Watching Other Matches

I am usually an optimist, so this hadn't even crossed my mind.  But, I shouldn't have been surprised because it seems to be a theme where I hurt people after successful, personal events.  Or, after big tournaments.  I really am beginning to think I shouldn't compete anymore if I'm just going to hurt people.

First of all, I never intentionally ever hurt anyone.  But, people keep getting hurt by my actions or inaction's.

I just found out over the weekend that a couple of my friends are disappointed that I didn't come watch their team play in the finals at ACS Nationals.

What I heard was, "We have watched you play in team finals."

You see, after my own team won the 8-ball Women's Team division late Friday afternoon, we all went to celebrate at the MGM and then at the New York New York casino.

My friends had just won another match on the one-loss side in the women's 8-Ball standard division and were playing for 3rd place.

My teammates and I went upstairs and got our checks, our trophies, and took the official pics for ACS and then decided to find a place to eat and celebrate our HUGE day!  That we were 2-time National Champs because we won the 8-ball and 9-ball women's open team divisions at ACS Nationals that day.

I had heard via text later in the evening that they made it to the finals, and they would need to double dip to win.  I was SO excited for them!  

At this point in the night, my teammates and I were pretty inebriated at another casino still celebrating.  It crossed my mind to go watch, but I suppose we were being selfish having fun.  

Honestly, the timing was what was really bad.  If we were all in the finals at the same time, obviously we would have stayed.  Instead, this was about 3 hours later.

Anyway, I was told that two of my friends were disappointed in me that I didn't stay to watch them play nor come back when they were in the finals.

So, I feel like a failure (again), instead of a champion.  

I understand I hurt my friends and I am very sorry for not being there to watch.  It wasn't intentional at all, but that doesn't mean it doesn't bother them.  And now of course it bothers me.

I've learned the hard way that I can only depend on myself for support in tournaments.  Not everyone important can be there for me, even though I yearn for it.  Everyone has things going on in their lives.

I honestly didn't realize that they wanted me to watch.  I watch because I enjoy the game and like to support, but I didn't know people wanted me to watch.  I didn't know I was supposed to watch. 

I am happy to say that my friends DID win the Women's 8-Ball Standard division and are ACS National Champions as well!!!  Congrat's, ladies!!  But sorry I hurt you.