Passion Can Come Across as Upset

One of the things on my "to-write-about" list is something I noticed I did back in November.  I didn't get around to writing about it yet, though. Dang it.

And then what do you know, I found myself doing it again just last week. Now I'm even more determined to write about this, as it is something I am not proud of at all.

What did I do that was so horrible?

I got on to a friend for something I am passionate about.

I know, doesn't sound horrible per say.

But, when I am passionate about something that I learned that helped me deeply and strongly about my pool journey, I tend to speak up more about it.

It's difficult to describe.

However, let me share something real quick:  I recall distinctly a friend in the late 90s telling me that my personal goal to win Most Improved Player was ludicrous.  It took me awhile to realize her point, but she was saying basically my goal was dependent on others. I had no control over that - someone else decided that "title" (and no, I did not win it, even though I came close).

So, fast forward 20 years and I kinda got on to my friend who shared with me back in November ironically that was her goal for the upcoming year. I should have listened more to her and also been kinder in my response. Instead, my passion for what I learned took over and I didn't really acknowledged her goal, just more so told her it wasn't a good idea.  I didn't want her to go through the same thing I learned the hard way. But, I could have stated it all better, as I told myself as I drove away from our outing.

Fast forward 9 months later and I recognized on my drive home from visiting with a different friend, that I kinda got on to her for a comment she made about big tables versus bar tables.

I admit when I am passionate about something or feel strongly about something that exponentially helped my game, I will speak up. But I don't need to be rude about it.  Ugh.  I pretty much told my friend she was wrong, and I kept stating all these reasons I learned why it's best to only practice on a 9 foot table, and that that will in turn actually help you when you get to smaller tables.

I even quipped, "don't you read my blog?" lol.

She laughed at the moment, but I am betting she felt badly I was so vocal about the topic.  (here is just one blog entry I wrote about why it's crucial to practice on 9 foot tables and how helpful it is to your game on all table sizes.)  (see, I can't stop!)

I really need to be better at giving advice at times.  Just because I learned something that deeply helped my game, doesn't mean I need to be a bully about it. I can be kind and still make points.

I am trying to figure out why I was so vocal these two times, when usually I'm pretty calm and reserved, and actually carefully think about how I'm saying my advice. I want my learning experiences and advice it to be received well, so I normally am very careful with my word choices so they don't come across harsh.  Not sure what was going on these two times.  My apologies.

 

Cueist Project: That Miss - Lesson 4, Committing

The Cueist recently had learning lessons from a crucial miss. I will share each lesson in separate blog posts.

Today we will talk about Lesson #4: Committing to the shot.

Here is the story:

I'm deep in a big state tournament. My opponent is spotting me 1 game and in a matter of about 10 mins, I'm down 4/1. I claw my way to being down only 5/3, and he misses his last ball. I only have 4balls on the table and I have the break on the hill game. Heck yeah, that's exactly what I wanted! I make my first ball, stop shot. Take a breath. 2nd ball, good shape. Take a breath. 3rd ball, had to go 2 rails for shape w/ inside English. Nail it and took a breath. Last ball before the 8 ball, and I have to draw it back off of the rail w/ outside English. Well, I didn't HAVE to do that, but that was going to get me perfect shape on the 8ball. I get down on the shot feeling a bit nervous and single stroked the shot, while chicken-winging it, and jumping up at the same time. Then took a breath. LOL. Cost me the match of course.

Cueist adds:

I didn't make up my mind on where I needed the cue ball, and as a result, I didn't commit to the shot.

Personally, I think this lesson (#4) is the key to any shot.

You have to commit to every shot, and if you're not fully committed, we need to stop and reset.

I remember getting down on the shot and said to myself that it's an easy shot, but can get tricky due to the side pocket. In reality, the side pocket should've never come into play. But because of that last second doubt and indecision, I should've stopped, gotten up, and reset. You see? I hadn't truly decided yet where I wanted to be; and it cost me.

I hate this for Cueist. A little bit of nerves, a little bit of an indecision, a little bit of thinking in his head, all led to a crucial miss.

So many things can happen to us during every shot.  The four lessons we are rehashing with The Cueist (Lesson one (easy shots), Lesson two (perfect shape), Lesson three (nerves), and today's lesson (committing) are KEY.  And the bottom line is to stay down, stay calm, breathe, and focus only on your fundamentals and solid pre shot routine.  And you'll be okay!

Cueist Project: That Miss - Lesson 3, Nerves

The Cueist recently had learning lessons from a crucial miss. I will share each lesson in separate blog posts.

Today we will talk about Lesson #3: Nerves happen.

Here is the story:

I'm deep in a big state tournament. My opponent is spotting me 1 game and in a matter of about 10 mins, I'm down 4/1. I claw my way to being down only 5/3, and he misses his last ball. I only have 4balls on the table and I have the break on the hill game. Heck yeah, that's exactly what I wanted! I make my first ball, stop shot. Take a breath. 2nd ball, good shape. Take a breath. 3rd ball, had to go 2 rails for shape w/ inside English. Nail it and took a breath. Last ball before the 8 ball, and I have to draw it back off of the rail w/ outside English. Well, I didn't HAVE to do that, but that was going to get me perfect shape on the 8ball. I get down on the shot feeling a bit nervous and single stroked the shot, while chicken-winging it, and jumping up at the same time. Then took a breath. LOL. Cost me the match of course.

"So what did we learn?" Cueist asks me, lol.

Well, nerves kick in, that's a fact. Nobody has the "cure" for nerves. It's a matter of recognizing the situation, and calming yourself enough to go through your pre-shot routine and make the shot. I should've stood up and reset.

I think we've all lost matches due to nerves at some point or another. The nerves kick in, and we miss an easy shot, etc. By remembering to breath, pre shot routine, stay down when the nerves kick in, we're able to focus on the ball/shot and increase our chances of winning the game.

Cueist says is all well and I don't need at add anything! But he did:

"See, your blog entries helped me realize the importance of staying calm a long time ago. Having a good pre shot routine helps a lot. I didn't do it this day, though, because of many factors going on." (sad face)

He is referring to Lesson one (easy shots), Lesson two (perfect shape), today's lesson (nerves), and the fourth that will be posted tomorrow (gotta wait!).

It's a good reminder that most times there isn't just.one.thing we are trying to deal with. That's what makes this game so fun, right?!  (smile face)