I'm learning the hard way no matter how good I feel about my game, it simply doesn't matter.
I feel so good about my game right now, it's not even funny. I love the feeling! I know I'm playing well, I'm staying down well, enjoying playing, etc.. I have no confidence issues right now about my game and am only feeling pure happiness how well my fundamentals are right now. I feel I can win a tournament soon, that's how confident I am about my game right now. But... it's not showing up on the table for some reason.
I played in a tourney Friday night and I was the top player of the only 6 women who were in it. Was I a little cocky knowing I was the best player? Sure. Was my ego inflated? Sure.
I was "new in town" again and so eyes were watching me, but I didn't mind. However, I did think about that a few times when I was down on some shots (obviously not a good thing).
The last time I played this tourney I won it. I was stoked to finally win a tourney I was "suppose" to win. This night? I didn't come through. This night? It didn't matter how good I felt; I didn't play as good as I felt about my game.
It's very frustrating!
The three matches I won I played so good, it was sick. It FELT so good to play so well!
The two I lost, I lost because I gave the matches away. I let things bother me on the sidelines (expectations from other people) and that interfered with my playing ability. I also underestimated my opponents. I also got a little nervous. But the bottom line - I didn't deliver. I missed too many shots and scratched too many times.
Sure, it's only a race to two, but still!
Where the heck is my mental game?
Where the heck is "play your best every shot" ?
Why aren't my positive feelings about my game reflective in my matches?
What the heck is going on with me?
Then on Sunday I played in a new league that I was recruited for. My opponent was really good and I was intimidated. I played the person; not the table. Yea, I know I'm not suppose to do that. And I played bad against him. Yea, I had many things on my mind (a recent argument with someone, pressure to do well since I was recruited, people telling me how good I was, etc.). But, I didn't play my game at all.
My mental game is tanning on a beach somewhere on vacation. Get back here biotch! I miss you. :(