Tips to Help Negative Feelings During Matches - Project Hunger Games

Katniss (of the Project Hunger Game Series section of my blog) was telling me the other day she felt "off" during one of her matches at league and then she lost a crucial game because of it.

You all know me, I dove right in!

I asked her about 1,000 questions (give or take a few) to get to the bottom of what she was trying to describe.  What did "off" really mean, why did she feel that way, and what was going on?

Long story short, she wasn't comfortable and she was distracted because she had some negative feelings going on. Poor girl, she had a lot of things going against her. And as we all know, it's tough enough to already play our best without distractions lol.

Basically,

• She was playing in local bar that she didn't feel comfortable in (it was very small, it was crowded that night, and also on a bad side of town)
• The two tables were so close to each other, she would have to lean her butt on the other table at times to shoot well (difficult to get comfy and worried how cute our butts look, right?)
• The other team had people cheering for them loudly because it was their home bar
• She was having some issues with a teammate who was upset with her (who knows why - you know how women can be, lol)

Like I said, she had a lot of things going against her - distractions and some negative thoughts/feelings.  No wonder she felt "off" and didn't play her best.

I want to right away jump into what will help during your matches in the future if this happens to you.

There is a mental thing you can do and a physical thing you can do.

BUT....

FIRST.….

The most important thing before you can implement any tool during a match to help you when you might be struggling is, is you must learn early to become fully aware that there is something going on. You don't need to identify it, but if you realize and recognize early enough that you are bothered, upset, distracted, feel pressure, embarrassed, WHATEVER, then you will know it's time for you to implement tools during the match to help you regain confidence. "Hey, I'm not playing well because something is bothering me. I don't know what it is, but I can tell I'm upset for some reason, and my arms are a little wobbly, and my heart is racing."

Don't wait til after the match is over to realize something was bothering you and that's why you played badly. I admit this takes some conditioning to learn, but once you do - your game will skyrocket. Instead of Monday Morning Quarterbacking, you will be solving problems right away! So, keep aware of your state of mind, your emotions/feelings, that your body feels "off," etc - if you can identify soon that something is bothering you, then you will have time to use tools to help you.

I actually think this a huge part of your repertoire.

Now, let's get to the tips!

So, I gave her two suggestions of what to do when you are playing badly while feeling pressure, embarrassment, or have negative emotions:

(1) I've written about this before, of course, which was when Phil Capelle gave me advice on how to handle embarrassment. I was almost paralyzed from competing well for about a year because I had intense feelings of embarrassment and judgement. When you're feeling negative emotions, how can you possibly play your best pool? The way to combat that is to get your mind busy with something else. Pretty simple, but very powerful. He suggested I focus completely on my pre-shot routine and three-ball shape. It was a miracle worker! My brain was so busy focusing on those two things, it had no time to think about the judgement I felt I was under. So I told Katniss if she notices she is playing badly and also has negative emotions or feelings, that she needs to solely focus on three-ball shape and her pre-shot routine (fundamentals) because it keeps your mind busy.

(2) The second thing, which I think sometimes is more important, is when you are feeling pressure you need to stroke the ball more. I've also written about this before as this was a huge learning experience for me as well, but the key is a lot of times when we feel negative emotions (pressure, upset, embarrassed, etc) we simply don't shoot the same. We actually rush our shots when we feel pressure. So the way to combat that is to stroke your cue more. I know this seems opposite of what we've all been taught - that you should have a set pre-shot routine and stroke the same number of times (except for tough shots). However, when we are nervous, we only take two strokes, and therefore we aren't following our pre-shot routine anyway, lol. Furthermore, when we are nervous or feel pressure we honestly don't even realize that we are two-stroking at all because our brain is distracted with these weird sensations of nervousness and pressure.

I've actually been in situations where I'm playing in a tournament and I'm nervous, and someone will tell me, "Hey, you're two-stroking; slow down, take your time, stroke some more." I was SHOCKED! I had no idea I wasn't stroking normally - I thought I was! You see? These negative feelings and emotions can affect our routines. Therefore, if you become aware of negative emotions and you also recognize you are playing badly, then immediately start to stroke a few extra times when you are down on the ball. You'll be amazed how effective this is.

So these are two important things that you can utilize to help you play better when you are nervous or feel pressure. There are a ton of other things you can do (read more here about tips I shared from 2011), but these two things are golden.

I PROMISE.

Again, to even be able to start to use these items is you have to have self-awareness that you are nervous or feeling pressure in the first place. Sometimes we don't know til it's too late why we are struggling. Self-awareness really is one of the most important things because without it, there's no way to begin to correct what is going on.

Til next time!

Your/My Pool Journey is Worth It!

I am beginning to wonder if I should reconsider sharing in my blog I enjoy not competing anymore.

hmmm...

I have many friends that don't just love pool, but live and breathe pool (just like I did for decades). And some of my friends started playing pool only in the last few years. So I really truly hope me sharing my joy of no longer competing will not deter them.

Admittedly, I have heard from a few people they completely relate to what I'm saying and it gives them relief to know they're not alone. You have to understand that it almost feels shameful and an embarrassment to admit we choose to not play pool right now in our lives and that we really are okay with it. 

So, while I know sharing my feelings are helping some, I hope at the same time I'm not hurting others. I hope they don't think that becoming mentally tough is hard or that competing isn't fun or that it's a lot work to play pool and deal with all the negative aspects of competition.

Well, wait, crap!  Haha, all of those things are true!  Don't be scared, though!  It's all part of the process of loving the game and improving.

I knew that competing was tough and that mental toughness was something I hadn't honed in, but yet I still competed for 25 years. Once my mental game and physical pool game came in the line at the same time, I became a force to be reckoned with!

And so that's what I would tell anyone who are starting out:  read my past enjoyment and realize that in order for me/you to become so successful, all the ups and downs of our pool journey is WORTH IT!

Mentality of Next Match After Losing

During the International 9 Ball Open back in October, I was reading some comments on Facebook about the tournament and players.

A big name player had just lost, but was still deep in the tournament.

Someone commented:  "Gonna be tough to bounce back right away after that tough loss.  We'll see."

A pro replied, "Easy to bounce back when you don't get to shoot....harder to come back if you dogged it. "

It was such an important exchange, I wanted to take a minute to talk about it.

You see, the pro was spot on.

In one sense, we can all agree that it can be difficult to bounce back right away after a tough loss.  But in all honesty, we do bounce back "easier" if our opponent simply outshot us, right?

It's when "we" are the cause of the loss that makes the next match tougher.

Because why?

Yep, because it's tough to stay in the present moment.

Plenty of players have won matches after a close, tough match.  But if a player missed balls, missed opportunities, or played bad, it's difficult to shake those ill feelings as you go right into your next match.  There sometimes isn't enough time to get over the embarrassment or sick feelings we have for dogging it in front of a crowd, or the feelings we have about ourselves for dogging it.  And therefore, it's tough to get ourselves into the "present" moment frame of mind in the next match because our body and mind are still reeling from the repercussions of the last match where we shot ourselves in our big stupid foot.

Just as I wrote about the other day - having a quarterback mentality of forgetting what just happened can go a long way to help you prevail in your matches.

Here's a really cool ending, though.  The person they were talking about was Chang Jung-Lin.  And guess what?  Yep, he ended up winning his very next match.  He was so determined because he didn't get many chances in his previous match, he actually went up 8-0 in his match before finally winning and moving on to the finals.

And then he defeated his opponent in the finals and won tournament!  $40K, baby.  Not bad, Chang!

That's some strong mental toughness that dude has!

Danielson - Back in the Game

So, Danielson has been playing pool a little bit more than what he was before. I mentioned that thing called grownup responsibilities (ie, "life") kept him from being able to play and focus on pool like he did in the past. But, as most people who take a little step away finds out, we never really lose the desire to play and therefore it came back to Danielson, as well.  Yay!

He played in a tournament a couple of weekends ago and of course the first thing I asked him (kinda interrogating, oops) was, "So, uh, do you have your checklist?"  As I've said a million times in my blog (I could be exaggerating again), reading the reminders on your checklist before every tournament or every match will really help you. And because Danielson hadn't been playing or competing in several months, reviewing his checklist would really be beneficial for him.

He said the checklist was in his case still, so that was good news.  I honestly do not know if he took it out and actually took a peek at it or not, though.  But, I can be hopeful because at least it was on his persons, right, lol, and not lost or forgotten.

He provided an update a few days after the tourney and he said he had lost his first match, but it was really close.  He shared that overall he played well, but he missed late in the rack a few times.  He thinks because he lost focus.

This is actually something I've been trying to explain what I have personally "lost" by not competing anymore.  Strong and solid fundamentals help us make the balls in front of us, but our strong fundamentals do not help our mind from wandering, getting distracted, or thinking of other things.

Eventually, what you all will find (if you haven't already) is the more often you compete, the stronger your mental toughness becomes. The brain is a muscle, too, and when you play in a lot of tournaments, that muscle (the brain) gets stronger and stronger.  You will find that you are more mentally prepared for each future tournament because of this.

However, when you don't compete often, then that muscle acts like any other muscle you aren't strengthening and therefore it may not show up well in a match for you.

While taking a break is sometimes very good for your game, if the break is too long (I'm talking 6 months or a few years or more), when you come back you're not as mentally strong as you used to be.  Good thing for us tho, because the brain is a muscle, putting time and effort working on it will strengthen it again.

I want to reiterate your fundamentals will still be there if you had a strong, solid fundamental pre-shot routine before your "break." What I recognized in myself was my fundamentals were still very strong and so I played pretty sporty the few times that I picked up a cue and hit a rack or two. But as soon as I competed, the pressure got to me and I couldn't play well or perform my best. So, it's not my physical skills that have gone down, it's my mental toughness that isn't as strong as it used to be.

So, Danielson told me without even prodding from me (ah, Grasshopper!), that what he needs to do is practice a little more maybe with some cheap gambling sets so that he can work on his focus which in turn will strengthen his mental toughness that is currently just locked away, but ready to come out.

I'm excited he's playing again! I just hope that he doesn't get frustrated with the process to get back into competition form and decide to throw his cues in the trash LOL. I'm just kidding - I doubt he would do that.  But my point is it can get frustrating when your game isn't where it used to be and it takes patience while you wait for it to come back.

But, if Tiger Woods can do it, so can Danielson ;)

Playing Badly in the Middle of a Match

So, you may be wondering (or not, lol) if I watched any pool matches while I was helping out at ACS Nationals in Vegas in May. 

Well, the Admin desk was right outside the large convention room of pool tables, and I had to make a few announcements at the Tournament Desk, which one could only get to by walking by the extremely LONG row of pool tables, so yes, I watched some matches, lol.  I would mostly stop in my tracks and watch matches of friends as I passed, just to see how they were doing.  Or, a few times I would watch the Master players, just because I like to compare my choices with their shot selections.

I probably didn't even watch an hours worth of matches, honestly.  If I was down at the convention area, I was working.  When I wasn't working, I was off to New York New York casino or Harrah's casino to gamble/eat!

At one point though, I did go see how a close friend and her team were doing.  I walk up, and she's at the table.  Two teammates tell me something like, "You need to talk to her, something is going on.  We feel bad for how badly she's struggling and feeling."

So, I sat down and watched her play that game and could tell she was playing timid, which can be a sign of negative thoughts or embarrassment concerns. 

What she needed was a boost of confidence!

After she lost, she came outside the playing area and I got up and hugged her.  She didn't really want to talk to me, much less anyone else.  She was SO upset with herself for playing badly and she felt horrible for her team that she wasn't playing better for them.  As I hugged her, she started to cry - that's how much this bad play was affecting her.

I tried to give her some advice.  But as we all know, offering advice or opinions when someone is emotional is not usually the best time and your words aren't received very well, lol.  But, I still wanted to try, even though I could tell she just wanted to walk away from me so I didn't see her tears.  But, I was persistent and wouldn't let her go.  I told her that just acting confident, makes us confident.  "Scientific tests have proven this with actors," I shared with her, not that she cared, but I didn't want her to think I was just spouting off stupid anecdotes lol.  I told her the way to resolve this the best is to sit up real straight in her chair during her matches, even exaggerate her back being SUPER straight, so her body could FEEL like it's confident.  This act alone does wonders.

I also told her to take deep breathes.  Really breathe in, HOLD, then don't let the air out until she can feel her blood pulsating from her veins.  Then let the air out slowly.  This is THE best way to slow down our adrenaline.

I looked at her and she wasn't deep breathing at all.  "Are you breathing?  I don't see you holding your breath at all," I told her jokingly, but also being serious.  She tried to take a deep breath for me, as I still saw some lingering tears run down her cheek.

She was up again and off she went.  I sat and watched and sure enough, she lost another game.  BUT!  I could tell she was playing a little more confident, just happened to not win.

She was up right away again and I walked away, as I didn't want to be THAT parent who is eagle-eyeing her kid.  But I was still watching... and she ran out!

You could see how pleased she was and she was finally smiling!  I was so proud of her and was happy she overcame her bad/nervous/embarrassed play and started to play pool again!  Such a proud Momma I was :)

So, being the person I am, I asked her later that night or the next day with my chest out proudly, "So, uh, did my advice help you?  I helped you, right?"

She replies, "I dunno."

WTF.  What do you mean you don't know??

I mean, she was playing better right away after I gave her a pep talk and was more confident right away.  Did I not the SAVE THE DAY??!

hahhahaha.  Actually, all funniness aside, I don't think it was my golden words of advice at all.  I honestly think it was more so I let her get her emotions out by crying and that was a release of stress and emotions.  THAT is what I think helped her.  Not my experienced words of advice that can move mountains.  hahaha

I think the key here is for players to recognize when you are having a "break down" or whatever you want to call it.  For guys, the cure/help may be to go to the bathroom and splash your face with water, or for them to go outside and yell real quick.  For me, I would have done some jumping jacks in the bathroom to literally snap out of whatever was going on.  Any type of release for whatever is interfering and causing your bad play.

Of course, the other solution could be all about mental activities to help you.  For some people it's a physical solution, for others it's mental activities that can help reverse our negative thoughts.  Deep breathes, filling you confidence flask, remember to love the game, etc.

So, let's be clear.... I'm not suggesting players cry, but I am suggesting to be aware enough that SOMETHING is going on and then you need to do something about it.  Whatever your "something" is, do it so it helps you snap out of your bad play hopefully in time. 

Good luck, Cry Babies!  Just kidding :)

The Crowd is Not Against You

I have written before that one of the things we finally figure out in our pool journey is when the crowd is cheering for your opponent, try not to take it as them cheering AGAINST you.

I admit, though, it's very easy to think that way, especially in the heat of the battle.

You are already playing your little heart out and here are people rooting against you!

Well, Grasshopper, they aren't really doing that - the people who are clapping are simply just cheering for your opponent, not against you.  But damn, it sure feels like it, huh? STRONGLY feels like it in fact.  Especially if you are down in a match or not playing well, it really STINGS when the crowd cheers excessively for your opponent or only for your opponent (and not you at all).

It's so tough not to take it personal.  I have to talk to myself, "They are just rooting for them, not against me."  I literally have to remind myself because it can be hard to fade.

Pool is already so mental, so that distraction can hurt us, and we need to counter those negative feelings with the realization the cheering isn't against us personally.

At one of the Omega Billiards Tour stops this year, a couple of local players came in early Sunday evening to watch the matches and they had been drinking.  Okay, they were on the drunk side, lol.

This particular match was deep in the tournament between two top players.  One player, let's call him "Tony," made the 9 ball and the two guys start clapping.  Tony wins again, "Good job, Tony!" they yell out clapping loudly.  Clearly on Tony's side and clearly been drinking, lol,

This may not seem out of the ordinary, but let me set the stage:  There had been no clapping or cheering the whole tournament - none at all - not even in this match.  The place was quiet with fans watching, but not jeering going on.

So, it was definitely out of place all of a sudden.

As a Tournament Director, I can't ask them to stop cheering for a player - they weren't being rude or vulgar - but I think everyone in the room felt bad for the other player, let's call him "Rick," who was obviously not being cheered for and left out of the accolades.

They continued to cheer only for Tony and I could tell Rick wasn't bothered by it, but he was aware of them of course.

At one point Rick is racking while the guys are still clapping and verbally congratulating Tony on another notch in the race.  Rick looks over at the guys and then turns to his opponent and declares, "Wow, you have some fans in here."

Rick wasn't being rude, he was just really pointing out what we all were witnessing.  And he did it in a very tactful, funny way.

And what do you know, the guys then started to root for Rick, too!  I don't know if they sensed it or realized it, but when Rick won the next few games, they finally cheered and clapped for him lol.

We can talk to the crowd or make out-loud comments, and it can sometimes help.  I don't recommend it all the time, lol, but sometimes we are too hurt or affected and our emotions cause us to speak up.  I did this once when my opponent was favored in a match in Florida by all her friends and fans.  I was the outsider that was beating her.  I would win another game, nothing,  She would win a game and the crowd went wild (not wild, lol, but clapped for her).  I made a good out and heard nothing.  I said out loud, "I thought that was a good run?"  Looking at the crowd, asking them, sincerely curious, lol.  And they nodded and then clapped.  And thereafter they clapped for the both of us the rest of the match.

I didn't think they were rooting against me, but it still bothered me I wasn't given credit also just because they didn't know me personally.

The point is to NOT let the cheering for your opponent get to you.  I admit it's not easy, but it will help you in the long run when you are in these situations to just realize they are rooting for your opponent, but not against you.  I promise you'll thank me.  :)

Figure Out Misses Right Away

The trials and tribulations of our pool journey are what makes us who we are at present day in that journey.

When I first started to play pool, I'd leave the tourney with no thought about my matches, really.

As time went on, I started to care more, and therefore reflect more.  And so naturally I'd leave the tourney thinking about my horrible finish (errr, outcome lol).

As more time and dedication to the game went on into my journey, I started to reflect at the end of each tourney day.

But then things started to progress and as more time was spent at tournaments, I would think about why I lost a match right afterwards.  What was I doing wrong?  How come I practiced so well, but dogged my brains out during the match?  Etc.

As our game matures, so does our reflections and learning.  Eventually, I wouldn't just think in general why I lost, after matches I would be more specific, "oh crap, I wasn't staying down."  Or, "dang it, I was too bothered by outside influences and it was distracting me."

This is all GREAT progress!

But let me share what took me years to figure out, so you don't have to go through the long process that I went through lol.

AS SOON AS YOU MISS, figure out why.  Start to think about it right then and there!  Don't wait til you're down 0-6 to realize you aren't following through.  Don't wait til the match is over to realize why you didn't play your best.  DO NOT WAIT.

As soon as you miss - think about it right away and try to figure out why, what is going on?

For me, it's pretty simple (well, after trial and error for all those years lol).  I either am not staying down, not looking at the object ball last, not looking at 3-ball-ahead shape, or thinking about future consequences.

For example, if I am missing tough shots, it's normally because I have left myself tough shots which means I am out of line because I'm not thinking 3-balls ahead.

My match winnings significantly went up when I started to be more aware of figuring out as soon as I missed what was going on and why, so I could resolve it.

The key is to pay attention early and figure out what is going on right away.  Don't wait!

One of the biggest pieces of advice I like to share.  :)

Learn to Refocus

One HUGE thing I learned from being diligent about competing in tournaments was I found out how vital it is to refocus during a match.

I wrote about this before and I still think it's a huge, important thing (link here) to increasing your winning percentages. 

And I experienced this just the other day in league playoffs.

Basically, a match can go by in a instant!  And then afterwards, you think, "what happened?  why did I lose?"

Although you should always evaluate your game and learn after each match - how about after you miss a few times you ask yourself those questions right then and there (what's going on, why am I missing?).  Don't wait til after the match to finally realize why you were missing.  Figure it out before the match is over so you can try to resolve it.

Probably over 200 times over ten years after a match, I realized, "oh crap I was nervous" or "dammit I wasn't staying down" or you were worried about someone watching so you felt funny and were concerned more about that than focusing on three-balls-ahead-shape.

After a match, it's TOO LATE.  So the key is it REALIZE early that your game is off and to figure out why during the match so you can resolve it before the last ball falls and you lose. 

Sucks to figure out later what was going on. 

However obvious this sounds, it's really not.  It's really about training yourself to recognize that something is off.  As soon as you miss a few balls - what is different?  Why am I missing?  What am I thinking or doing?  And then resolve it - right then and there - to give you a better chance at getting back into the match at hand.

So during league playoffs, my opponent ticked me off b/c she said we didn't need a ref even though I wanted one.  It took me about 5 missed shots (in 8ball with a tough table, luckily) to realize I was missing because I was upset with her.  And since I was upset with her, how can I possibly focus on pool?  (multitasking is something our brain cannot do well - read another link here).

So, as soon as I realized what was going on in my mind and with my body being upset, I was able to refocus back on my fundamentals and not miss again to win for my team.  Can you imagine if you were in a race to 5 or 7 of a match?  Figuring out what is going on can easily get you back in the game even if your are down 0-2 or 0-3. 

It's normal to get distracted at times, the key is getting you back on track as soon as possible.

I got lucky I had time to regroup.  That's why it's important to really recognize right away that something is off so you can resolve it to give you a better chance of winning. 

Worry About Future

As I wrote about many times in April and May, the reason why I did so well at the BCAPL Texas State tourney and ACS Nationals in Vegas was because I didn't think ahead, had no concerns or wants, and just kinda went through the motions without worrying about wanting the title so badly I paralyzed myself.

I also shared that I had not hit balls.  I felt that if I didn't prepare, I wouldn't be disappointed.  I had prepared and practiced SOOO many weeks before big tourneys for SOOO many years with no success, that I just wanted to get away those weekends.  Pool was the last thing on my mind.

And yet, then I won.

Well, I decided to practice straight pool a few weeks ago at my house.  Instead of sitting on my butt just watching tv, I actually hit balls.  Granted, straight pool is a VERY frustrating game and although it's suppose to sharpen your skills, I feel as if I'm playing worse now (only playing in my women's league, but I don't see great runs).  Instead, I'm not really playing well right now.

As the BCAPL National Championships is on the horizon, in literally a week and a half away, I feel pressure.  Ugh.  Pressure is NOT good for me.

As I mentioned, I was interviewed a couple of times in June about my recent wins and each asked me what my hopes were for the BCAPL Nationals coming up.  I replied honestly, "I don't have expectations or wishes or wants, I just hope to NOT think ahead, stay in the moment, so I don't freak myself out with wants and desires."

Each person seemed surprised by my response, "You don't think you'll do well?"

I replied, "No, like I explained already, I do better by NOT thinking ahead.  So, I don't want to even think that far ahead."

Well, of course, now, the tourney is on my mind.  Someone told me recently I could be amateur player of the year, if they had such a title.  And as of May, it was not even half way into the year when this famous billiard writer told me this.

I am fully and very much well aware that people are kinda "expecting" I do well in Vegas at the BCAPL Nationals.  It would make sense, right?  Since I'm having such a great year.

But, man, that's A LOT of pressure!

Dang it, I'm thinking ahead.

I feel like I have pressure.

I feel like I'm suppose to do well.

I only have a week and a half to GET OVER these thoughts, emotions, feelings, concerns and ONLY show up and trust my fundamentals, all those years of experience, and play pool.  NO THINKING AHEAD.  No wants or desires or worrying about expectation or status.

I sure hope I get over these concerns, because I really would like to do well!  Yep, I said it,  I care. Ugh!  NOT good for me to think like that!

See why I'm concerned?  :(  Thinking ahead is NOT good for me!

I know that playing scotch doubles first with my awesome partner, Marty Jones, will help prepare me for singles.  And if I don't do well in either.... then I'm still a good person who loves pool, right?

No pressure.  Enjoy the moment.  We only live once.

That's what I need to do.  No expectations.  Enjoy playing the game we all love: pool.

A Statue

I mentioned earlier this month that people have told me they like my demeanor around the table and they appreciate that about my style of play.

I try to show no emotions - especially anger or upsetness. No negative body language or those "disgust" facial expressions we want to make when someone shits in a ball or something.

Well, I did this non-emotion A LOT the other night.

A LOT

I was a freaking statue!  

I was very proud of myself!

On Saturday night, I got a few hours of practice in on the 9 foot table and then was headed with some friends to a local hangout.  Right as we left the pool room, tho, we heard that "T" (the guy I gambled with back in April) was at another pool hall, so we all went over there to see if he wanted to play me some more.

Long story short, we played again! 

It was funny, because my friend asked him if he wanted to play me and he replies looking at me, "I've only been beat by one girl and I'm going to beat you.  You sure you want to play?" 

Yep, I do!

He didn't know I was the same girl!!  lol.

T was playing better this night, though, and he won the first set for $100.

Then I won the second set hill-hill for $100.

Even.

Whew.

T is the type of player who tries to cheese the 9ball a lot.  He would fire at the 9ball so many times and I would just be standing there solid, holding my cue, not even flinching when he went for them. 

As he fired at all those 9balls, I stood still:  like a statue.  I didn't move at all.  I just waited for my turn.

I didn't act like a child or throw my hands in the air in disgust, or shift my body, nothing.  Not even facial expressions.  You would have thought we were practicing, lol! 

I just let him fire at the 9ball. Most the time he would miss, but that 9ball would travel 3-5 rails and knock other balls in!  I just stood there non-affected, holding my cue, even tho he was getting "lucky." SO proud of myself for not showing emotions or making gestures.

BTW, we played a 3rd set for $300.  I was down 0-2, then up 6-3, then it was tied 6-6.  I was down 7-6, but then won 9-7 for the cash.  :)

Statue baby!

Dibs

I don't know if others are like this, but thought I'd share my thoughts on travel mates and dibs.

When I travel to tournaments with others, whoever is doing best in the tournament at the end of the first day gets dips for Saturday night decisions.

I normally am very choosey where I go eat, but if they are still in the tourney and I am not, then they get dibs on where to eat.

They also get dibs on if we stay out late or not, or go somewhere other than straight to the hotel room.  They get dibs on if the tv can be left on or not, who gets what bed, who gets to sleep alone (if there are 3 people in the room for example).  You may think these are little things, but imo they are BIG things that can help them do well in the tourney the next day.

I think it's very important to get a good nights rest and have a GREAT night, esp the night before the final day of a tournament.  I want my roommie to have the best chance at doing well, so I want to make sure she has a good night so she feels great for the next day.

I have been with travel mates who are not doing as well as I am going into Sunday and there is nothing worse than being upset the night before the Sunday matches.  They may want to stay out late, or go to another bar, or whatever.

The point is, I want a nice, peaceful, restful night before my Sunday matches.  I don't want roommates coming in late, waking me up, OR keeping me out late if I am dependent on riding with them (for example).  I need sleep and I need to be in a good frame of mind.  If I am upset the night before at my travel mates, that's not a very good mindset to play good pool for the next day.  Makes for unnecessary distraction.  When... I should be focusing on pool.

I have been in this situation a lot in the past, so I am very cognizant of ensuring my travel mates get dibs if they are doing better than I!

If I happen to be doing better, then I will speak up and say nicely I need to get rest or need to get to the room sooner than everyone else.  In these situations, we MUST think of ourselves.  We are there to compete.  We must be prepared.

So, think of your travel mates, too!  Help them be in the best frame of mind to compete.  Be their little corner man!

DIBS!

Tournament Mantra's

Last weekend I played in the OB Cues Ladies Tour in OKC at Jamaica Joe's (beautiful pool room btw!).

I spoke to a good friend on Sunday who was on the one-loss side, but still in (I placed 9th, and the brought 5-6th places back on Sunday).

I asked her, "How do you feel today?"

She replied quickly with one word. "Determined."


I said, "Good for you!"

"Thanks.  I really want to do well today and I so I am determined."

So, throughout the day and before or during her matches when I would see her, I would walk by her and say "Determined" to her and she would smile back.

I have had "pool mantra's" before, also.  Usually mine are more about my pre shot routine, not an emotion or feeling, tho.

Like:

• Stay down
• Take advantage of their mistakes
• Breathe
• Have fun

Things like that.

I like her attitude for sure!

And she won the tourney, BTW!

Do you have pool mantra's too?  OR a word your focus on during a tournament to help you?  You are welcome to share in the comment section below.

Five Pillars of Mental Toughness

No reason to rehash a great article, instead, SHARE it!

5 Pillars of Mental Toughness - article in stack.com.

Enjoy!

And, in case the article disappears or the link gets removed, here is the article pasted:

Want to take your game to the next level and reach your full athletic potential? Physical training will only take you so far. Success in sports also depends on many aspects of mental toughness, including the ability to increase self-confidence, improve focus, sharpen your mental preparation, control arousal (or energy level) and develop resilience.

Although it is invaluable for sport success, mental toughness is often a misunderstood part of athletic development. Yet how you develop your mind will directly impact how well you play your sport—for better or for worse.

The reality—and the good news for athletes—is that mental toughness can be learned. The "Five Pillars of Mental Toughness" are skills you can develop and improve. Using them will lead directly to future success in sports.

1 Preparation
Mental preparation includes how well you pay attention to details, your level of self-discipline, and the attitude you develop that helps you stay positive and optimistic. Mentally prepared athletes achieve success in the classroom, train regularly, and avoid negative influences that can interfere with their athletic development.

Use the following questions to gauge your level of mental preparation:

• Are you fully aware of the expectations placed on you by your team?
• Do you know your role on the team?
• Are you keeping up with all of your responsibilities—and not just sports?
• Do you make it a point to adopt a positive attitude every day?
• Are you working hard every day to become the best player you can be?

2 Focus
Another vitally important component of athletic success, focus is often the difference between two equally talented athletes. Even elite athletes can lose focus, both on and off the field.
Here are three ways to improve your focus:

• Ignore irrelevant distractions

Identify the things that are critical to your future athletic success—like staying in top physical condition, eating right and getting proper rest—and block out irrelevant factors—like what is being said about you on Twitter and in sports chat rooms. Remember, the only play that is important is the next play, so focus accordingly.

• Journal your progress

Keep a journal of your goals, accomplishments and notes about how to continue to improve. Since human memory can sometimes be sketchy, developing a journaling system will help you improve your focus.

• Balance your time

It's tempting to devote all of your free time to sports, but your focus will actually improve if you maintain a more balanced schedule. Prioritize family, school and other important parts of your life as much as you do sports. When you balance, you will increase your motivation, feel fresher when you play and lower the risk of burnout.

3 Arousal Control
To achieve athletic success, it's important to know how to calm down when you're nervous (high arousal), and how to get pumped up when you're flat (low arousal).
The "zone" is the state of optimal arousal. Athletes who are "in the zone" don't have to think when playing their sport; they simply react. Learn how to modify your energy level and find a happy medium between high and low arousal.

Calming Down

• Take one or two deep breaths into your stomach and hold each one for four or five seconds. Deep breathing is the best way to calm your nerves and lower arousal.
• Use imagery to generate positive, calming thoughts
• Starting with one muscle group, tense and relax it for 4 or 5 seconds, then go through the rest of your body

Pumping Up

• Listen to upbeat music on game days
• Increase your heart rate with a dynamic warm-up
• Review your personal goals

Confidence
Confidence and athletic success are closely correlated, and they reinforce each other. When you play well, your confidence increases, and when you improve your self-confidence, you tend to play better.
Here are some techniques that improve confidence:

• Goal setting

Set goals you can control and that are specific and measurable; and be sure to keep track of your progress. Set short-term, mid-term and long-term goals. You will be creating a goal ladder to future success. Short-term goals will lead to long-term goals.

• Consistent, healthy training

There are no shortcuts to success; and hard work, healthy living, motivation and perseverance will lead to greater self-confidence.

• Positive self-talk

If you tell yourself you stink, your confidence will suffer. Positive and
productive self-talk will boost your confidence.

5 Resilience
Resilience is the ability to handle stress, adversity and failure. Regardless of how talented you are, there will be days when things don't go right. This is where character develops. You either overcome the adversity or succumb to it. When you learn ways to deal with stress and adversity, you improve your chances for athletic excellence in many ways.

Athletes who allow their emotions to take over usually end up playing below their potential. It's your choice what to do the next time you drop a ball, strike out or miss an open shot. You can either view negative events as threats to your athletic development or as challenges to make yourself better the next time the situation occurs. Feeling sorry for yourself, throwing tantrums or taking your aggression out on others won't help, but learning from those experiences will.

Creating a bounceback technique will help in moments of failure and frustration. A bounce-back technique is a ritual you perform during a game that allows you to quickly turn things around in your mind. For example, after a bad play you might pinch a few blades of grass and throw them into the wind—a symbol for letting that last play go. The technique should be quick, unobtrusive and linked in your mind to letting a bad play go.

Knowing what you will do when failure occurs will prepare you for times when you do come up short.

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Sharking and Excuses Quote

I read this the other day on a discussion thread on AZBilliards.com Forums.  It was so powerful and a great reminder, I wanted to share:

"If you let something bother you, you're only sharking yourself and making excuses. " - Andrew Cleary

 

Review: Mastering the Inner Game of Pool

I received an email a while back from David Krolick who said he wrote a small book on mental toughness. 

At first I was like, damn, I don't read a lot of books, but after I downloaded it, I saw it was only 22 pages (and that included the front and back pages).

My kind of book :)

I have been meaning to write this review for MANY months and I apologize in advance to David for taking so long. 

Honestly, I read it the second day I had it in my hot little hands.

I learned some good tips from the pages right away!  I have used some certain mental tips the last few months.  While some of the things he shares I have already experienced and know, there are tidbits that were new to me and I'm glad I read it.

I only have one complaint:  (and this is ironic), I wish it was longer!  It's chalk full of really fantastic mental advice and help that I wish it kept going and going!  He states suggestions clear and easy-to-read, and he could even elaborate on them.  But more so, I yearned for more because it was so helpful.

The biggest thing I got from his book was "The Subconscious Mind" section.  I'd like to share the specific secret I keep using in my matches, but will only do so in person if you ask me - otherwise, you'll have to get the book yourself either as an e-book or via Amazon on Kindle.

With the book being so short, I can't possibly even give up one tip.  No begging!

Thank you David for taking the time to write this mental toughness book for the players who want to improve their game!

-------------

Description of Mastering the Inner Game of Pool:  Thinking is fine for some things but can be a major distraction while trying to execute a pool shot. Baseball great, Yogi Berra put it this way: "You can't think and hit at the same time." The fact is that whenever you combine thinking and doing, the doing will always suffer.

Mastering the Inner Game of Pool will help you to solve this common dilemma. This small book will show you how to quiet your mind and allow the shot to happen unhampered by unnecessary thought.

Worrying about the results will not change them. As a matter of fact, worry just might be the engine that starts negative thinking, and if you are involved in negative thinking, you will not expect to win. ~Zig Ziglar

I'm just going to cut and paste this and give proper credit where credit is due:

Don’t Worry About Results

By Zig Ziglar

Have you ever watched people bowl? Many of them go through a little ritual before they actually get to the point of hurling their bowling ball in the direction of the pins. They carefully lace up their bowling shoes, and then the hunt for the perfect bowling ball begins.  They may put on a bowling glove as well as an elbow brace. As they step to the line they glare at the bowling pins and get into their approach posture. Then they step forward and release the bowling ball down the alley.  That’s when it gets interesting. As the ball rolls toward the pins the bowler starts deploying facial expressions, body English, and hand signals to “guide” the ball into the best impact point on the pins. As they see the ball drifting into a less-than-perfect point of impact they begin to give voice commands to the ball to correct its course. Of course, once the ball is released it is on the way, and there is nothing the bowler can do to change what is going to happen. The bowler could just as easily release the ball, turn around, and not even look at the impact of ball and pins. The results would be the same.

The bowling illustration demonstrates the futility of “worrying” about results. When you have set your goals properly and planned the action you need to take it’s a waste of time, energy, and emotion to worry about the results of what you have set in motion. When you execute an action step, it is like releasing a bowling ball. The results ball is rolling, and there is little you can do to change the point of impact.  Worrying about where the ball will impact the target won’t improve or change what happens. The results will be the fruit of how well you prepared and planned and executed the action.

Worrying Makes Problems Worse
Worrying about the results will not change them.  I certainly recognize that a certain amount of worry is just part of being human. People have concerns about many things. There are legitimate concerns about money and financial security. There are legitimate concerns about health issues, and there are concerns about our personal and professional relationships. People want all of these things to go well in their lives, and a certain amount of worry and concern is normal. But there is another kind of worry that is not only dangerous to your health; it is dangerous to your success. The kind of worry I’m talking about is “imagined worry.” Imagined worry is when you spend a lot of time thinking about the future and what might happen in your life that could be terrible. My late friend Mary Crowley said, “Worry is a misuse of the imagination,” and she hit the nail on the head with that remark.  Now you might be wondering why I’m so concerned about worrying and what it has to do with success and expecting to win, so I’ll tell you. Worry is the most significant factor that relates to the root of negative thinking. As a matter of fact, worry just might be the engine that starts negative thinking, and if you are involved in negative thinking, you will not expect to win. If you spend an excessive amount of time imagining all the bad things that can happen in your life, you will become a person who is problem-conscious, not solution-conscious. There is perhaps no greater example of how this can be so dangerous than when it involves worrying about health issues.  I have known many people who receive bad medical reports, and when they hear the news, they begin to worry so much about it that their life may as well have ended at that moment.  Yes, they have bad days, but they choose to focus on the good days and what they can still do. They live in the moment and know full well that tomorrow will be what it is and they can deal with it when it arrives, not before.

Stop Worrying . . . Start Expecting
Worry is the result of thinking and imagining what might happen in the future. I want to stress the word “imagine.” The only reality people have is what is going on in their lives today. It is in the events of the day that life transpires, and anything based on tomorrow is pure speculation. I’ve learned that if you have planned and prepared, you can have reasonable expectations about the future. If you take care of your health through a good diet coupled with exercise, you can reasonably expect good health in the future. If you save and invest your financial resources, you can reasonably expect to have financial security in the future. If you live by principles of love and service to others, you can reasonably expect to have good personal relationships in the future. Good action today will produce good living tomorrow. Reasonably good expectations for tomorrow are based on positive thinking and prudent action today. Try this: instead of imagining all the bad things that might happen to you in the future based on your fear, start imagining things working out. There’s a song titled, “What If It All Goes Right?” by Melissa Lawson. The second line of the chorus is, “What if it all works out, what if the stars all line up . . . ” You have to develop a what if it does go right and work out expectancy if you want to be the winner you were born to be.

I Don’t Worry
Worrying is something I quit doing many years ago, and today I can honestly tell you that I don’t worry about anything—period! In fact, when the terrorist attack happened on 9/11 and I had to find a way to travel back home, I did not worry about the possibility of another attack. I believe if it is not my time, there’s not a terrorist on the earth who can change the will of God about what my lifespan should be. I never worry because I know who I am and I know Whose I am. I know that the principles I live by are true and correct. I also know that I always try to do the right thing, and when you do the right things in life, you don’t have to worry about results. As a matter of fact, if I’ve done the right thing every day I’m not even responsible for results. I just get the benefit of what I do, and the benefits are usually better than I could have hoped for.

Finally, remember that if you have planned and prepared yourself to win, there is no need to worry about the results. Like the bowler who has released the ball down the alley, you must learn there is nothing your worrying can do to change anything. If you have planned well and set good goals, you can have confidence that you know where you want and need to go. If you have done what you need to do to prepare yourself to win, you do not have to worry. You will have no justification to worry about failure. You can expect to win!

The article is adapted from Born to Win:  Find Your Success Code.   Zig Ziglar was known as America’s Motivator.  He authored 32 books and produced numerous training programs.  He will be remembered as a man who lived out his faith daily.

Michael Jordan Lessons

Michale Jordan is an inspiration.  And like most successful people, he has failed a lot.

I'm sure you've heard that most successful business owners went bankrupted at some point in their life - usually in the beginning.  That didn't stop them from succeeding in future avenues, tho!

In order to succeed you must fail, says this article. Failure is an essential step towards success.  The more successful the individual, the more failures they will have faced along the way.

View this short clip and then read Michael Jordan's top 6 lessons about failure:

http://successprofessor.ca/2008/11/27/you-must-fail-%E2%80%93-six-lessons-from-michael-jordon/

And in this article, Michale Jordan gives us 7 Lessons:

http://www.healthmoneysuccess.com/793/7-lessons-we-can-learn-from-michael-jordan/

"If we want to achieve great results and be successful in life, we need to learn from those who had been there and done that. Michael Jordan has the qualities to be successful and he is definitely a great role model that we can learn from.

Michael Jordan is a guy who was cut out of his varsity basketball team because he was deemed too short to play at 1.8 meter but he turned out to be highly successful in his basketball career and was known as a legend in the game.

He had showed the mental toughness to bounce back from failure and here are 7 lessons we can learn from him."

Staying in the Present - Quarterback Style

While I mentioned in my last blog entry that I liked the author's take and attitude toward the young, retiring Keyon Dooling, I am going the opposite way with this author about Tony Romo.

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/thehuddle/post/2012/09/tony-romo-super-bowl-/1#.UGX7PMUwx8E

For someone who I presume writes often about sports, you would think he would truly understand Romo's insistence in not answering questions about the future!

Every athlete knows that expectations can be the root of evil.  Thinking ahead can be detrimental.  Anticipation keeps your eye off the ball.  Sure, you make plans to train, and it may cross your mind about that future championship, but the must important thing is to remain in the present.

Yet, this author berates Tony for not answering questions about the future.

"The questions kept coming at Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo from the New York news media, and one by one Saturday, he dodged them like they were Jason Pierre-Paul blowing snot bubbles on an all-out bull rush."

I, on the other hand, applaud him for standing up to the proper mental toughness and NOT answering the barrage of questions directly.  Instead, kinda side stepping them with answers reiterating how important the present is:

What would it mean to get to the playoffs and win a Super Bowl?

"It's really just about going out to practice today and tomorrow," Romo said. "Going from there. We're not even looking at anything past that. ... It's about how we can go work and try to get better for the Giants."

But you are conscious of the fact that you can change your legacy by winning a championship right?

"It's an understanding that this game is not about tomorrow, it's about today," he said. "For me, you could talk about it till we're blue in the face, but it comes down to figuring out how to get better right now. All of that other stuff long term will take care of itself. You don't give yourself a chance to do any of that stuff unless you prepare today and get better."

I do admit and realize this article is written well, and the twist about him continually not answering questions is a great theme to the whole piece. But, for those of us who are competitors, well, I see Tony's viewpoint as smart.  I do not see it as "poking-fun" materiel.  I also think it shows how important and focused of an athlete he his.  It's obvious he understands the value of the present to his career, his teammates, and the fans.

Wont mean he''ll win every game (that is now proof), but at least mentally he is strong with the present.

Getting Upset at Rolls?

I have seen bad rolls really get to a player.  To the point they get so mad and frustrated at bad rolls, that they are no longer playing pool.

They are too pissed to play pool with a clear mind.

I find it funny - not laughing funny - but funny in the sense people take it PERSONAL that an inanimate object rolled a little bit more than it should behind a ball.  Or scratched b/c it rolled too much.  It's a little ball!  And yet people get irate over rolls.

The ball did nothing personal to you; it's not even possible!  Yet, people fume and let the "bad rolls" interfere with what could be a great match ahead of them; most likely a winning match!

The key to any match is to not pass judgement on anything.  Try as hard as you can to smile, sit up straight, and breathe, breathe, breathe.  Bad rolls happen, it's part of the game.  If you let it get to you, then you aren't 100% ready for the shot you are about to take.

You need to be 100% ready to shoot again.

If things upset you, that takes oxygen away from the brain, which makes you think foggy, instead of clear.

There's a thing I read in a book once that said even actors that 'act' upset have lower levels of oxygen going to the brain.  This means you can trick your mind into thinking clearly, too!  Just remain calm.  Accept the shots as is - be thankful you get a shot!  Not upset you are hooked.  Don't place a label on a good roll or bad roll.  It's just a roll.  Life goes on.  Life is short.

Fill yourself up with the immense, wonderful feeling of being able to play the sport you love.  Breathe the air in as you smile upon yourself as you realize you are so blessed to be able to play this game you love.  Some people sit at home, with disease, depression, health issues, family issues, etc., and aren't even able to get out of the house, aren't even able to walk.  How blessed we are to get hooked!  Plus, every roll someone gets while playing usually means you will get a roll later.  It all evens out.  Breathe.  Smile.  Focus on the air going in.  Focus on letting it out. 

Have you ever seen Belinda Beardon Campos play?  If someone shits in the 9-ball against her, she never, ever makes a face about it.  Never.  She gets up, and racks.  You would never know it just happened to her.  Because it didn't!  It didn't happen to her - it happened on the table.  The ball didn't know it did that 'against' you - it's an inanimate thing doing something - not to you personally - it doesn't even know you are there.  

It reminds me of roulette.  If you see ten odd numbers come up, people think to bet on even.  The little ball doesn't know that though.  It's still a 50-50 chance to get odd or even.  It doesn't have any outside, human influences.  Just like a roll or hook - the ball didn't do it to you personally.  It just happened because of physics - the ball causes friction, there was speed involved, they hit it too hard/soft and there was a hole to go in or a ball to stop behind.  It doesn't know it was your turn to shoot.

Know your ability.  Trust it.  Practice it.  'Feel' your calmness and stroke and ability.  Literally feel deep inside you the way it makes you feel to be playing good.  Take that feeling with you to your matches.  Enjoy being able to play.  Enjoy the experience.  You know how it feels inside you to be playing like you are on air, no one can stop you, everything is going in, nothing is bothering you... now, if something distracts you (a hook, slop shot, miscue, etc.) it's not directed at you personally and don't give it a bad or good label - remember, a slop shot doesn't know a human is even involved - don't get upset about a little ball that doesn't have the ability to make it's own decisions.  Don't pass judgement and also don't take them personal.

It's how you react to these instances and how you accept or not accept hiccups in matches that will make you a champion.

Practice more in your mind, if you can't get to the table.  Do something, anything - read the forums, watch videos, read books, learn.  Practicing and confidence aren't about getting to the table and putting in hours, it's also about running out a game of 9-ball in your head once a week to keep you on your toes.  Remembering the key matches you have had.  

You can't change the future, don't worry about expectations.  The only expectations you should have are your own - set your goal each tournament, reach for them.  Don't let things bother you - only you can control what bothers you.  

That Loving Feeling

I played in an 8ball Scotch Doubles tourney last weekend.  And it felt SO GOOD!

Although I have played in two other weekly 8ball tourneys since May, for some reason, this day felt wonderful to be back on the table.  I felt like I hadn't played in ages, and I just so love me some good 8ball!

Many people congratulated me on our Women's Team National Champ win and I could hear whispers as I played, but I didn't feel pressure, I felt, dare I say, a little powerful?

When I won the ACS State in October, afterwards I felt like I was under a microscope.  I felt like everyone expected me to automatically win all my league matches and the weekly tourneys.  I put SO much pressure on myself to play up to par that everyone expected of me, because I won that tourney.   Instead, I faltered.

Most people are aware that it is tough to repeat another big win right away after your first win, or sometimes to even play really well right after.  You FEEL so much pressure on yourself, that it's tough to accomplish another big win immediately.

I have witnessed this with my own eyes.

Back in 1999 in Florida, a fellow competitor won a Ladies Spirit Tour event.  Everyone was elated for her; it was her first tourney win!  In the very next event, however, she got in the loser's side right away and many people discussed that this was actually quite normal - it would be tough for her to place well again right away; it's a lot of pressure.  And sure enough, after some time had passed, the pressure was lifted and she was back in the finals.

IMO, this is definitely true after your first big win.  But once you get a few wins under your belt, you feel less pressure and you feel more confident, composed, and certain. 

So, back to my weekend tourney.  I didn't feel pressure to do well.  I didn't feel like I *should* play  well b/c of my recent big win.  Instead, I felt like I *can* play well; like I'm suppose to now.

“Experience tells you what to do; confidence allows you to do it.” - Stan Smith

Back in Oct, after my win, my feelings and sensations were very different.  I felt so much pressure to play well and succeed at league and weekly tourneys.  After all, I was now a "State Champ."  People watched me play and expected me to magically not miss.  Well, *I* thought they expected that, lol.  I was a mess, really, for a while.  All the pressure of hearing over and over again "State Champ" got to me; I put too much pressure on myself.

However, hearing the whispers as I played last Saturday about being a National Champion didn't faze me.  Like I said, I was in a good place mentally and I didn't feel any pressure to play good or show that I was indeed a National Champ.  Instead, I just simply LOVED playing the game I love so much.  I enjoyed the competition and relished the congrats; instead of the kudos backfiring. I really believe that the win in Oct, my successful run in Reno, and the recent team win is helping my confidence.

BTW, my boyfriend and I only placed 4th in the Scotch Doubles tourney.  boo-hiss!