It didn't take place.
I was to maybe play my match last Sunday, as my potential opponent said, "I will text you Sunday after my afternoon league and let you know if I can play that night."
I figured there was a good chance we would play, so I showed up at the pool room Sunday evening ready to play. But I never got a text from him and he didn't show up at the pool room all night (I was there til about 1am playing in the Sunday night tourney).
But on the following Wednesday we planned for the next Sunday night at a specific time: 7pm.
I showed up at 7pm, got our table, but no opponent.
I texted about 7:05 - "Reserved us a table." As a polite reminder we had a match in case he forgot.
I called at 7:45 but he didn't answer. My voicemail basically said "Are you okay? I'm worried about you and not sure what to do about this."
I then asked some of my league mates what was the rule, and what do I do? They all said the rule is if you don't show up in 15 minutes, it's a forfeit. And since he didn't text or call, it should be a forfeit.
I didn't feel comfortable about that, tho. I agonized over what to really do. My opponent is a friend, I was itching to play the match, and I'm not really the type to take a forfeit like this.
However, I was so looking forward to playing. And it takes a lot of mental energy to prepare for what could be a long straight pool match. And I had prepared two Sunday's in a row for not. Yes, I wanted the win, but I more wanted to play. But everyone kept telling me to take the forfeit.
I whined to a few friends that I am trying to have the 'killer instinct" and shouldn't feel bad and just take the win, but it wasn't easy for me to go "against my grain" so to speak.
But, I guess the peer pressure got to me, as I tried to convince myself it was okay to take a forfeit.
At 11:30pm I texted him, "Dude, I'm worried about you. You know that is a forfeit, right? :( "
He replies just 5 mins later: "Sorry about tonight. I got sick last night and been in bad all day trying to recover."
How come he didn't tell me that sooner? I guess he was that sick. :(
Then five more minutes later he said:
"If you want to take the forfeit I will pay the dues Thursday; sorry"
In my haste I incorrectly texted back this: "Sorry dude. I am sorry you are sick but I am gonna have to take the forfeit b/c that's two Sunday's in a row."
He shoots back, "I was there last Sunday but whatever, enjoy your win."
Huh? *I* was there last Sunday night and he was not!
So, I say via text, "I was there last Sunday." (because I was!)
He gets agitated with me and finally says, "it doesn't matter anymore u already won."
So, being the female I am, I get upset that I've upset him. Here I am trying to have the killer instinct and take the win but now he is upset and it bothers me. But what is right? The fact is, *I* did not come up with that rule. I was just following the rule. However, I fully admit I don't want to win that way - I wanted to PLAY. But, I DID however prepare two times for the match that never happened. It may seem minor, but I have to get rest, mentally prepare myself, drive all the way over there, etc. It's not like it's down the street and I just jump in my car with no thought or preparation.
But I felt in my heart that I should just play.
I found out the next day that we have until February to play our January matches. This meant I had a whole month to play him, whereas before I thought I only had a week left and that's why I kept trying to set it up so soon.
So, I text him Monday afternoon: "Hey, I just found out we have until Feb to play our Jan matches. Plus I feel too bad to take a forfeit. Let's plan on Feb for our match, if that is okay and you don't hate me."
I call Tuesday afternoon. I figured to just talk to him and explain myself, as words via text can be misconstrued.
But he didn't answer.
And he never call back.
I never should have been so crass with that one text message. :(
Again, the female side of me feels super bad (it hasn't even been a week and I still feel bad). But the competitor in me now says "Screw it, you tried to make amends and play him again."
Most guys reading this will say, "just move on - it's over; you won." Some of the women, tho, will understand that I don't like to upset friends and that I feel uncomfortable about this whole situation.
As it stands right now, I don't know if this is forfeit or not because I haven't heard from him. I guess my league director will let me know....
First of all, you weren't crass at all in any of your communication with this guy. He's the one who got hurt feelings over nothing.
Second, you have done just about everything you could to attempt to smooth things over, except for hunting the guy down.
So, yeah, like most guys I am going to say move on. You have done your best. He has severed the lines of communication. Don't waste your time over someone who gets that upset over a pool game.
Post a Comment