Defending People's Character

The one thing I have learned the hard way is that no matter how much you say you aren't a cheater or sharker, or no matter how much you stress to someone a certain player isn't, it wont change their mind.  And nothing will.

Once a player is in a match and they witness their opponent move when they shoot, or talk while down on their shot, or take too many bathroom breaks, or they "think" they lied about a foul, the damage is already done.  And nothing you can say will ever make that player think their opponent didn't do those things intentionally.

I see the glass half full.  So, when I hear someone sharked someone else, I just simply don't believe them.  And, if I know them personally and I know that's not even in them to do that, I will defend them even more.

But, it doesn't matter what I say - the person already thinks ill things about the player and the damage is already done. 

It's sad too, but it's the truth. 

And what's worse is - the player who "felt" being sharked against, will never forget and will always think that player is a cheater or sharker.

During competition, emotions can run high (especially if you are losing).  And it causes us to not think clearly or rational sometimes.  And when a situation occurs while we are competing our little hearts out that looks like sharking, we just can't imagine it isn't really sharking.

People on the sidelines see something completely different.  Why?  Because we aren't in the midst of the competition ourselves.  We are a bystander and see the whole situation different.  AND, we do not have any emotions invested like the competitors themselves do.  So, each we see the same situation completely differently.

But when you are the one on the receiving end, it doesn't matter what you hear afterwards, your mind is already made up.  And no matter what I say or try to defend the player, they just wont listen or hear me. 

Even when we try to defend ourselves, it just doesn't work.  The perception of being a sharker or cheater is already there.  And it's extremely frustrating when people don't believe us.  "That is NOT who I am!"  But we aren't listened to; no one believes us; the damage is done.  We will forever be labeled as a sharker or cheater to that person.  It's a done deal. 

Yes, I know there are cheaters and we all know who they are - but it's the ones that aren't, who are on the receiving end of an unfortunate situation, that pay the price for one offense or for a misinterpreted situation. 

More Tools in the Toolbox - Example from a Pro

I wrote before how there are many tools in our toolboxes that we may not even be using, or have thought of.

I heard about one such tool while I was in Vegas for BCAPL Nationals.

During one of the pro events, Shane Van Boeing (SVB) was playing Alex Pagulayan.  If you don't know Alex or haven't ever seen him, he's a short, animated player who lives in Canada but from the Philippines.  SVB is another top professional pool player from the US.

The match was close - maybe 8-8 or so and SVB found himself in a position after the break with no shot, so he decided to roll-out.

He surveyed the table and saw that his best choice was to roll out to a jump shot.

HOWEVER - it wasn't just ANY jump shot.  He left the cueball to where Alex could NOT jump because of his height!  Alex actually jumps very well - but if he can't reach it, well....

So, Alex had no choice but to hand back the table to SVB.  Alex joked, "I blame my parents!"

It was super funny, actually.

But, SVB used a great tool in his toolbox - he literally sized up his opponent when he decided where to leave the roll-out jump shot.

Pretty clever, imo.

SVB jumped the ball, made it, and ran out.  However, Alex eventually won the match 10-9.

Remember all your available tools!

Celebrations

I shared before how when I came home after being crowned a 3-time National ACS Champion last year, that I was depressed and very alone.  I had no one to share my accomplishments with and it was quite sobering.

Fast forward a year later and my friend Kimmy placed 2nd in that same ACS 9 Ball tourney I had won the previous year.  I was SO happy for her!

Although she was among friends, her boyfriend was not there with her.  After she came home, and started back at work, he sent her flowers to congratulate her!  It was one of the sweetest things I think I ever saw!  He lived out of state and was still "celebrating" with her and congratulating with her with flowers.  It really touched me and I thought it was super, super sweet.

Before I even got home from BCAPL Nationals this week, my friend Courtney said she wanted to have dinner to celebrate.  I admit, I cried when I read the text.  It meant SO much!

We met up last night at Pappadeaux:

 

I hardly ever see my friend Courtney anymore because I don't have my Sunday league and am slowing down on my Thursday league.  So, it was cool to have dinner and talk about my 5th place and to catch up about her family, and for her to even think of getting together to celebrate.

:)