years ago I was asked to join a women's league team and I said yes.  I didn't think too much about it really, until at the end of the season, one of the original players had decided to leave the team!  I was in shock and perplexed.  But when I really thought about it later on, she didn't get to play as much anymore.  I'm sure she was frustrated with the whole thing - playing on the team at state was based on how one finished in the season, yet she didn't get to play every night like before and so her record went down and the Captain decided not to play her as much at State.

If you look at the quote above, she did not understand, she didn't respect the team anymore, and she definitely wasn't having fun,

While it may seem wonderful to most team members when a good player joins the team, we must also think about the players who love the game but maybe aren't top level.  Some league players see league night as a social night, not a "win" night.  So, in reality, those players are getting the short end of the stick - not being able to play as often on leagues nights and not being able to be a part of the team in big team tourneys.

I will add that she joined another team and was MUCH happier!  She was able to play every round every league night, and also was able to play every round in state tournaments.

But the relationship of some friendships were definitely damaged.

There is no I in Team

How many times have we heard that?  "There is no I in team?"

Well, I was reminded of that when a friend invited me to go to Vegas with her this year.  She has never been to Vegas, I have been a 1,000 times, and I was super excited that I could show her around!

While I got all pumped about it (even looked at flights and hotel prices), of all that I could show her (MGM volcano, Bellagio water show, certain card games, great places to eat/shop, fab buffets, beautiful statues, exhibitions, roller coasters, etc), I slowly started to draw back my excitement.....

You see.... she was invited to go to Vegas to be on a Women's Team for a National tournament.  It would be her first time with the team, the first time in Vegas, and also the first time in a National event.

And, I needed to not be selfish.

Although I wanted to go with her and show her around and also support her while she plays, I also know that what is MORE important is that she gets some good bonding with her team.

Team atmosphere, team dynamics, and team trust and comfort are all crucial for success.  The way to get all of that is with bonding; ie. doing things together and creating bonds.

If I am there, I would steal her away from anything pool-related, which really means even simple things like eating with teammates.  And in reality, she NEEDS to do that.  She needs to bond with them, get to know them better, have amazing laughs, and making memories with the team she will be helping to win!  She doesn't need me to distract her from pool just because we are in Vegas.

Even simple things like walking together as a team in their matching shirts to the tournament room is bonding.

I don't want to interfere with that.

There is no I in Team, Melinda!