Katniss - Pool Shark?

From Katniss:

Someone told me, "I heard you are a pool shark."

I looked around and asked, "Are you talking to me?" 

He said, "Yes," 

I said, "No I’m not." 

He replied, "Well everyone is telling me you are."

I was persistent with my 'no,' even though I ran out and beat him.

My thought process was this:

A pool shark is someone who engage in sharking in billiards, that a player who distracts an opponent by means of vocalizing (talking crap) or with movement on purpose. Or a person who hustles people for money. 

His thought process was:

A pool shark refers to a player who is very well skilled. 

He explained to me that I played very well...not only against him, but in all of my games. I told him thank you 

So MAYBE I am a pool shark after all! 

Work on Your Pool Game During Pandemic

First off, I hope all of you are doing well. I bet you feel like I do, like the pandemic has hijacked our lives.

Besides the upheaval of our normal lives, what about my pool game??

Because it's important to do activities that lower stress and anxiety, it goes right along with some ideas I wanted to share to keep your game up while you might be required to "Stay-At-Home" due to the pandemic.

If you don't have a table at home:

• Work on your stroke by trying to get your cue tip consistently into a coke bottle. This can be done at home without a pool table.
• Run a rack in your head. Imagine yourself breaking, then staying down for each shot and try to run out. Use English and get good shape, all in your mind, all as you try to run the entire rack in your head. Warning, this isn't easy! And don't just run the rack fast in your head, but run it with dedication to each shot. Give each shot the attention it deserves (just like on a pool table). This is a great technique to imagine your pre-shot routine on every shot, stay down, and helps train your brain to focus.
• Speaking on running racks. One the most helpful things I like to do (and my most favorite) is to think about is that one particular game of a match that I stayed down so well on every shot, in front of a crowd, making all shots with a smooth stroke, feeling calm and confident. Maybe that time you were 'in the zone." You can picture your own certain match/game right now, right? Really focus on it and remember the feelings, the sounds, how your shoulders were not tight because you didn't feel pressure, you stayed down really well, smooth stroke, you felt good, etc. Thinking about your own great game or match you played well, helps solidify your pre-shot routine (I promise!).
• Use dumbbells regularly to build your arm muscles.  This helps your stroke be more solid.
• Watch matches on YouTube. Search billiards. Or maybe check out the CSI YouTube Channel which will keep you busy for DAYS.
• Oh, hey - read part of those pool books you haven't ever opened. Or, if you don't have one, finally order one online!
• I would also reach out to pool friends. We may not talk about pool, but with league paused and tournaments delayed, it's important to connect with our pool friends.
• If you have an extra billiards towel or fabric, make your face mask out of it! Show your love of our sport.

If you have a table at home:

• Practice "Carom Nine" (see rules at bottom of this page). Helps you learn carom shots in a fun yet frustrating way, lol. (basically, the object ball must make first contact with the cue ball to count as a legal shot, the goal being to carom the object ball into a pocket or into another ball.)
• This is a good time to work on your break. Practice it. Get it down pat. It's the opening shot - it's an important part of the game a lot of us don't give enough attention to.
• Speaking of breaks, practice your break using different racks if you have them - magic rack, accu-rack, and also regular wooden/plastic racks from the pool room.  
• Play opposite handed. That's fun!
• Play one-handed. Even tougher!

I know there are a ton other things, but hopefully this gets you started to ease stress AND work your game.

Stay safe my friends! We will get through this together.

New City, New Pool - with a Caveat

One of my friends, who I met about 20 years ago when we joined the same team, has not been playing pool lately.  She might occasionally play at a local jaunt on a Friday night to show the big ego guys a chick can play, lol, but she hasn't played league in a few years.  Mostly because of the drama associated with the leagues she was on - either between players or how the leagues were run.

My friend is moving to a new city, and I mentioned to her that maybe because she was moving to a new location, did she happen to have interest to join a league in the new area?  She is very talented and really enjoys playing.  I told her there are some good pool rooms around her, and she wouldn't really know everyone, and it would be a change of scenery, change-of-pace, new league operators, and away from the previous drama that she had been around in her home town.

I honestly thought she was going to say no.

Instead, I was pleasantly surprised when she said she had actually thought of this also! However, with a caveat - she made it a point to say she wouldn't join any leagues at pool rooms.  

I was intrigued!  

So, even though I'm super shy and never one to press or ask prodding questions (yeah, right Melinda, lol!), I asked her what she meant.  And of course you all know what that means next - I want to write about it!  

My friend had played in some leagues that didn't care about the players. She was burned by them, and it has stuck with her. Also, she has had some bad luck dating career pool players. Hmm, I can attest to that, also, so you can throw me into that club, too, lol.

So, therefore, she doesn't want to play in big leagues or be around career players. Being a single, pretty, female who can play pool, the career pool players hit on her a lot, but they aren't the type of guys she is interested in. She explained that it's less stressful, less drama, and honestly a lot more fun to play pool out of bars instead of leagues in pool rooms. She expanded, "I would rather meet real people who happen to enjoy pool...and that happens in the bars that don't cater to [certain leagues]."

It was a different and interesting perspective, one I hadn't thought of.

Reveal: Blue or Pink?

If I can share something with you all (in confidence of course, right?), I do not understand the gender reveal thing that has gone viral the last few years.  Maybe if I was in my fertile age wanting to have kids, it would make more sense to me.  Or, maybe if I had any friends who were prego, I would understand more.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's interesting and different, I just grew up in a different era where this didn't happen.

I have seen car smoke colors, release of balloons, cake cutting, etc, but I have to admit that when I saw the gender reveal of Sky Woodward's child-to-be with his girl Ashlee, it got me excited!  So, maybe that's what was needed!  A connection to something I love (pool) to make sense about the reveals.

I thought that was super cool!!  What did they do?

Check out the photos!

Congrat's to Sky and Ashlee - baby boy coming in April 2021!

When Pool Chalk Saves Your Life

My very dear friend, Julie Collins, is extremely special to me.  She's one of those friends that because of her caring actions and beautiful choice of words, makes you feel deeply loved.  She has made an impact on my life in ways I can't express - I learn a lot from her and adore her.

I wrote about her a couple of times before in my pool blog (see this link and then also this link) and we try to meet up about once a year to do something fun and memorable - me not playing pool anymore wont keep us apart!

My dear friend was in a pickle back in the Summer.

Luckily, she is extremely resourceful!

Let me set the scene and share her words from social media:

She was driving home and her A/C went out in the car.  It didn't matter she had a convertible - it was early July and it was a very hot day with not a cloud in the sky, and no wind or breeze either.

And then she ran into this:

Turns out there was a bad accident many miles ahead of her (an 18-wheeler on the Interstate was engulfed in flames), so there was a long backup.  Everyone who was driving northbound on I-35 that day in North Texas was being diverted to another highway, which caused extreme traffic (as you can see in her photo above).

What do you notice about her photo, though?  Is there something you see out of the ordinary?

Yep, she took the photo from the side of the road.

What was she doing there?

Here is her story:

 She posted this very 'soft' post on her FB page:

"Got stuck on the Interstate. The closure is due to fire. Both myself and my car were overheating. I'm being transported back to my home base by this kind constable.

If I'd been unable to get under an overpass, I might have, literally, been toast!'

The reason I say it was a 'soft' post was because she didn't exclaim or scream or overreact about the situation - she simply shared, very calmly, what happened to her, and that she was thankful for something.  I really love this about her - she shares, but doesn't overreact or even draw any unnecessary negative attention to herself (ever). Even though in reality she had been in dire straits this day!

Btw, this was her next photo, her rescuer - The Constable!

It seems like she could easily be being hauled off in cuffs in the back of that police car, lol, but no, no - instead, he saved her!

I am going to share now her exact comments to friends who commented and asked questions, so you can see what truly happened to her that day, what a scary situation it really was, and how this all relates to pool:

"He [the Constable] heard the call someone needed help and drove down the wrong side of the closed freeway to reach me."

Someone ask her how her car was: 

"The car will be fine. I stopped in that shade when I saw my situation."

Another friend exclaimed "Thank goodness you were rescued!" To which she replied and shared: 

"Yes! I'd already resorted to writing on a paper plate with a cube of pool chalk to get cold water bottles from people who were creeping by. I'd stopped in the last shade I was aware of and wouldn't risk going further, then having it stop again completely, which it did."

Another friend complimented her on being so resourceful. She replies:

"I wasn't too proud to call for help. It could've gotten bad really quick. After people gave me ice cold water and I cooled off my brainstem, I decided I'd be better off ANYWHERE else."

I asked her how she was feeling and figured it had to be scary, to which she confided openly to all: 

"I love you too, Melinda. I am feeling better, and it WAS scary. I'd gotten to where my fingers were tingling, my head was dizzy and my arms and knees were weak. It could've gone really wrong, and I'm very thankful for the folks who jumped out and handed me ice cold water bottles. I used them as cold compresses on my brainstem, and poured them over me as well, lol. Before bed I took a long salt bath to help replenish myself.

That experience really has me rethinking driving this car anywhere long distance this summer, during the heat of the day."

And after the many thank you's to everyone for the sincere concern and glad she was okay, she ended with: 

"Spent the day very glad that I had that cube of pool chalk!!"

💙

Us too, Julie. Us, too.

Additional Tiffany Hardware

Well, Tiffany and Co is at it again!

You might remember back in July 2016 when I wrote about Tiffany and Co having a sterling silver rack for sale (~$1,000).

Well, they have upped their inventory!

If you love their shade of blue, then you will love these new items!

The rack is oak with a sterling silver accent/removable sterling silver plate you can personalize (nice touch). Along with it, custom-made Tiffany Blue® pool balls.  $1,500.

And they have also added to their collection sterling silver Tiffany Blue® chalk.  Only $195 if you want to give gifts to your pool playing friends that you really really love.

Sleep Tips From Pool

I was talking to a coworker a few months back about my problems not getting enough sleep.  He had a suggestion that I wanted to pass on to you all.  Maybe it will help one of us out!

He is a golfer and I related his suggestion to pool.

He said what he does when he can't fall asleep is he thinks of a past golf match.  He added, "because I'm not thinking of actions or what to do, it calms me down and I fall asleep."

I have written before how imagining running out can help our pool game when we can't get to the pool table, but I hadn't considered thinking of a previous pool match to help me fall asleep.  I suppose that is better than counting sheep!

Let me know if this works for you.

Playing Pool For Fun? Uh, no.

I was talking to a new coworker the other day, who has only been employed at my office for about 8 months, but been with our company for about 15 years. He had no idea I used to play pool and he was very intrigued because he plays golf. As we all know, the sports are very similar.  Further, he plays in tournaments on weekends and is a pretty good player for an amateur (hey, just like me!).

During our convo, he asked me something unusual, and as soon as he asked it, though, I immediately knew something about his golf game.  And when I gave him my answer, he immediately knew something about my pool game.

He asked me if I ever practiced pool for fun.

Again, I thought it was an unusual question, so I first looked at him funny, but then confidently said, "Nope."

And he replied, "Now I know you were serious about pool when you played."

And I replied, "Just by you asking that question, I also know you play a good game of golf!"

I'm not sure if I've shared this before or not, but once I became more serious about competing and also when I started to focus more on trying to make my fundamentals solid, I didn't play pool for fun anymore. I discovered it was one of the worst things I could do, was play pool for fun.

By that I mean, I either practiced with intention, or played in league and in tournaments ONLY; I no longer played pool for fun.  I wouldn't ever again, say, play for fun on a Friday night with a couple of friends that weren't pool players.

In other words, if I'm at the pool room on a Friday night and I happened to be playing pool, I'm usually doing a race, maybe gambling, maybe there for a tournament, or hitting balls to get ready for a tournament (ie practicing). But you would never have seen me in the previous 10 years just having fun with friends drinking and playing pool.

Why?

Well, when I would be out having fun with friends at the pool room, it would cause me to resort back to my old tendencies of two-stroking and jumping up on my shots. Let's face it, it had been difficult enough for me to stay down on my shots and follow through, and being in an atmosphere where there wasn't competition, I didn't even try to stay down or follow through; I was having fun with friends.

And anyway, who wants to hang out with a friend who is trying to be super serious at pool? They would rather be joking and drinking and catching up anyway.

I had put so much time and energy into my game, I didn't want to put myself in situations that set me back.

What do I mean by set me back?

Well, I found this out the hard way:

Once my fundamentals started to get better, if I went out to the pool room for fun and drinking with friends (who don't play pool), I noticed at my next practice session I had some fine tuning to work on because I had flubbed up my fundamentals. Figured it was fluke, so of course I went out and had fun again a few weeks later on another night lol. And what to do you know - same thing happened: my mechanics got messed up.

My fundamentals weren't solid yet, so any time I played where I wasn't serious, was a detriment to my game.

Seriously.

You see, I was finally always working on my game. You may not have seen it, you may not have known it, but if you saw me on a table in the last 10 years I was either trying to stay down, trying to focus on three-ball shape, trying to walk 'into my shots,' working on shape, trying to learn... all that type of stuff. So why would I possibly want to take steps backwards?

Okay, okay.... don't be sitting there thinking I didn't have fun lol. I did have a lot of fun! I went out a lot still - I just didn't play pool when I did go out and have fun.

I remember also that when I traveled for my job, people would always try to get me to play pool after work. It was always difficult to explain I just wasn't interested. Even if I gave the excuse I didn't bring my cue (which I didn't travel with unless I was playing in a big tournament), they would say, "Just use a house cue, come on!"

Nope.

Again, playing for fun when I was trying to improve and work on my fundamentals was a step backwards for me. I wasn't using the same muscle memory when I was having fun. Why? I was focused on laughing and joking and drinking with non-pool playing friends. Those nights just weren't the proper times to be working on my game.

And btw, this proved extremely beneficial to me. Because even when I play pool now, I am surprised just how solid my fundamentals are and good I am still playing, though I hardly play pool and haven't competed in over 2 years.

Now, go check your fun factor. Have you noticed the same thing? If so, just have fun with your non-pool playing friends at other spots that don't have pool tables. See? Simple solution. haha

Tony Robles Pool Clinics

I saw this the other day on FB and could not WAIT to share it with you all.

It's not because Tony Robles is conducting the lessons (which is super cool and he's a great instructor!). It's also not because there are several dates to choose from.

It's because each clinic is dedicated/focused on either the level of the players in the class, or certain games of pool.

I just love this!

So if we all lived in the New York area, we could take the clinic on July 19th because it's about 9ball, and then we could join the clinic on June 7th because we think we might be a beginner. Oh, and we've always wanted to dabble in straight pool, so let's take that lesson on Sept 6th.

I really appreciate the different types of clinics he is doing! Such a smart idea and SO helpful to us pool players, right?

I am so thrilled about this!

(Click image to enlarge)

That Chin!

I shared with one of Dave's good friends (Joe) one morning that initiative I announced in January, "Return the Faver."

The easiest way to explain the initiative was to simply share the link with him so he could read all about it.

He called me that afternoon and was so excited about this for Dave! He's been friends with Dave since they were kids, so this means a lot to him and he really loved the idea to keep Dave's memory in the pool world.

Then I discovered that wasn't the only blog post Joe read - evidently, he read some of my other posts.  He told me he had no idea that I played pool, lol.  Yet, he said, he could tell right away that I played well just by looking at the pictures of me.

"What do you mean?" I asked him

He shared and explained that when the cue is close to the chin, that is an automatic sign that a player shoots well. Means they have a solid stance, are usually seasoned, and normally stay down well on their shots.  As I thought about it, I did eventually get lower in my stance later in my pool journey, which helped my game go up.

I actually didn't realize my chin was so close to my cue, though, but it does reinforce what I tell people: that a player has a more solid stance and therefore are more effective if they are lower on their shots because their cue is much more level.

If you picture snooker players Allison Fisher or Karen Corr in your head right now, you automatically picture then lower near the table with their cue near their chin. Right?

Well, it's not just snooker players - check out just this one male pro I picked from the US who does the same thing:  Mr Sky:

Oh, and here's a pic of me and my chin, errr, cue:

I have to admit it was quite cute that Joe went on and on about how he had no idea how well I played and he stumbled upon it looking through my blog. It really made me smile.

A Coaching Team Name

Oh my goodness! I'm a little perturbed at myself at the moment.

All these years trying to come up with the perfect team name for the many women's teams I was on, and not ONE time did I think to come up with a team name that might be helpful to myself and my teammates for when we played! ugh.

I know, I know you are thinking, "What the heck are you talking about now, Melinda??"

I'm talking about this:

The other day a friend of mine from Canada posted a shout out about her team.  "Won our first team match, next one at 8pm. STAY DOWN let's do this!"

I asked her, "uh, is Stay Down your team name or are you coaching from Facebook, lol?"

She said it was her team name and I immediately shook my head with disgust realizing all these years I could have had clever names that could HELP me when I played in team events!  But oh no!  I wanted team names that were funny or innuendoes, instead. Like, 'Nice Rack' or 'Just the Tip' or 'No Balls', etc.

This whole time, instead, I should have had a team name like Stay Down.  That's what I needed to remember in all those pressure team matches! I can hear my teammates now, "Come on, Stay Down!"  See?  Wouldn't even seem like we were being coached because it's our team name!

Opportunity missed, dang it!

Career or Journey?

I think it's very interesting the different verbiage players choose to use when they talk about pool when it's been in their lives for a long time.  I describe it and see it as my "pool journey" and I specifically use the word journey whereas others usually call it their "pool career."

But, I think there are two very important and distinct reasons why I choose "journey."

I've never once called my pool journey a career. Why? Well, because I have a career with my day job that I've worked at since 1992. That career pays for my bills and is how I make a living. So, I'm not about to call my pool playing for 25 years a "career," because, well, it's just not true in my eyes (and hasn't paid the bills, lol).

The other reason is really more because of the relation to my blog. Yep, the one you are reading right now! I use the word "journey" instead of "career" because "journey" is in the title of my blog. So, journey naturally flows out of my mouth when I talk about my life with pool all these years. And I like to keep that connection, whether people know about my blog or not.

When I decided to start a blog, I first needed to come up with a title to even be able to sign up for one on blogger.com. After days of trying to decide on the absolute most perfect in the world best title, it finally dawned on me that in all reality, I would be writing about my journey with pool. And so there it was:  my blog officially became 'Pool is a Journey.'

Then my friend Juan helped me with the description, which is on the top of the blog.

"Living life to the fullest is a wonderful, amazing adventure; playing pool is one of the infinite paths of the adventure. This blog is about my life journey with pool."

Thank God he helped, too, because again I was struggled with the most perfect best words of the universe to use/choose and my brain was hurting from all the choices, lol.

I do wonder sometimes if I hadn't chose "journey" in the title of my blog, what word would I be using now instead when I talk about my life with pool?

Things that keep you up at night, too, huh?

Goals Aren't Just for Yourself

I love learning!

And when I stumbled across this, I was like, Heck yea that's a great idea!

And of course I wanted to share with you all :)

Even though I saw this in October, it was more relevant for the beginning of the year.  So, I've kept it in my hip pocket for a few months, waiting for this very day in early January.  Why?  Yep, because it's about GOALS!

I saw this on professional golfer Justin Thomas' Instagram account and really, truly loved what he said.  SO glad he share this with everyone!

If you can't enlarge the photo below, here is what he said:

"Every year/season my team and I come up with goals for the year... it’s something I’ve always found important. A few goals that are very attainable, some that are going to require some hard work, then some that are extremely difficult. I ask every person in my on course team (caddie, dad, putting coach), to make a their own list. This keeps us all accountable the entire year that everybody is doing what they should be doing on and off the course to make sure we are as ready as possible every time I tee it up. Time to get started on next years list! (And no I will not share it until the season is over 😜😜) I challenge you guys to make your own list of goals and see how many you can achieve!"

Now, I would think at some point in my pool journey that at least one of my teams would have had a goal of some sort.  For as many teams as I have been on, there had to have been some goal as a team like, "finish better than last year" or maybe "up or stats" or something.  I just honestly can't remember.

But what I like MORE about what he shared was this part:  "I ask every person in my on course team (caddie, dad, putting coach), to make a their own list. This keeps us all accountable the entire year that everybody is doing what they should be doing on and off the course to make sure we are as ready as possible every time I tee it up."

Seriously, how fantastic is that?!  I just love the whole concept.  It's not just individual goals or even team goals, it's goals for each person FOR THE TEAM.

BTW, here are his results of the goals for 2017-2018:  I admire this because he didn't have to be this open with everyone, but I am glad because we are all learning from him:

(click to enlarge)

Maybe this is obvious in parts of our lives already, or maybe it's just the way he stated about accountability for everyone to be ready as part of the team that I loved.  But whatever it is about this just made me smile; and I love it!    

And, I waited until now to share it in case you wish to employ this for your pool team, work group, goals for the who family, etc, starting out the new year.

BTW, Justin Thomas' Instagram account is really cool - not all about golf, and some funny things.  Plus, he shares why he might not have won some events and should have.  I highly recommend it.  

Enjoy!

Cake Too Good to Eat?

Gabby is a teammate of a friend of mine in Houston who happens to make phenomenal custom cakes (and cookies, and cupcakes, etc.). She custom made this and it looked even more amazing in person I was told. But let's face it, even in the photo it looks pretty damn awesome!

Every detail was accounted for, right down to the Diamond decal, the cue ball return on one side, and the rack slot and ball return on the other!

You can find "Slice of Confection Cakes by Gab" on Facebook via this link.

If I'm ever in Houston and need a cake, I'm contacting this chick.  WOW!

Almost looks too good to eat.  I said *almost* lol.

Inner Turmoil Doing the Right Thing (for Myself)

One of the things we discover as we start to reach our mid 40s, is we want to be around less drama, to be around more positive and influential friends, and we want to be around people that bring us happiness.

Hold on now, folks...  This doesn't mean we haven't felt this way much of our life; we have!  But what is different as we age is we start to actually act upon different choices and decisions based on yearnings for peace.  We start to make more conscientious decisions that are best for ourselves.  Finally, right?!  For so many years we made a lot of decisions for others.

Let me provide one little, quick example.  You have a family member you hate to be around because he's so rude and obnoxious, but you continue to still go to the family functions and put up with them.  Then comes your mids 40s, and you have a epiphany about wanting less stress in your life and you realize you actually have a choice, lol.  "You know what, I'm not going to go.  I get upset for days after I see him and I simply want to have a good time around the holidays."

And btw, many decisions take time to finally make a change.  It's actually uncomfortable to start looking out for ourselves because it seems selfish.  So, it's not an easy transition at first, honestly.

My friend Dave Faver (as you all remember) passed away in May. He was a road player his entire life and I shared many things about him earlier this year when I posted the interview I did with him.

What I have been struggling with lately is Dave deserves an annual memorial tournament in his honor.  The annual "Dave Faver Memorial Tournament" or something like that.  Doesn't that sound awesome?!  And as one of Dave's best friends who happens to be a seasoned Tournament Director, it makes perfect sense that I would lead the effort to set up a memorial tournament for him and also run it every year.

He deserves that more than I can even express.  And that would also mean the world to me because he would be remembered every year (as he should be).

I've seen several memorial tournaments that have become annual events in honor of those who have passed.  And it honestly makes my heart ache because I have not done this for Dave.  But to be honest…. I cannot do this for him.

You see, this is the part of the story where I explain to you that I'm suppose to look out for myself. Which is something I only started doing recently.

What I have alluded to in my blog a couple of times is:  I don't drink anymore.  And I have not drank exactly 2 years of the posting of this blog entry (Nov 21).  Yay!

What this means is, tho, as hard as this for me to say in writing to people I don't know personally and to admit to those I do know personally, is to let you all know that I'm kinda scared to go into the pool room at certain times. I know it doesn't really make sense because, sure, I ran the Omega Tour the first year of my sobriety and I didn't drink any of those 12 weekends I was stuck in a pool room.  But, it wasn't really a choice for me - I had to be there and run the tournaments.

Running a tournament for Dave would be a dream come true for me, and you would think I could handle being in a pool room for only two full days out of a year without worrying about drinking, lol, but... I feel apprehensive.  And I need to listen to my instincts.  And I have to look out for myself and my well-being.  I'm nervous about hanging out in the pool room over two days around a lot of people drinking around the atmosphere where I used to drink frequently, often, and for numerous years.

It's not to say I would start drinking, but it's not to say I wouldn't be tempted, either.  I have always been a social drinker - I've never drank at home or by myself.  So, to do what's best for my health, my mental stability, my depression, my job, my friends, etc., I just believe it would be best if I don't put myself into situations that used to be the catalyst for excessive drinking.

You can go ahead and think that I'm weak, but literature will tell you to stay out of the element that can initiate those feelings of your addiction.

This may not make sense because you all know I go to Vegas 3 or 4 times a year (heck, I'm writing this blog post FROM Vegas right now lol!) and even though I don't have to pay for drinks there nor have to drive, I still don't drink there anymore.  So why can't I be in a pool room all day?  It's not that I CAN'T, it's that I don't want to.  In Vegas, if I feel uncomfortable or get nervous about any situation I'm in, I can just walk away.  But I get anxiety sometimes thinking about going to a pool room and being in that environment again.  Probably because I associate the pool room with me drinking too much.  And if I run a tournament for Dave, I can't just up and leave during it if I feel uncomfy.

Also, when I give/gave lessons in a pool room the last two years, I would always intentionally go in the mornings and be out of there by 1pm. You see, my drinking didn't start at night in pool rooms, it ended at night. So, I don't want to go into a pool room in the afternoons right now, either.

Even I admit I don't quite understand how I wasn't nervous about going into the pool room the first year of me not drinking, and yet now I am apprehensive about it for some reason.  I guess because I am more aware for some reason that relapses can happen in the blink of an eye, and I want to help myself by not being in situations where that might occur for me.

It may sound like I'm not having fun being sober, lol.  So I think it's important to state that I am only sharing this single trepidation of my life because it's related to my pool journey.  And btw - how cool is that??  I mean seriously, how many people have only one trepidation in their life?  I feel very blessed!

And this would be the perfect time to share something crucial: one of the fears of becoming sober (or clean) is that you wont have fun anymore.  And you may be thinking this to yourself right now about me, "Gosh, is Melinda even having fun?  She's scared to go into the pool room so how can she be happy?"  Well, I am here to tell you that I'm actually much happier than I've been in a VERY long time!  I have more fun in life and enjoy things so much more!  This isn't about the pool room making me sad - it's about the more substantial things I do now in life that bring me much more honest, memorable, and refreshing joy (drinking too much was getting in the way of those things).

Plus, there have been SO many benefits to not drinking anymore!  Read mine here if you wish.

But, if I felt like I was in a better spot mentally, I would be able to hold a Dave Faver tournament in his honor.  But, I think even Dave would understand my apprehension and would want me to do what is best for my well-being.  Dave was so very happy for me when I started down this road, and then proud of me when I reached my one year anniversary (he was still alive then) and he knew how important it was for me to remain this way.

Temptations, I feel, I must avoid.

I know plenty of people who can eventually go back into the environment of their addiction.  But right now I have a choice - and I am choosing what is best for me at the moment and I just don't want to put myself in that situation.  Maybe it means I'm not strong enough yet?  Maybe it means I just need more time?  Maybe it means I'm just trying to be careful?  Maybe it means I am glad for my decision to stop drinking and want to continue up this great path I'm on?

Whatever the reason, whether known or unknown, aware or unaware, I want to listen to myself and do what is in the best interest to stay sober.  And I know Dave and my other friends would approve. :)

I know I try to be honest in my blog, and this is may be a little too honest. But I'm hoping that maybe at least one person can relate to what I'm going through, and therefore know you aren't alone.

Perceptions During a Match

I'm sure you have heard this before where two people see or hear different things even though they both saw/heard the same thing?

Similarity, when people witness one situation (like a car accident), they all kinda reflect differently about what they saw.

Another example is if you go to a doctor's visit with a family member.  You each hear something different from the conversation with the doctor.  It's really very normal.

And of course this also carries over into pool, too.

Case in point.  I remember distinctly playing against a friend a mine from Arkansas during the Champion Stop of the Texas Ladies Tour about 8 years ago or so.  I barely got to shoot!  I only had a few chances and the biaatch kept running out!  I was pretty agitated, lol.

Afterwards, I told her, "Man, you played so good - you barely missed!"  And she lamented, "Thank you.  I didn't think I played all that great, but appreciate the kind words."

I was kinda stunned - how did she think that when I hardly got to shoot the entire match and she kept running out?

Back then, one of the guys would attend the tournaments and video tape some of our matches (we affectionately called him "Video Mike").  And we happened to have that match recorded.  I bought a copy of the video and watched the match when I got home and I was STUNNED.

She didn't run out one game!  I had plenty of chances!  I just didn't play well and she played better, but she missed a lot too.  How in the heck did I think she ran out most of the match?

But, this happens all the time to players, lol!

As a Tournament Director, I not just run a tournament, but I get to watch a lot of the matches because of where the Tournament table is normally located.

And almost once a tournament, some player will come up after they lost and lament in a loud voice to me, "That guy never missed!"  And I stand there thinking to myself, "Hmmm, I just watched the match and you both missed quite a lot."

The player will go on, nipping at me about his opponents' handicap, "That guy shouldn't be a 5 - he was ran out every time I missed!  That's not a 5.  Fives don't play that good!"

But, I simply realize that they witnessed something different than what actually happened.  Part of the reason is emotions, as we don't see clearly or think clearly if we are upset.  But, the other factor is we all simply don't always see the same things, even if we are involved in the same situation.

So, I didn't usually rush to change someone's handicap based on one player who just got beat, because it's usually not what they really experienced, lol.

Special 10-Ball Helmet

This is my little friend Ezekiel! (Zeke for short):

Ezekiel is the beautiful boy of Nicole and Joseph, who was born Jan 10, 2018. 

I asked Joseph about Zeke's cool 10-ball helmet.  No, no, he's not getting ready to ride his bike into the sunset with a new girlfriend, haha!

Joseph shared that basically nowadays they recommend babies sleep on their back.  At 3 months, they noticed the back of Zeke's head was really flat.  They moved him from rocker to basinet and from 3 to 6 months, no matter what they did, he would always sleep on his left side.  Joseph shared, "Move him, he would move back. lol"

The result was a flat head on the back and left side, and they also noticed his ears were uneven "by a lot."  Zeke was diagnosed with Plagiocephaly.  It's actually a very common problem, and some fix on their own, some do not.  Nicole and Joseph decided (rather than hoping it would correct itself), and "knowing how mean kids are, we didn't want him getting teased about his head shape," to look into options.

So, they got 3D images and a custom DOC band made.

For those like me who don't have kids nor around kids:

"The DOC Band is the only custom cranial helmet with nearly 35 years of documented outcomes. It’s been used to safely and successfully treat more than 175,000 babies with moderate to severe plagiocephaly.  Each DOC Band is custom made using our state-of-the-art technology and one-of-a-kind manufacturing process to ensure it delivers the best possible outcome for your baby."

He will wear his helmet 4 to 6 months, 23 hours a day.  And Zeke will have head band adjustments done every 2 weeks to evaluate his progress.

Then one day they were eating out for Nicole's birthday dinner and having an awesome conversation about billiards with their server.  Turned out their server (Brandon) also loves pool and Joseph shared information about the tournament scene in and around Houston during their dinner.  Joseph used to play on the Omega Tour here in Dallas / Fort Worth and he's still on the pool scene down in Houston and many other places when he travels.

Joseph and Brandon would soon become friends on Facebook and that's when Brandon also started to ask questions about the DOC band.  Then he asked if he could decorate it, as he is an artist.  Because it has to be worn 23 hours a day, doing awesome detailed art work was not an option, but Nicole and Joseph had already agreed what they wanted.  Because he is a pooloholic and Zeke was born on Jan 10th, "Logically a 10-ball was the design we wanted."

Well, logically to us pool players, right?!  :)

Turns out Brandon's family runs a sign and wrap company, so he hooked them up!  They got two decals created based off dimensions, and when the decals were ready, Brandon went over to do the install.

"With a blow dryer, a lot of patience, and business cards, we installed it together which was a really cool experience."

And they still have the other decal if this one gets too messed up.

"Brandon offered to do it for us, no charge, just looking forward to having a friend he can shoot pool with.  I believe everything happens for a reason, and divine meetings like this take place all the time."

Rather than spend hundreds of dollars to get it done at a place elsewhere, they had a chance meeting, talked about billiards, became friends, which set in motion for how Ezekiel got his 10 ball design.  "And Nicole and I gained a friend that likes billiards."

You can see in the photo above Zeke already likes billiards!  And, he watches tournaments streamed all the time with Dad, too.

Here is Zeke and his parents:

Thank you for sharing your story, Zeke, Nicole, Joseph, and Brandon!

Publicizing Local Gambling Matches

I noticed that a pool room (Putters) in Las Vegas advertises matches on Facebook.  You might think, so what?  So do other people.  Well, what I find more interesting is their matches are showcased.

You see, sometimes matches are "announced" on Facebook, but no details are given.  I am sure there is a good reason for this.  But it never fails - people will ask who is playing, for how much, etc?  And instead of responses, we are Ghosted.

(damn, I hate being ghosted!)

"Ghosting. While this term is relatively new, the act of ghosting existed long before the dawn of the Internet. But what does it mean? Ghosting occurs when someone you're seeing suddenly stops making any contact, giving no signs at all that they're no longer interested."

And we aren't told who is playing or any details.  Just "big names" and "you don't want to miss it" so "come on out."  Well, crap, just tell me who is playing for how much and what is the race??

However!  Check out alternatively what Putters does: they create graphics for their match ups that contains photos, times, race, game, how much they are playing for, etc:

Now honestly, which advertising gets you more interested in the match ups?

I know - it all depends on who is playing if you want to traverse to the pool room to watch them gamble.  But at least we know who is gambling at Putters!  lol

New Relationships and Talent

I don't know if y'all have ever heard about this before, but there's some unwritten philosophy (or maybe there are a ton of technical papers written about this for all I know lol) that people feel if you find yourself in a new, strong relationship that it might affect whatever it is that's going well in your life.

Okay hang on with me people, hang on, lol!

Let me think of an example maybe you've heard before.  How about like.... a prodigy child who is amazing at music or the best baseball pitcher anyone has ever seen at 11 years old.  All of a sudden, they start to be interested in girls and then they are no longer focused on music or baseball. That's the only example I can think of right now.  Have you heard of something this before?  I sure hope so or you may think I'm off my rocker, lol.

And the point of this blog post is to share with you that this happened directly to me.

No, I wasn't a great pitcher or music prodigy (sorry to disappoint, lol), but in the mid-90s I started to date one of the top pool players in Texas.  His game was so good, people were talking about him all over the country.

However, when we first started going out, some of the guys in the pool room (which I feel they shouldn't have done this), told him that he should not go out with me. They told him that having a new girlfriend would be a distraction and it would affect his game (and all the work he put into it).

That actually caused him to have some doubt in our relationship, because there were these little voices chipping at his ear telling him their thoughts.

And you can understand that for someone who was top of his game, when he would play badly all of a sudden or not finish well, he wondered, "Are those guys right?  Should I not be with her?"

And as you can imagine, when you have that much skill and when you're that talented and you're all of a sudden at the top of your game and finishing well in almost all of the big tournaments you're playing in, and you're all of a sudden all over the magazines, the one thing you don't want to do is derail that.  Especially since playing pool was his dream.

I'm not saying I wasn't worth it, but even I would say I wouldn't want to get in the way of his dream career.

We eventually would break up a couple of times while we were together for 5 years and part of the reason was because I was a very immature girlfriend.  But, the other part of it was because it did seem like I was affecting his game.  At first it was because he wanted to be a good boyfriend and didn't want to travel and be away from me, but eventually it was because I wasn't a mature enough girlfriend for him at the time.

You see, I wasn't a strong woman in my late 20s.  I was also still treating people like I was treated growing up in a verbally abusive house - I yelled, instead of talked when I was upset.  I was also extremely jealous.  And being that I didn't understand most of the emotions I was feeling, I overreacted with crying and getting upset at him.  Not realizing that I had a ton of inner turmoil and learning to do to become the stronger, more mature, happier, and confident woman who is typing this out today.

I'm lucky that he was SO talented that he kept playing top-notch pool - heck, he even skyrocketed to 2nd place in rankings on the pro tour while we were together!  (so, I couldn't have been that bad of an influence, right?  lol.)  While I didn't necessarily affect his game detrimentally the entire time we were together, I do admit that if I had been a more mature, more understanding, less emotional girlfriend, he might have won even more tournaments - instead of trying to play his best pool while having to deal with a crying girlfriend back home lol who was overacting about stupid shit.

But, this blog isn't about me crying or being a bad girlfriend - that's for another time, right? haha - but what I am saying is I have experienced directly the affect a new relationship can have on someone who's very talented.

But, what if I had been a strong girlfriend? What if I wasn't so emotional and unconfident? Yep, I still think I would have affected his game somehow.  I'm not saying every new relationship affects a young music or sports prodigy, but what I am saying is having a new, deep relationship for the first time in your life does cause a certain amount of distraction. It's a normal thing, really.  And that's why all the Mom's and Dad's want their kids to stay far away from the opposite sex for as long as they can lol.  How many kids do you know who were on their way to college and got derailed because they "fell in love."

His friends were correct. I distracted him from playing top-notch pool like he had been playing before he met me. But again, he was talented enough to overcome the obstacles, still became a top pro, and is still today, actually.  Thank goodness!

Great White and Billiards

Pro player, fantastic billiards instructor, and previous Mosconi Cup team captain, Mark Wilson, posted something on Facebook that caught my eye the other day.

He went to see the rock band Great White.  If you don't know who they are, then you are just too young anyway and should stop reading (just kidding!).

This is what Mark shared:

"Great White lead guitarist, Mark Kendall, is a terrific pool player and I was not sure if I could beat him, so I brought along some extra firepower, World Champion Nick Varner."

Here they are with the band and check out how excited they are to be next to Nick Varner (I mean, we all act that way, but still):

Mark Wilson went on to say that two guys in the front row recognized Nick Varner, "And it was priceless. They displayed facial expressions of shock, bewilderment, and delight, while trying to play it cool. We all fist bumped 👊🤘."  lol

I didn't know the guitarist played pool - love hearing that!