Wednesday, June 22, 2011

It Does't Matter How I Feel

I'm learning the hard way no matter how good I feel about my game, it simply doesn't matter.

I feel so good about my game right now, it's not even funny.  I love the feeling!  I know I'm playing well, I'm staying down well, enjoying playing, etc.. I have no confidence issues right now about my game and am only feeling pure happiness how well my fundamentals are right now.  I feel I can win a tournament soon, that's how confident I am about my game right now.  But... it's not showing up on the table for some reason.

I played in a tourney Friday night and I was the top player of the only 6 women who were in it.  Was I a little cocky knowing I was the best player?  Sure.  Was my ego inflated?  Sure. 

I was "new in town" again and so eyes were watching me, but I didn't mind.  However, I did think about that a few times when I was down on some shots (obviously not a good thing). 

The last time I played this tourney I won it.  I was stoked to finally win a tourney I was "suppose" to win.  This night?  I didn't come through.  This night?  It didn't matter how good I felt; I didn't play as good as I felt about my game.


Guess what?

It's very frustrating!

The three matches I won I played so good, it was sick.  It FELT so good to play so well!

The two I lost, I lost because I gave the matches away.  I let things bother me on the sidelines (expectations from other people) and that interfered with my playing ability.  I also underestimated my opponents.  I also got a little nervous.  But the bottom line - I didn't deliver.  I missed too many shots and scratched too many times.

Sure, it's only a race to two, but still!

Ugh.  :(

Where the heck is my mental game?

Where the heck is "play your best every shot" ?

Why aren't my positive feelings about my game reflective in my matches?

What the heck is going on with me?

Then on Sunday I played in a new league that I was recruited for.  My opponent was really good and I was intimidated.  I played the person; not the table.  Yea, I know I'm not suppose to do that.  And I played bad against him.  Yea, I had many things on my mind (a recent argument with someone, pressure to do well since I was recruited, people telling me how good I was, etc.).  But, I didn't play my game at all. 

My mental game is tanning on a beach somewhere on vacation.  Get back here biotch!  I miss you.  :(


mrmoneyroc said...

Hello Trigger, I've been keeping up with your blog for some time now, and I actually enjoy receiving your abundance of controlled and "uncontrolled" energy. You obviously have the potential for becoming a greater player with that level of confidence.
I'm a billiards enthusiast with a bit of insight that could possibly help you improve your game if not your attitude towards your playing level and how it matters in competition.
You needn't mind the player or the table as much as you should care for your particular interest in disciplines. With "players confidence," preparing for competition often requires a meditation or focus unparalleled with any other.
Sometimes hypnosis type approaches help players stay focused!
You are unique and so should be your focus. Try to poise yourself more for the event/competition level... You should know that the further you go in tournament play, the more difficult the challenge becomes... Try to adjust more to the level of play rather than the "cards dealt." You must know that no one can win but you(meaning: it's only another "pool" player), which ultimately compliments you, not "beats" you.
The best of concentration is all you should be facing, and the further/better you grow in concentration you grow the better you perform or develop in consciousness of the particular discipline. It's just like religious order, the more you study; the greater you become in concentration, and the entire church is in recognition of your growth as you become more drenched in the functionality of the worship! Hope that can be vital insight for your development just for having the voice and the heart to be heard. GOOD LUCK and BEST OF WISHES!!! J Knight aka mrmoneyroc

Melinda said...

Thank you so much J Knight! Your words mean a lot. I admit I haven't wrote many "frustrating" blogs. But I used to have such better mental toughness, so it's frustrating right now. Thank you for your help and advice!