Not Afraid to Fail or Succeed - Tips

One of my friends mentioned he tried to leave a comment on my blog.  I asked him for which post, and he said the one about not seeing results.  I didn't see the comment through Blogger, but luckily he gave me the Cliff Notes version:

"It is harder to get tournament results now than it’s ever been... Players are just flat out better now than they were 25 years ago and there are so many more of them. No result is guaranteed. The guys that do consistently well are the ones who put in the work."

Good point!

However, I then keyed in on his final sentence:  “The guys that do consistently well are the ones who put in the work.”  

The reason why, is because he himself has been finishing higher than I’m used to seeing on the tour he plays on. You all know my curiosity, so of course I asked him about it (smile).

I asked him, “Does this mean you are putting in work? You are placing higher than before, and more consistently – not just lucky or random high finishes.”

I was expecting his normal witty repartee, but instead he was serious.  And the info was really eye-opening.  I'm excited to share this conversation with you all!

“I practice at the house before big tournaments. But, what has happened to me is my whole outlook has changed. I just play... Very aggressive and confident. And I don’t quit. LOL.”

“That's really awesome,” I told him. Then asked, him why he starting doing that.

He replies,

“Life... LOL. I’m not a wound-up person, so I can just concentrate on playing. I’m not afraid to shoot anything anymore because the result of any given shot means very little to my life. I know that sounds fatalistic and yet weird, but it works for me. I like playing and I like competing, but the truth is: the results mean nothing to me or my life. I used to be afraid both to fail and to succeed. Now I’m neither.”

Interesting, right?

I then asked him what made him decide to start playing that way.

He explains,

“It’s that fear thing. I used to be so afraid to fail. Now I’m not. And, truth be told, I’m a more talented and polished player now at age 51 than I have ever been.” (he has great fundamentals he’s worked on for years and they are very solid now.)

I prodded more, “Did you wake up and realize that? Or just figure that out one day?”

He said,

“It just kinda happened. No figuring. It just seemed silly to be afraid to lose a pool game. Or afraid to win one for that matter. Funny thing is I still have little moments of crisis of confidence. But they don’t last long and the balls keep going in whether I have them or not. No explanation for that. 

Observation about confidence: Am I playing well because I’m confident or am I confident because I’ve reached a predictable level of playing well??

Hmm, good internal questions.

I then asked him one final thing about this really intriguing discussion, “How long ago did this change in thinking start?”

“Let’s see. I guess I really first felt it about a year ago. Maybe around the time I realized I was at a terrible job with not much hope for better.  I just know that when I turned my life over to a certain feeling of resignation it carried over to my pool playing and all fear was gone. No fear of losing, no fear of embarrassment, and no fear of winning even. It somehow freed me to just play. And to play a style that I enjoy. Because I was resigned to the fact that none of it really mattered.”

He added, “I doubt that makes sense.”

Actually, it does.  And SO wanted to share this with you all.  Enjoy!

Be Leery of Giving/Receiving Compliments

I believe it was in February when a friend of mine was playing a scotch doubles tournament. I don't like to ask my friends how they are doing during a tournament, because if they are losing, the last thing they want to do is share that info, lol. Right? Talk about a Debby Downer, haha. So, instead, I deliberately and intentionally send generic, but positive comments to show my support.

So I sent her a sweet text (because I'm sweet like that - hey, don't laugh!). I didn't ask her how it was going, instead I simply told her I hope it was going well and that she was having fun. Oh, and I asked her who her partner was.

She replied, "Thanks for checking on me! I am playing with BB.* " 

I asked her BB's last name, as I wasn't sure which BB it was.  She tells me and then says, "He knows you...but you are famous...so no surprise there. "

I replied, "Omg, you're silly, lol. Have fun!"

But in my mind I was doing cartwheels! It was the BB I knew and he is a fantastic player!  I was SO excited for her to be playing with a top-notch bar table player. I knew they had a great chance to win.

She said she was suppose to be playing with someone else, but he backed out on her.  I told her, "Good! You will have fun with BB."

Continuing my focus on the fun part of playing pool (i.e. no pressure).

She shared, "I'm having a great time... and we are shooting good together!!"

Well, "duh" I said to myself. She already plays jam up and so to add a scotch partner who also plays jam up, it's like Christmas in July!

The next day she told me they won - went undefeated!  I knew they made a great team, but did you notice I never told her that?

Come on, did you?

I hope so, because that's the point of this blog post.

Sometimes giving compliments can affect our game. We can get OVER-confident which can affect our routine and then we miss more. Further, overly confident thoughts and expectations can fill our head - which is a distraction and takes way from our game.

Just like negative emotions can interfere with our performance, so can highly positive comments.

I have played a lot of matches and lost because I was too confident. It's a weird thing that happens to us, but it does.

Players have actually used this as a sharking technique. A player may deliberately comment to their opponent during a match how well they are playing, because that might distract them from being in the zone. It causes the opponent to start being more conscious about how well they are playing, and then they start to miss.

Of course, the other obvious reason I didn't show my excitement for them as a great scotch team is because that can sometimes add pressure.

Sheesh, Melinda, can we say anything to our friends?

Lol.  YES!

But just remember any distraction - good or bad - is still a distraction.

So, my advice is to wait until after a tournament to give all the accolades and compliments you wish! But during or before tournaments, simply focus your support by telling them to have a good time and enjoy the game we love to play (see what I did there?).


*not real name to protect the innocent

What Can Help Your Pre-Shot Routine Under Pressure

A couple of weeks ago I was watching a stream because one of my friends was on it. I don't check them out all the time, but I get more interested when I personally know one of the players.

My friend is an up-and-coming player and I happened to catch the end of his match and watch him play a couple of games - the score was about even (5-5), so it was a close one!

As I watched him, I kept thinking to myself I needed to get a hold of this guy and help him with his fundamental! He wasn't staying down at all and he was rushing his shots. That caused him to miss a lot. He also cared more about shape than making the ball, which also caused him to miss. His body language showed he was frustrated (and maybe embarrassed, too, I'm guessing), but he was missing because he wasn't taking his time or staying down and didn't have a good pre-shot routine.

I guess I'm like the cat lady, lol, who wants to help all strays in need. She swoops them up and takes them home so she can care for them.

And that's what I wanted to with this guy! I wanted to reach out to him and ask if we can meet up so I can try and help him with this game. You know, instill in him that he needs to stay down and focus on the shot and stop rushing! He would see so much more progress in his game and faster results if he did this. I guess wish someone would have taken me aside and given me a deep cleansing lesson. So, I want to help him so he doesn't have to struggle for a long time like I did, and instead sees results sooner.

Btw, he ended up losing that match. :(

But then something happened.

I saw on Facebook a few days later that he linked to the match. So, for whatever reason, I decided to check out how he started in the match - did he take the lead first or did he make a come back or were they about even the whole time until I showed up at 5-5 when I watched it live the other day?

And what I saw is a HUGE thing that reminded me of a tip I received once that I am super excited about to share with you all!

So, what did I see? I saw that he was playing good!

Wait, what?

Yep! He was staying down on his shots, he was taking his time, he wasn't rushing, he showed less "emotion" and he was playing jam up! One of the first or second games he even ran out from the 2 ball. I was impressed!

And then it hit me.

Without even seeing the middle of the match, I can tell you what happened. Why do I know what happened in the match without seeing it in its entirety? Well, because I'm psychic. No, no, that's not it! It's because I could clearly see his mannerism and body language and shot-routine were completely different from how he started the match to what I saw the other day at the end of his match.

I don't know exactly what happened (told you I wasn't psychic) but something "negative" happened that created emotions, stress, pressure, nerves, or embarrassment, etc that got his game off kilter.

What I learned once was, when you recognize you are playing badly/off due to pressure, or if you already know you will be playing in a pressure match, you need to take a couple more strokes than usual before you shoot the ball.

This may seem counter intuitive. You might be saying to yourself, "It is counter intuitive, Melinda. Everyone knows you should have the same pre-shot routine every shot; that includes the same number of strokes." And, THAT's TRUE. However, what you are trying do to when you are nervous or upset or feeling pressure, is to get back to your usual pre-shot routine. And taking extra strokes helps you do that and slows down your adrenaline a bit because your body has slowed down.

You see, the reason why my friend was missing wasn't because he didn't know how to stay down or not rush his shots. He was missing because he felt the heat of the game or was upset about something. So, taking a few more strokes before we hit the ball gets us back into our pattern. It slows us down. And that's what he needed - to slow down, stay down, be reminded of his great pre-shot routine. Nerves and pressure causes our pre-shot routine to leap out the window. Our arms feel like jello and we keep missing and we don't know why, which frustrates us even more. But, taking extra strokes before we shoot the ball keeps us down on the shot longer, which helps us from jumping up and rushing. For whatever reason, it WORKS.

I feel a little embarrassed I wanted to take my friend home and care for him like a stray, lol, when in fact he already shoots really good! Just needs to have this tool in his toolbox for when the situation arises in the future.

Don't worry, I will let him know (guess I'm still kinda like that cat lady after all).

Enjoy!

No-Pressure Playing Well

So when I spared that second time this month with my client/friend/student, I mentioned in a previous blog that I was playing really, really well.  I mean, REALLY well.  I have to admit that I am super surprised how well I am playing, for someone who hasn't played pool for an entire year.  But it shows that my pre shot routine and mechanics that I honed-in the last few years of the height of my pool journey I definitely instilled in me.  But, I also didn't just "show up" - I prepared to play my best and also ensured I was comfortable; no matter how well my mechanics are still, preparation is still part of playing your best.

But during my jam-up session, lol, I mentioned to her that maybe I should play in that scotch doubles tournament that I was invited to play in.

hmmm...

However, I already knew the answer was really no for me; maybe I just secretly wanted to point out to her that she wasn't the only one playing good that day (she was playing jam-up, too!)

But, I wanted to chat real quick about this here in my blog.

I've expressed numerous times already that it took me a very long time to (1) get the killer instinct, (2) to become mentally strong to not let things distract me when I'm playing pool, and (3) to get my pre-shot routine down firm.  I truly feel the reason it took me so long is a direct correlation of me not playing sports in school.  But that's for another blog topic.  :)

The bottom line is, I know myself and based on my past attempts the last few years at playing in tournaments, I already know that I am only mentally strong when I'm consistently competing.  Once I stopped competing, that mental toughness definitely went away for me.  As a matter of fact, I noticed it was the first thing that went away for me.

Even though the brain is a muscle, for me my muscle memory in my arms and in my pre stroke routine are still there, but not in my mental toughness.

So, back to the discussion with my friend....

She said, "You are playing really good.  Maybe you should go play in that doubles tourney?"

My response was flatly, "Yea, but I'm playing well here because I have no pressure."

This day I had no outside influence, no people watching me, no worry about invisible status, I did not have to worry about what people were thinking about me, or wonder who I *might* play next, etc.

You see the difference already?

If I was still competing, I'd be mentally strong and those worries wouldn't even enter my mind.  Instead, I would walk in the room confident with my head held high, chest out, strutting a little bit (lol), ready to play.  

So, yes I was playing really solid that day, but I also had no pressure because I'm retired.  :)

Choosing the Right Words - Scotch Doubles Invite

So as we near February, every year about this time of year, the sweetest thing starts to occur:  guys ask me to be their partner in the annual Sweetheart Scotch Doubles tournament that is held annually in Dallas around Valentine's Day.

I think it's a huge compliment that some of the players even think of me, and then ask me to play Scotch Doubles with them.

And this year was no exception.

The last two years I had to break some hearts (just kidding!) and remind the guys who invited me that I just don't really play pool anymore.

This year, I thought many more players would know this, but I still received a few inquiries about playing.  Again, it's super sweet.

However, one invite *almost* got me to play.  I said almost.

Okay, okay, I didn't really almost say yes, but I do want to share that the words he chose were pretty incredible and were probably the ONLY way I would ever even consider to play.  He said, "I know you are retired, but any interest in some no-pressure scotch doubles?"

You see - it was wasn't that he remembered/knew I retired, it was that he prefaced it with "no-pressure."  He knows I play good, but he was cognizant enough to realize that the best way for a retired athlete (no matter the sport) to play in a tournament/event would be if I felt like there was no pressure.

I was quite impressed!

And then I broke his heart, too.

Ha!

I played pool on Sunday (sparred with a student) and I played JAM UP.  Was that a sign I should actually play?  I even joked with her I should play in the scotch event, but it was just a joke.

But then I saw ANOTHER sign!  Here was my fortune cookie from yesterday:

I sent it to the guy who asked me to play no-pressure doubles and he replied, "See!"   lol

I will explain in further details in a future blog post for you all, but alas, I'm still not going to play.

But next time you ask someone to play doubles or on a team, chose your words carefully to make the most impact.  :)

Expectations by Katniss

One of the main things I disliked about competing was those damn expectations.

Expectations has been my Achilles heel for sure!

When you play someone you've beat 10 times the last 10 times you played, then you let your guard down and don't play your best when you play them again, right?  Then what happens?  They beat you!  All because you expected to win.

And that really stings.

Or, how about when you are still in the winner's side on Saturday night going into the tournament on Sunday?  The expectations you have for yourself of doing well (or scared you wont do well) affect you.  Or, how about the thoughts you have of others and their expectations of you?  OMG why do we put ourselves through this trauma!?  lol

These thoughts get in the way of us performing our best pool.

I wrote about this before, but when I was going to be playing for the hot seat the next day of a National 8-ball tournament for ACS in Vegas, I freaked myself out. When I got to my hotel room, it hit me - "omg, tomorrow I will play for the hot seat and I could be a national champion!"  I immediately started to shake and got nervous - and I wasn't even going to play until 24 hours later!

Golf and pool truly are mental sports. We can let our thoughts get away from us and then that ruins any semblance of a stroke, or we can try to tame our thoughts.

As I wrote about the other day, being mentally strong takes experience and takes putting yourself in numerous situations that make your mental toughness strong.

Just a mere two years after that debacle of not even being able to make three balls in a row because I was so nervous of the possibility of becoming a national champion and not staying in the moment, I would find myself in the finals of ACS 9-ball Nationals in Vegas.

My mental game was pretty extraordinary at that time (in my opinion) and I had no worries, concerns, or expectations.  I was thinking only in the moment completely and I simply played pool and double dipped my opponent in the finals to become a national champion!

I share that story to show you that any and all invisible expectations CAN be overcome with time, practice and experience.  I even wrote after that win, "I know in my heart that that experience two years ago of me falling apart helped me WIN the 2014 ACS Nationals Women's 9-Ball Singles event this year."

….Eeeek.….

Oh shit!

This blog post is suppose to be about Katniss, not me, so let me get on topic here, lol.  :)

Katniss played in a tournament a couple weekends ago.  She shared with me about her two losses, "In my defensive they are both great players...but I have beat them both before. So I guess I EXPECTED to beat them again."

So, she wasn't playing as tough because she expected to win again.  Doesn't this resonate with you all?!  Damn expectations lol.  She didn't have the attitude to beat her opponent 7-0 or to squeeze them like a boa constrictor (btw, this is a reference from the book Winning Ugly that I highly and always recommend), instead she played both girls on expectations instead of focusing on the game in front of her.

I'm going to sound like a broken record, but if you focus on your pre-shot routine, three balls ahead, and you stay down and follow through - there's no room in your brain to be thinking of expectations or worries or distractions. (btw, this is one of the most helpful tips I ever received in my pool journey!) It doesn't mean you're always going to win, but you're going to give yourself the best chance to win.

I've been in Katniss's situation a thousand times it seems like, and it's so frustrating to accept that the reason why you lost a match was because of the way you were thinking - not because of the way you were playing.

I appreciate her opening up to me about this, as it gives me a chance to remind folks to stay in the moment and don't think ahead and don't have any expectations (good or bad).  Remember, if you are thinking, you aren't playing pool.

Enjoying League Again

A few friends of mine have confided in me that they are dreading league because there is some drama going on.  Whether that's from players arriving late consistently, people not getting along, players getting jealous and acting up, or people not agreeing with the captain - the pulse is the same:  they aren't having fun at league and dreading going.

Every time my friends vent to me, I just smile inside and am grateful I don't have to deal with all that anymore.  It kinda reinforces my decision to not play pool.

HOWEVER!

"Oh, here comes the howevers…." you are thinking lol

However, there have been a couple of recent instances where some friends have shared they are actually enjoying pool again.

Wait, what?

Turns out, they are no longer feeling pressure and therefore they are having fun again!  They have joined teams that are about having fun, and not about trying to be in first place.  Further (and most importantly), they no longer HAVE to show up to play league, no longer feel pressure to win, and no longer have teammates that are getting on to them if they happen to lose a match.

I admit, it was a nice change of pace to hear some GOOD news about leagues and my friends renewed joy again in playing the game we all love.  :)

No Pressure Proven Well - Danielson Series

Danielson played in an 8-ball tournament back in November. 

He doesn't know 8-ball well, he didn't prepare for the event, and playing in it was a last minute decision.  And yet he finished 4th!

So, what does this prove?

It proves that feeling no pressure can do wonders for our game.

Danielson had a lot of things going for him this tournament. 

1. Since it was a last minute decision, he didn't have time to over-think about the tournament and the "what ifs." 
2. It was also an open event, and he feels less pressure in open events.  He has said, "Maybe handicaps put a weird pressure on some of of us.  If you think you're the best or the worst at a particular ranking maybe it affects your pure game and ability.  One handicap tournament I dogged my brains out cause I thought I was stealing. And not just playing pool."  While funny, it's very true!  We are too worried about what our ranking means in matches instead of playing pool.
3. He felt no pressure playing 8 ball because he doesn't know the game well.  While knowing 8 ball well is obviously an advantage, it can also make one (like me) over confident.
4. And he didn't practice:  "I put zero preparation into that tournament. I didn't play the day before and haven't played 8 ball in forever. "

Let's expand on the last point:

Sometimes we can practice too much.  Sometimes we can prepare too much.  If you think about it, if you do all these things you are suppose to do to prepare for an upcoming tournament, then when we get there we find ourselves under this invisible pressure of "I should do good, I prepared so much."  But, that mentality is actually not good.  It adds pressure to us.

I am not saying not to prepare.  But I am saying that if you put too much preparation into a big tournament, it can have reverse effects because you feel like you must do well, right?  You took all this time to prepare right before the event, so you must do well!

What I have found is the times I finish best is when I reviewed my checklists, reviewed my tabbed pages of Play Your Best Pool and Winning Ugly.  We already have our fundamentals down.  We have already been playing a lot - either in leagues or sparring.  But to over-prepare right before a tournament is not helpful.

If you are running a marathon or playing football, preparing for those physical sports is different.  Being mentally prepared for our sport is key.  Sure, playing pool keeps us consistent, but too much playing pool right before a tournament makes one think, "Well, I should do great!"

Even if you look at the preparations of the Mosconi Cup teams - you didn't see them playing pool hour after hour days on end, instead we saw them participating in team-building exercises.  Things that help their mental side.  They already know how to play pool.  And so do you!  So, don't over-prepare.

If Danielson had played 2-weeks straight of 8 ball before the tournament, I would bet money he wouldn't have placed so high.  His head would be full of options of what to do, lol, and he would be over confident.

Instead, as Danielson said after that great finish, "I never really felt any pressures yesterday. Which seems odd considering it's a game I never play and know very little about. lol."

Complaints Can Be Validation

One thing I love is when players talk to me after their tournaments.  They share things I either hadn't thought of, can relate, or can't wait to blog about!  lol.

Here is one that came up recently in a convo that I thought was intriguing and interesting, and am very excited the player said I could share.

A player who was ranked a 4 was having his best finish yet in one of the Omega tournaments recently.  I knew he would move up to a 5 pretty easily after the event, as he was finally having a good tournament.

He joked with me that very next week, "I am going to miss being a 4!"  Then confided, "No, not really, it was kinda embarrassing."

A 4 is the lowest level of the handicap scale on the Omega Tour.  It's fascinating to me that some players who are 5s WANT to be a 4 while others who are 4s see it at embarrassing.  But that's a whole 'nother blog post lol.

As we continued our convo, he shared he knew making it into Sunday of this two day tournament was going to put him in 5 territory.  He added, "Just making it to Sunday was a huge personal accomplishment for me."

Then he confessed, "It probably sounds bad - but it felt really good that one of the players I beat complained about me after I beat him... I guess it just felt kind of validating (if that makes sense)."

It didn't make sense.  Ooooooh, what did he mean by that?

So I asked, "Validating what?"

He said, "Hmmm, I don't know, I guess that I belong."

I prodded him some more, excited where this was going, "Belong where?"

He shared, "That the work I've been putting in really is improving my game.  And that I belong in the tournament - I've been playing on the tour for so long and never made it into Sunday, and that's made me question myself a bunch of times.  I've felt like I've been on the cusp for a long time, but could never put it all together."

"Bingo!  There you go!" I exclaimed.

I loved our convo.  And I am SO happy for him to have moved beyond the cusp to valid in himself he should be ranked higher, just as he thought.

While a lot of people complain about handicapped tournaments, there is a sense of pride it can bring to oneself to move from different levels.  

I am so happy for him!!

Second Day Tourney Thoughts - The Danielson Series

Danielson, like most of us, has a more difficult time playing well on Sundays of a two-day tournament.  Why?  Because there is so much more pressure on day two!

What helped me get over that hump was to stay as ever-present as I could and not think ahead.  Experience also helped - the more times I lasted until Sunday, the less pressure I felt because each time I lasted until Sunday was another success and I started to feel more comfortable.  Experience helps immensely.  (that's why I preach to play in as many tournaments as you can)

Danielson had another great finish in the November Omega tournament and I asked him how he felt going into Sunday.  I was so impressed by this thought process, I wanted to share it.

On the Omega Billiards Tour, we whittle it down from around 100 players and bring back 24 players on Sunday.

Danielson told me, "I just look at Sundays as a new 24-man tournament.  That helps any pressure I might be feeling going into day two, as I just look at it in a different way, not the continuation of a big tournament.

"24-man tournament" - that's perfect!  GREAT philosophy.  Wish I had heard this when I was competing!

Pressure on Day Two of a Tourney

Being a player for the last 25 years and also a Tournament Director for the last 15 (two Tours), I see a lot of things from experience and also from the sidelines.

One thing I see by running the Omega Billiards Tour, and have also been through myself as a player, is that some players who come back on Sunday are more nervous, more anxious and feel more pressure than they did on Saturdays.

It actually reminds me of a pro golf tournament. The unknown (less famous) players that find themselves top of the leader-board going into the weekend are interviewed by the media and hounded with questions like, "How do you feel?"   "How do you think you're going to do tomorrow?"  "What helped you today?"  Etc. 

And then Sunday comes and at the end of the day they aren't on the leader-board anymore.  They have faltered.  Mostly it's because they're not seasoned enough.  Not because they don't have the talent, but because they don't have enough seasoning, experience and enough tournaments under their belt to know how to handle all the emotions and pressure of lasting into Sunday as a leader.

Same thing happens in two-day pool tournaments.  If you aren't really seasoned yet and you find yourself on the winner side on Sunday, honestly you pretty much have a restless night.  You're thinking about the what-ifs, you're thinking about the excitement of being on the winner side still, you might be thinking about the points you're going to get and move up in the standings, etc.

STOP.

You're don't even realize it, but you're putting invisible pressure on yourself by thinking about all these things.

Just as the pro golfer on the leader-board who is no longer in the hunt late on Sunday, many players put so much pressure on themselves Sunday morning, that they don't play good pool.

All they really need is seasoning, more experiences and to position themselves into numerous Sunday finishes to be able to get used to the feelings and thoughts that come into our anxious brains the night before day two of a tournament. 

I know from painful experience the "Day Two Sorrows," lol.  For many years, I just wanted to get in the money.  Then I yearned to last until Sunday.  When I finally did, I fell on my face lol.  Then I wanted to win just a single match on Sunday.  Just one!  Then I yearned so badly to come into Sunday on the winner's side.  Then I wanted to win a match on the winner's side......

But you see....all of these humps/goals eventually happen.

It just takes time.

Took me many, many years.

It's just part of the journey.

It takes seasoning.

It takes experience.

What I wish all players to know is this:  you will feel like you failed on many Sundays of tournaments.  It's just part of the journey we all go through, though.  Please don't get discouraged.  It's just part of the process.

Good news is, the more tourneys, the more experience.  The more experience, the more winning of matches.

And you will soon be on the leader-board coming into the final round on Sunday yourself!

Links: Handling Pressure

A friend of mine confided that he doesn't understand how he can gamble and practice well, but can't seem to place high in the Omega tournaments.  Further, he's losing to people he should beat in the tourneys.

After discussion back and forth, and as I suspected, the issue was mental.  He was worried about so many things before and during tournaments, he couldn't play his best pool.

In practice there is no pressure.  If you miss the 9-ball, who sees that?  Who cares?  What effect does it really have?  What does it cost you?

It's all about perspective and not putting pressure on yourself in tournaments.

I do my ABSOLUTE best when I am not thinking ahead, have no expectations, and are "numb" about the tourney.  If I care too much, if I put too much invisible pressure on myself, then I falter.  

Overcoming nerves and playing in the moment are the best feelings in the world during competition!

Back to my friend:  

I gave him several links to read, and wanted to share them with you all today.  

Further, after one of the American Billiard Radio podcasts, we got a request!  It's right along this same topic and so sharing these links is timely.  The listener asked:

"Can a podcast be done on how to deal with the mental game during a tournament? I got done last week playing in my local tournament and I did well. However this week when I went to the same tournament I did horrible and feel that my mental game wasn't there and I also was overthinking and second-guessing most of my shots. It seemed like my nerves got the best of me and I wasn't able to properly focus on my game and play the way I should be."

I could restate what I wrote in these blogs, but instead, I suggest if you are frustrated with playing well during practice and then you're not performing well in tournaments, or you are not consistent during tournaments, that you find some time to read each one in a quiet place to reflect.... so you can help yourself:  

• http://pooljourney.blogspot.com/2011/04/title-tournament-jitters.html
• http://pooljourney.blogspot.com/2011/04/awesome-email-exchange-handling.html
• http://pooljourney.blogspot.com/2015/10/how-to-get-rid-of-embarassment-feelings.html
• http://pooljourney.blogspot.com/2010/05/overcoming-nerves.html
• http://pooljourney.blogspot.com/2014/05/my-brain-finally-shut-off.html

Here is my friends "report" after reading the blogs and then playing his next Omega tournament:

Thank you for your help.. I will continually read those articles. I really believe they helped!

I saved them for future reference :)

It helped me with the difference between goals and expectations.  Goals are good...  My goal is to be a better player and cash in tournaments... expectations usually set me up for a fall, tho. 

If I play well leading up to a tournament, I have the expectation of doing well in the tournament which normally goes badly.. 

So now my only expectation is to do my best with the opportunity that I'm presented..

And getting rid of those other expectations helped turn my brain off.

I was so happy for him!  And I noticed he defeated a few top players and his losses were all close that weekend, even before his "report."

I am hopeful after we talk about this topic on a future podcast that we will get a report back from the other player, too, who wrote in.  :)

I think as we play more tournaments, we figure a lot of things out about what the feelings of pressure do to us.  Why are arms get wobbly, why our pre-shot-routine goes out the window, why we can't think clearly, etc.

What we learn is:

• Feeling nerves means we care!  
• Taking deep breathes slows down your adrenaline.  
• Staying in the present is your best friend.
• Not looking around at the crowd is key.
• Focusing on 3-ball shape helps your brain from being distracted.
• Goals are good, make them reasonable.  For example, "stay down on all my shots," in lieu of "last until Sunday."
• So what if I miss?  It wont be the end of the world and my friends will still care about me.
• Winning or losing doesn't define me.

Enjoy reading the links!

:)

Do You Influence with Info?

I have been working on a the last couple of months looking into adjusting a few players' handicaps on the Omega Tour to reflect more their known ability.  This would take place starting with the new 2017 Season in January.

After careful and many discussions, the Board and I decided after research and evaluation, that the Fargo Ratings are the best way to go.

I had been losing sleep over all the complaints about certain players and wanted to do something about it, and using the Fargo Ratings is the way to go.  Every person the Board considered moving up did indeed move up when we looked at the cut-offs for the handicaps for the Fargo Ratings compared to the Omega Tour.  It was quite remarkable.

And as one player told me,

"Players will complain about anything. But the biggest complaint I always heard about the handicapping for Omega before was that there wasn't a set methodology to determining a players handicap.  Now there is, so it'll come down to them whining about Fargo and not the decision makers on the tour.  There are some people who moved around but I think overall they were all moves in the right direction."

I had known about this new change (using Fargo Ratings) and had a lot of background information provided by Mike Page of FargoRate and was ready to announce this but wanted to wait until after the Season Finale so we could flush a few more things out and get some graphics that explained well the system/criteria.

But there I was Sunday morning of the Omega looking around the room and saw a few key players that I knew would be moving up come January.

I knew I wouldn't say anything to them, but I DID wonder what effect that would have had on them?  Would they have be consumed that they were going up in Jan and in-consequence not perform that well by being distracted by the news?  Or, would the info propel them to try even harder this one last event at a lower ranking?  (that's pressure in itself, tho, and can back-fire)

One player told me after he finished the tourney that he things it will push him harder to do well being ranked higher (as he knows he needed to be moved up).

Still - interesting, huh?

Such a mental game!  And I didn't want to affect the players in any way with the new news.

The Best Person for the Clutch Job (Part 4 of 4)

== Skip this section if you have read the Intro and Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 already ==

What I have learned through watching, learning, judging, and listening, is the clutch player may not be the person on the team that you would "expect" to be the clutch.  There are good reasons why, we just aren't privy to those reasons.

What are the characteristics of a clutch player?  Who do you want it to be?  Do you have a person on the team who can be all you envision for that important role?

What if you don't have a well-rounded player on your team?  What do you do then?  Let's examine some examples I have witnessed in my 20+ years of playing in leagues.

I will put them in separate blog entries so you wont be reading one long blog post for hours on end, lol.

== Part 4 Below ==

On another team, I joined late in the season and I noticed right away that the best player was not in the clutch position every week at league.  The better player had recently had a fantastic previous 18 months winning state league events and big tournaments, yet he wasn't the clutch player for the team.

I asked him why and he said he didn't know and he was curious himself. 

Turns out the "original" clutch player had been in that position on the team for years (this other player had joined for the first time that season).

I was actually hurt FOR my friend.  And I could tell it stung a little for him, as well.

But, what we didn't know was the clutch teammate was a great pressure player, and could handle mentally any losses for the team (if that happened).

I think the Captain felt if he was removed from the clutch position, it would affect his game.  Because leaving him in the position actually gave him a lot of confidence.

And with the already-strong team, honestly either player could have been put in that position.

Ironically, the better player would win a lot more matches before we ever even found ourselves hill-hill that often.

Oh, and we won the playoffs with this team :)

==

(You can find Part 1 here, Part 2 here, and Part 3 here.)
 

The Best Person for the Clutch Job (Part 3 of 4)

== Skip this section if you have read the Intro already ==

What I have learned through watching, learning, judging, and listening, is the clutch player may not be the person on the team that you would "expect" to be the clutch.  There are good reasons why, we just aren't privy to those reasons.

What are the characteristics of a clutch player?  Who do you want it to be?  Do you have a person on the team who can be all you envision for that important role?

What if you don't have a well-rounded player on your team?  What do you do then?  Let's examine some examples I have witnessed in my 20+ years of playing in leagues.

I will put them in separate blog entries so you wont be reading one long blog post for hours on end, lol.

== Part 3 Below ==


We see players trying to make balls into holes with cuesticks and yet we have NO IDEA their background.

I was confused why a certain player on another team was the clutch player.

She wasn't the best pool player on the team.  I didn't understand why the captain would even think of that, or put the team in that position.

This is where I incorrectly judged someone. 

Turns out I had no idea this particular player was a seasoned sports player already.  And while her sport in high school and college was not billiards, the years of experience in the other sports had prepared her mentally to easily be the clutch person for her team.

She knew how to handle "pressure" and she LIKED to be put in that position for the team.   And, it worked out perfectly because no one else on the team wanted that responsibility.

She knew she could handle any loss for her teammates and she also was able to handle herself mentally for the situation of hill-hill games in a playoffs or championship titles.

I no longer question team decisions :)

Taught me a lesson here for sure.

==

You can find Part 1 here, and Part 2 here. 

The Best Person for the Clutch Job (Part 2 of 4)

== Skip this section if you have read the Intro and Part 1 already ==

What I have learned through watching, learning, judging, and listening, is the clutch player may not be the person on the team that you would "expect" to be the clutch.  There are good reasons why, we just aren't privy to those reasons.

What are the characteristics of a clutch player?  Who do you want it to be?  Do you have a person on the team who can be all you envision for that important role?

What if you don't have a well-rounded player on your team?  What do you do then?  Let's examine some examples I have witnessed in my 20+ years of playing in leagues.

I will put them in separate blog entries so you wont be reading one long blog post for hours on end, lol.

== Part 2 Below ==


On another team, when I wasn't able to play on certain nights, another good player on our team was put in the clutch position.

While she was a good player, she didn't have much experience in that position.

So, she would get so much anxiety about /possibly/ having to play the hill-hill game, that it affected all her other games during the night.

Our team needed her to still win all her games before it ever came close to hill-hill, but instead she was constantly looking at the score for what "could happen" and the anxiety was affecting her play.

The ironic thing was, if she was to have not been so worried about her "possibly" having to perform in the hill-hill game for the team, she could have won more games and the team wouldn't have been in hill-hill situations as much.

I suggested to the captain to put her in the clutch position a lot during regular league nights even when I was there, so she could get acclimated to it.  That's how I learned to handle the "pressure" - I was put in the position a lot and learned through all the experiences.  That really does help.

==

You can find Part 1 here.

The Best Person for the Clutch Job (Part 1 of 4)

== Skip this section if you have read the Intro already ==

What I have learned through watching, learning, judging, and listening, is the clutch player may not be the person on the team that you would "expect" to be the clutch.  There are good reasons why, we just aren't privy to those reasons.

What are the characteristics of a clutch player?  Who do you want it to be?  Do you have a person on the team who can be all you envision for that important role?

What if you don't have a well-rounded player on your team?  What do you do then?  Let's examine some examples I have witnessed in my 20+ years of playing in leagues.
I will put them in separate blog entries so you wont be reading one long blog post for hours on end, lol.

== Part 1 Below ==


On one particular women's team, the best player was not playing in the clutch position.

I was shocked to not see her name in the final spot on the team roster in playoffs.

However, I would find out that she would rather not be in the position of so much pressure for her team.

FURTHER - she plays BEST for the team because she's not in the "pressure" position.  Which is what every team needs - players playing their best at all times.

But if you look at this from the outside, what you wonder is, "why isn't she the clutch player?  She's the best on the team!"

But if you found out she played better in all her matches by not being the clutch player, then it makes perfect sense.  And, that IS what is best for the entire team.

The Best Person for the Clutch Job (Intro)

(Intro to Part 1 of 4)

What I have learned through watching, learning, judging, and listening, is the clutch player may not be the person on the team that you would "expect" to be the clutch.  There are good reasons why, we just aren't privy to those reasons.

What are the characteristics of a clutch player?  Who do you want it to be?  Do you have a person on the team who can be all you envision for that important role?

Many of us have played under pressure.  But can we still perform well under pressure?  THAT is the key.  Sometimes the best pool player on a team doesn't play well in certain circumstances (yet).  Sometimes a great pool player cannot handle the pressure of having their play and decisions rest on their shoulders for the entire team.

I fully admit it's a lot to handle.

Here is my story:

I have gained so much experience being put in this position, that I now prefer to be the clutch person and can handle it.  I can handle losses now for the team without jumping off a bridge, lol;  I use a breathing routine to calm my nerves and adrenaline; I have more solid fundamentals; I have been in the clutch position during very big tournaments numerous times; and I am just now an over-all better pool player (finally).

All those combined have led to women's teams choosing me as the clutch person.  Which I embrace and welcome.

But what if you don't have a well-rounded player on your team?  What do you do then?  Let's examine some examples I have witnessed in my 20+ years of playing in leagues.

I will put them in separate blog entries so you wont be reading one long blog post for hours on end, lol.

So, tomorrow will be Part 1, the first example. 

More About Pressure and Comparisons

I wrote just yesterday about pressure.  Explaining that I was a photographer at a wedding for a friend, and how that was so much more pressure than playing in a tough match!

I received an email asking to explain what I meant, maybe give some examples if I had any.

Boy, do I!

I guess what I was trying to say was if we feel pressure when we are in a tight match or title tournament or against a tough player, try and remember other times in your life that were MUCH tougher and full of "deeper" pressure. 

There is something to be said for comparing situations from our past.  It can actually help you.

As you are in an important match and can feel your chest tighten, your adrenaline going crazy, your breathing is super fast, and you are missing some shots and feeling embarrassed, try and think to yourself:  is this embarrassment or is this match really so tough that I'm letting pressure affect my play?

As we all know, when pressure affects us, we don't stay down as well, we tighten our grips, we shoot too fast, and we lose our control of our fundamentals which causes us to miss, which causes us to fret, and then get embarrassed, and then we just well, continue to go downhill.

I have written about many things that can help:

• Slow down your adrenaline with very deep breaths,
• Get mad at yourself for missing,
• Enjoy that you get to even play pool and have this opportunity,
• Focus on your fundamentals profoundly,
• Exaggerate your stroke,
• Try and turn any negatives into positives,
• Realize pressure just means you care,
• etc.

But what I hadn't shared before is to compare the pressure to what you have already been through in your life.  Some pressure times or scary times, or overwhelming times in your life that you made it through.  Pressure from playing pool?  pfffft.  Try giving birth!  Compare that - hey, if I can pop out two kids, this is easy!  Or, for those of us who have witnessed a loved one take their final breath?  I have, and I can tell you that is much more traumatic than any pool match.  Or how about finding a loved one passed away?  Yep, done that as well.  That is very traumatic also and I don't wish it on anyone.  Have you been through a really bad car accident - wonder how you even survived?  What about a super bad divorce?  Remember how painful it was yet here you are today just fine afterwards?  Maybe you've been in jail - how scary!  Well, all these things are situations you can try to "compare" the adrenaline of the pressure you are feeling in middle of a match.  It will calm you down to realize/remember you have survived and been through SO much already.  Pool?  pfffft.  This pressure you are feeling in a match is NO match to real life stuff. 

So remember those tough times you survived while you can't breath in a pool match from all the pressure.  It will ironically help you release some of the pressure you are feeling so you can play good pool!

Different Kinds of Pressure

I was honored to be the photographer for a friend's wedding last weekend.

I found out that's SO much more stress than any tourney I could ever try to win lol.

Trying to capture a very special day for them, and to ensure I get their memories on camera and don't screw up sure is a lot of pressure, lol.  MUCH MORE than playing pool.

That is a friendly reminder that it's important sometimes in the middle of playing pool when you feel so much pressure in your chest and through your veins, that pressure is what you make it. 

Is it /really/ that much pressure?  Sure, feeling pressure means you simply care!  But, if you can relate it to other pressures in your life you've had, it can release some stress and adrenaline in the middle of a match.

Try it.  You'll like it.