Drinking and Pool, Lessons from Katniss and the Cueist

I thought I’d do something a little fun and different. I asked the same questions to The Cueist (the pool player of The Cueist Project section of my blog) and Katniss (the pool player of the Project Hunger Games section of my blog) about a certain theme to get their thoughts.  You know, to compare notes and all.

Being sober for almost 3 ½ years now, I realize it probably doesn't make sense that the first theme would be about drinking and playing pool, lol, but here we go!

All three of us used to drink while playing pool (the Cueist and I more than most, haha). But, drinking (while playing pool) had lessened for me towards the end of my pool journey as I became more successful, and so I wanted to know if it had for them as well, along with the any positive (or negative) impacts.

The first question was, “Do you ever take a drink to calm nerves? If so, do you still do that? Do you think it's effective?”

Katniss:

When I cannot calm my nerves, yes, I will take a shot. I actually did this in the first tournament of the year. I was playing a young lady that was just bouncing around the table making all her balls. For some odd reason, my breathing exercises were not helping me. I took a break (you are allowed one per match) and as I passed the bartender, I ordered a ‘Jose Cuervo dressed and chilled’ as I walked by.  I went to pee, came back out, and my shot was ready. I downed it right then and there and then went to continue the match. I was calm within 10 minutes. I ended up winning that match. And, that was the only alcohol I had during that 14-hour marathon that day.

And what about you, Cueist?  Do you ever take a drink to calm nerves? If so, do you still do that? Do you think it's effective?

The Cueist:

When I joined a new league team awhile back, we would always drink throughout the day during events. I'd get nervous, and thought I needed a drink to calm down. That was the captain’s way of coping with the nerves, and I thought the same thing. But that was more of a crutch, a habit, that I had developed over the years. Instead, I tried focusing on my breathing, PSR (pre-shout routine), and just having fun in order to get rid of the nerves.  

At an end of a season tournament recently, I heard from some of my teammates that they believed that since our team drank every league night, that we'd all drink that weekend, too.  Some of the players didn’t want to do that (I know, it doesn't make sense!).  But, a few of us made a pact to stay sober the entire time while we played. Once the matches were over for the day, we'd have a drink if we wanted to (okay, most of us wanted to, lol). We kept up the 'not drinking' during pool playing - with the exception of when we made it the finals - some of them needed a drink to calm down apparently. But personally, I didn't feel any more nerves without having a drink of alcohol. So, it justified that it was simply a crutch.

And then I asked them, “Do you feel you drink less, now that you are more successful in your pool game?”

Katniss:

I take my game more serious now, so yeah, I don’t drink as much. 

“Go on,” I nudged:

Katniss:

When I first started playing pool, I was excited to get out and get to hang out with other players and drinkers. Eventually I joined a league. The whole atmosphere was very new to me, but I loved it.  At one point early on, I won a few games over a couple of weeks (even though I was a true beginner), and I liked that feeling! So, I took my game more seriously.  

At some point, they made me the “anchor” for that same league team. One night I was buzzed and I missed the winning ball! (a shot that I make more often than not). I lost the match for our team. That feeling I did NOT like. Ever since then, I don’t drink as MUCH. Maybe 2 beers only.

I prodded some more:

“So, do you think you became MORE cognizant about not combing drinking and playing pool in the last few years because your game has improved so much?  Or, did that first anchor experience start you on that journey?”

Katniss:

Both, actually. I want my mind and concentration to be clear and strong for the amount of energy it takes to compete. I think many players forget that...that alcohol interferes with energy. 

Additionally, I feel like I should maintain a certain level of professionalism because I have some women tell me sometimes that they want to play like me. Or, “Wow, I want to be like you when I grow up.”  While that makes me blush, it is a positive culprit for me to drink less. Besides, I don’t want to become a cocky drunk that thinks they are unbeatable. Alcohol makes us fearless, right?

I asked the same question to The Cueist:

Do you feel you drink less, now that you are more successful in your pool game?

The Cueist:

You know that saying "dress for the job you want?" Well, it kinda goes along with that. While I don't necessarily have the want to be a full-time pro player, I started noticing something last year. There is a guy from Texas (Justin Espinoza) who was the one that made me notice it, actually. He used to drink at all the tourneys, etc. While he's such a great player nowadays, he made it a point to quit drinking while playing pool. And his performances in tourneys immediately jumped up a bit during that time. He kept hashtagging "soberpool," and it was one of those things that I just kinda kept in the back of my mind. 

That was it?

The Cueist:

Well, no, lol. In Vegas one year, I noticed that most, if not all, of the top pros don't even touch alcohol while playing. Why? Because it's their job to play pool. And you don't want to be impaired while doing your job. Sure, they were all hanging out at the bars at the end of the day, but while they were playing they did not drink.

Bottom line is that drinking and pool is one of those things that goes together like peanut butter and jelly. But if you want to progress and play at a high level, you really need to have your full focus on the match at hand. And any bit of alcohol will impair that focus. While I don't plan on trying to be a top pro or anything like that, I do have a goal to be move up in my league standings this year. And that means focusing as much as possible, to give myself the best chance to win. Drinking can wait till I'm done playing matches for the day.

Thank you to the Cueist and Katniss for your insight and experiences! You will help others with your honesty, and for that I am thankful.

A Learning Tip without Alcohol - Project Hunger Games

Katniss was sharing something with me the other day... I know, weird right? Just kidding, because as you know she's supposed to be doing that because I'm writing about her pool journey via the Hunger Games series portion of my blog.

What she shared with me was she likes to watch matches of good players when she visits pool rooms. Watching matches is one of the best ways to learn. Seeing the player's decisions, patterns, etc., will substantially improve your knowledge.

However, she made a little side comment and that's what I want to focus on today. She casually mentioned there was a lot of people around her drinking and having fun, and it distracted her. I asked her if she drinks and she said "Sometimes, but usually not at the pool room, I like to stay focused when I'm learning."

I love her thinking!

Why?

She is spot on and a lot of people don't realize that when you're working on your game and trying to improve, you really shouldn't drink while you're trying to learn/watch/practice.

I mean, obviously, you can watch matches when you're drinking, and have drinks anytime and anywhere (well, mostly, lol). But what I'm really trying to get across is people shouldn't do it while you're trying to learn. If you are having fun - go for it! Out of the tournament and hanging with friends, do it! But while learning, improving, soaking in matches, drugs or alcohol will impact your state of mind whether you realize it or not, feel it or not, or know it or not. You're not fully absorbing the great shots, completely focusing and paying attention to the great patterns and run outs, or concentrating well on the smart run outs, etc. of the matches you are watching or in practice.

Some people may think this isn't true, however alcohol may make you want to talk to your friends more (which distracts you, right?), it makes you maybe not think as clear (which obviously doesn't help you learn, right?), and if you're sitting there trying to watch shots and matches and run outs to improve your game, you want to do it with a clear, level head with no distractions as much as possible. And drinking alcohol will not put you in a state to help you learn patterns and watch pool.

I feel so strongly about this that about 5 years ago I planned to spar with a friend and give her tips. When I picked her up from her house, she was drinking a beer. I told her I wont go over anything if she's drinking (and this was back when I was still drinking). She looked at me dumbfounded. What? I can't drink a beer? I always drink when I play pool!

Well, not this time if you want tips from me, lol.

If you are watching matches to learn and you are also drinking alcohol (or maybe high on something), I'm here to put a little birdie in your head and suggest it's a disservice to yourself. You should be getting the MOST out of watching matches (or practicing) and drinking/drugs will distract you.

I'm not saying you shouldn't have fun! What I am saying is, there is a time and place for it. While you are learning is NOT the time for that. Do it after :)

So, I applaud Katniss for already following this philosophy. And glad she mentioned it so I could chat about it with you all today.

Me, having a little drink in college

Inner Turmoil Doing the Right Thing (for Myself)

One of the things we discover as we start to reach our mid 40s, is we want to be around less drama, to be around more positive and influential friends, and we want to be around people that bring us happiness.

Hold on now, folks...  This doesn't mean we haven't felt this way much of our life; we have!  But what is different as we age is we start to actually act upon different choices and decisions based on yearnings for peace.  We start to make more conscientious decisions that are best for ourselves.  Finally, right?!  For so many years we made a lot of decisions for others.

Let me provide one little, quick example.  You have a family member you hate to be around because he's so rude and obnoxious, but you continue to still go to the family functions and put up with them.  Then comes your mids 40s, and you have a epiphany about wanting less stress in your life and you realize you actually have a choice, lol.  "You know what, I'm not going to go.  I get upset for days after I see him and I simply want to have a good time around the holidays."

And btw, many decisions take time to finally make a change.  It's actually uncomfortable to start looking out for ourselves because it seems selfish.  So, it's not an easy transition at first, honestly.

My friend Dave Faver (as you all remember) passed away in May. He was a road player his entire life and I shared many things about him earlier this year when I posted the interview I did with him.

What I have been struggling with lately is Dave deserves an annual memorial tournament in his honor.  The annual "Dave Faver Memorial Tournament" or something like that.  Doesn't that sound awesome?!  And as one of Dave's best friends who happens to be a seasoned Tournament Director, it makes perfect sense that I would lead the effort to set up a memorial tournament for him and also run it every year.

He deserves that more than I can even express.  And that would also mean the world to me because he would be remembered every year (as he should be).

I've seen several memorial tournaments that have become annual events in honor of those who have passed.  And it honestly makes my heart ache because I have not done this for Dave.  But to be honest…. I cannot do this for him.

You see, this is the part of the story where I explain to you that I'm suppose to look out for myself. Which is something I only started doing recently.

What I have alluded to in my blog a couple of times is:  I don't drink anymore.  And I have not drank exactly 2 years of the posting of this blog entry (Nov 21).  Yay!

What this means is, tho, as hard as this for me to say in writing to people I don't know personally and to admit to those I do know personally, is to let you all know that I'm kinda scared to go into the pool room at certain times. I know it doesn't really make sense because, sure, I ran the Omega Tour the first year of my sobriety and I didn't drink any of those 12 weekends I was stuck in a pool room.  But, it wasn't really a choice for me - I had to be there and run the tournaments.

Running a tournament for Dave would be a dream come true for me, and you would think I could handle being in a pool room for only two full days out of a year without worrying about drinking, lol, but... I feel apprehensive.  And I need to listen to my instincts.  And I have to look out for myself and my well-being.  I'm nervous about hanging out in the pool room over two days around a lot of people drinking around the atmosphere where I used to drink frequently, often, and for numerous years.

It's not to say I would start drinking, but it's not to say I wouldn't be tempted, either.  I have always been a social drinker - I've never drank at home or by myself.  So, to do what's best for my health, my mental stability, my depression, my job, my friends, etc., I just believe it would be best if I don't put myself into situations that used to be the catalyst for excessive drinking.

You can go ahead and think that I'm weak, but literature will tell you to stay out of the element that can initiate those feelings of your addiction.

This may not make sense because you all know I go to Vegas 3 or 4 times a year (heck, I'm writing this blog post FROM Vegas right now lol!) and even though I don't have to pay for drinks there nor have to drive, I still don't drink there anymore.  So why can't I be in a pool room all day?  It's not that I CAN'T, it's that I don't want to.  In Vegas, if I feel uncomfortable or get nervous about any situation I'm in, I can just walk away.  But I get anxiety sometimes thinking about going to a pool room and being in that environment again.  Probably because I associate the pool room with me drinking too much.  And if I run a tournament for Dave, I can't just up and leave during it if I feel uncomfy.

Also, when I give/gave lessons in a pool room the last two years, I would always intentionally go in the mornings and be out of there by 1pm. You see, my drinking didn't start at night in pool rooms, it ended at night. So, I don't want to go into a pool room in the afternoons right now, either.

Even I admit I don't quite understand how I wasn't nervous about going into the pool room the first year of me not drinking, and yet now I am apprehensive about it for some reason.  I guess because I am more aware for some reason that relapses can happen in the blink of an eye, and I want to help myself by not being in situations where that might occur for me.

It may sound like I'm not having fun being sober, lol.  So I think it's important to state that I am only sharing this single trepidation of my life because it's related to my pool journey.  And btw - how cool is that??  I mean seriously, how many people have only one trepidation in their life?  I feel very blessed!

And this would be the perfect time to share something crucial: one of the fears of becoming sober (or clean) is that you wont have fun anymore.  And you may be thinking this to yourself right now about me, "Gosh, is Melinda even having fun?  She's scared to go into the pool room so how can she be happy?"  Well, I am here to tell you that I'm actually much happier than I've been in a VERY long time!  I have more fun in life and enjoy things so much more!  This isn't about the pool room making me sad - it's about the more substantial things I do now in life that bring me much more honest, memorable, and refreshing joy (drinking too much was getting in the way of those things).

Plus, there have been SO many benefits to not drinking anymore!  Read mine here if you wish.

But, if I felt like I was in a better spot mentally, I would be able to hold a Dave Faver tournament in his honor.  But, I think even Dave would understand my apprehension and would want me to do what is best for my well-being.  Dave was so very happy for me when I started down this road, and then proud of me when I reached my one year anniversary (he was still alive then) and he knew how important it was for me to remain this way.

Temptations, I feel, I must avoid.

I know plenty of people who can eventually go back into the environment of their addiction.  But right now I have a choice - and I am choosing what is best for me at the moment and I just don't want to put myself in that situation.  Maybe it means I'm not strong enough yet?  Maybe it means I just need more time?  Maybe it means I'm just trying to be careful?  Maybe it means I am glad for my decision to stop drinking and want to continue up this great path I'm on?

Whatever the reason, whether known or unknown, aware or unaware, I want to listen to myself and do what is in the best interest to stay sober.  And I know Dave and my other friends would approve. :)

I know I try to be honest in my blog, and this is may be a little too honest. But I'm hoping that maybe at least one person can relate to what I'm going through, and therefore know you aren't alone.

Life Happens - Danielson Series

I played pool for 25 years.  Not just casual pool, but dedicated on leagues and traveled around playing in big events and followed a few pool tours.

So, I have a little bit of experience with what I'm about to talk about.  Just a smidgeon (sarcasm on, lol)

You see, there is a reason why I have not blogged that much this year about Danielson.  Life happens.

Yep, Life.

And life is important!  And life events sometimes keep us away from pool.

For me, life moments that kept me away from pool were all the normal "big" life things.  I got married in my mid 30s and that kept me away from dedicating myself to pool as I started my "new" life with my then husband.  When we divorced, pool was back on top of the list!  When my Dad passed and then 5 years later my dear Mom passed, both of these life events put a pause on my pool playing days.  Most recently, stopping drinking alcohol has kept me from playing pool. (one year and 8 months as I typed this, yay! :)

These are all big "life" events that make us take a back seat to dedicating our time to playing pool.  Our focus is on other things going on in our lives.

And guess what?  Yep, it's all normal!

So, Danielson recently changed jobs.  That is a big life event that has curtailed his pool playing time.  Further, he is working hard on paying off some big bills.  His priority has shifted a little bit right now and so pool is not on the forefront of his mind.

Again, this is normal people!

We all go through big life events in our pool journey that sometimes derails our quest to play pool often.  And what I found, is each time I got back into pool, I played better and was more knowledge and more mature.

It's normal for people to take breaks for life events.  I know a few guys who took like 15 years off from playing pool to help raise their kids.  And now they are back, playing good still.  Several other friends moved and/or had kids - all things that require us to take a break from pool, right?

But remember, if you are going through a life event, don't fret about the game you love - pool will come back if you want to play again.  :)

Friendships Are Stronger Since Not Drinking

I don't recall if I've mentioned this in my pool blog or not, but I quit drinking over a year ago.  421 days as I write this to be exact.  :)  Ahhh, but who's counting?  :)

One of the cool benefits of not drinking anymore is every single conversation with a friend has my full attention and I remember everything.  I have also noticed my friendships are deeper.

I especially noticed this when I went to OKC two weekends ago for a tournament.  I can't begin to express how joyful it was to spend time with my friends giving them my full attention, instead of breaking off to go get us shots.

Sure, drinking can be fun and taking shots all day with friends can be fun, too.  But for me, being fully engaged and spending quality time with my friend who took time out of her schedule to come visit me at the tournament was much more impactful and memorable than when I used to spend my time drinking instead.

It also meant a lot that she pointed out to me, "congrats on the accomplishment of not drinking over a year," as I had shared the great milestone on Facebook back in November.

Here is a selfie of Bobbi and I on that day in OKC:

I shared many other benefits of no longer drinking on my personal blog, if you want to read them.

I find it rather cool and awesome how fully aware I was that I enjoyed so much more spending quality time engaged with my friends, laughing and having fun, instead of interrupting them to make trips to the bar for our shots.

Alcohol to Calm Nerves

After I was put out of the 2-day 8-ball tourney I played in back in early April, I was talking to a friend that had bought my half of the calcutta.

As we chatted, he told me I played well all weekend.  Then he asked if I wanted a drink, as he was sitting there drinking a beer by himself.  I replied thank you, but I had quit drinking.  You never know how people will react to these little but important words, "I quit drinking," but his response caught me off guard:  It was about POOL.

He reacted shocked, "What!?  How did you play pool without drinking!?"

I stood there looking at him confused.  Uh, What?  What do you mean?  I don't need alcohol to play pool.  Do you?  And then he shared well, it can calm my nerves and make one feel relaxed.  And then I was like, "oh, yea, that's right."

Then I joked with him, "how the hell did I finish and play well without a few drinks!?  Damn." Honestly, though, hadn't even crossed my mind.

Even though quite a few times I felt pressure and adrenaline in matches in this 2-day tourney, I didn't even think at all to take a shot to help calm my nerves.  It's actually really cool to realize it didn't even cross my mind - tells me I'm not dependent on that "crutch" and that I can handle pressure and nerves in competition through (1) deep breathing techniques to calm down my adrenaline, (2) positive thinking affirmations, and also (3) staying in the present moment.

I'm not saying everyone who drinks does this - usually drinking while playing pool is just a habit - but what I am saying is that indeed just the right of alcohol can tame nerves.

He then shared he thought it was cool I wasn't drinking, and it was no longer about "how did you play well without it" to "that's really awesome for you."

Steps Help with Pretending to be Drunk

One of the local pool room owners, when he first came into town decades ago, was going around town trying to hustle local pool players.

He would act drunk and hustle the money right out of their hands.

He tells this story much better and funnier than I ever could, but he went to this one local bar one night to see if he could make some money.

As he walked in to this bar he had never been to before, he had no idea there were stairs to walk down as you walk in the place:

(I took this pic during my ladies league one night)

So, as he walks in, he falls down the steps!  He didn't even have to pretend to be drunk - everyone already thought he was by the way he stumbled literally into the room!

But, it back-fired.  Usually you want to show you have been drinking after awhile, not right off the bat.  So, it actually hurt him - no one wanted to play him because they just thought he was super drunk, had no money, and didn't really want to play some serious games, so no one wasted any time on him.

He doesn't even drink at all, and he tried to tell the players that, but they weren't believing him at all, lol.

Oh to be the fly on the wall that night.

Did I Miss my Match?

I heard something really funny after the June Omega Billiards Tour stop.

One of the players drank a little too much on Saturday night of the tourney.   I saw him play next to me at one point, when each of our matches were next to each other.

I noticed he was talking more, and a little bit louder and interactive with his opponent than I was used to,  but I haven't really seen him play a lot so didn't know if this was normal for him or unusual.

I did hear him say at one point,  "I'd be beating you more if I was sober.  Just wait til tomorrow! " Or something like that lol,

A couple of weeks later at another tourney he's telling someone about that night and how drunk he was.

He shared, laughing,  "Yeah I was really drunk that night.   So drunk that when I woke up Sunday morning,  I woke up late for my match!   I couldn't believe it.  I quickly checked the brackets that were posted online to see how late I was.  And I saw that I had actually LOST that last match that night and wasn't even still in the tourney Sunday like I thought!"

LOL!  That's hysterical.

Surprise Team Name

I mentioned before that I switched from a Monday team to a Sunday team, within the same League, so I could still qualify for ACS and BCAPL Nationals in Vegas.

As I mentioned before, I asked this particular team if I could join them because I knew they had fun guys on it, all the while they played strong, too.  Sorry, I just can't be playing on a weak team, lmao.

(I'm serious!, lol)

As a reminder how fun these guys are, I called one of them and left a voicemail about perhaps joining their team, if they had room.  He calls me back and says, "Well, we would love to have you on our team, but we have already met our white person quota."

LMAO.

Did I pick the right team or what??  They are hysterical!

The have welcomed me with open arms and I am really enjoying the fun Sunday afternoons with them.

I noticed our stats came in via email and for the first time, I decided to look up what our team name meant in Spanish.  Our team name is "Los Barrachos."

So, today I googled the translation and started to LMFAO!

"los borrachos" from Spanish:

"The Drunks."

OMG!!!

lol!

New Captain

During the ACS Texas State tourney in mid October, my ladies team was playing our last match of the night on Saturday night against a fellow team from our area, also.

So, we all know each other really well.

And this was a great group of ladies, just like our team.

One of the ladies on the other team, I'll call her, "Hysterical," was very tipsy.  I honestly didn't know she drank!!

She was being very loud but very funny!  Making everyone laugh and just having fun!!

Her and I are about to play and as I'm racking the balls, she comes up to me and whispers with slurred words, "I don't like our new captain very much."

I looked up kinda surprised.  Her captain is like the sweetest woman on earth!

I asked her, "Why? Why don't you like her?"

As she's swaying a little, "Well..."

"Well what?"

"Well, she wants me to slow down on my drinking!"

I start laughing my ass off!

She says, "I just don't like that very much.  I mean, who does she think she is?" in this absolutely hysterical sarcastic slurry voice!

OMG it was classic!!

A/C Broke in Vegas

Since Vegas is right around the corner, thought I'd share a Vegas story.

Two years ago in Vegas for the BCAPL Nationals, I am mostly there to have fun and relax; no expectations for the tourney-side of things. 

One early afternoon after the singles event, I decide to eat at the Riviera Cafe (Kady's) with a friend of mine.  While many people complain about Kady's, I am a creature of habit and order the same thing all the time b/c I really do like a few things on their menu.

On the way to the cafe, I walk by the edge of the casino and I happen to run into a friend who is extremely drunk (the sun is out and it's the middle of the day!), but he has been up all night playing poker, drinking, playing black jack, and he has yet to go to bed for some reason.

I say my hellos and nice greeting to him, while he is is the typical drunk person who doesn't recognize distance in his sober state so he stands to close to me and talks right at my face, as I try to step back from his alcohol breathe.

I get to the cafe and order my food with my friend and then my Mom calls me.

"What do you mean the A/C guys haven't shown up yet?  They were suppose to be there already!"

I immediately get upset, as my Mom has advanced emphysema and she needs the air very cold so she can breathe well (warm/hot air makes breathing difficult).  Further, when the A/C goes out (this wasn't the first time), she has to sleep in the living room on the coach because it's the coolest place in the house.  This also isn't good for her lungs because she has to sleep laying up and cannot lay flat.  Because I am in Nevada and she is in Texas helpless (and I'm her rescuer), I am extremely upset right now.

As I'm talking to her, the drunk guys come to our table and sits down for some reason.

I keep talking, "What did they say? "Did you tell them the A/C is froze?"

And then I get distracted from the drunk guy.  He asks me, "What is wrong with your A/C?" Seriously, dude?  You are trying to talk to me when I'm on the phone with my Mom about something almost life crisis?

I raise my forefinger perpendicular to my mouth for the universal symbol of "shhhh." 

I continue, "Mom, calm down.  I will call them back and be the lioness and explain how important the A/C needs to be fixed and ask them why they hadn't show up yet as promised."

Again the drunk guy tries to talk to me. OMG! 

I'm too upset to rationalize any leadership skills at the moment b/c my Mom is suffering, I feel helpless so far away, and this drunk dude is seriously annoying me at the wrong time.

I snap at him, "Dude, I'm on the phone right now!"  As he looks back at me, well.... drunk. 

I finish the call with my Mom, and I immediately I look through my phone for the number to the stupid A/C company.

The drunk guy starts to talk again, as I'm trying to find the # quickly to save my Mom.

He says slurring, "Um, I own an A/C company."

"Uh, what?"

"Yea, and I know companies in your area to help you out.  Sounds like you're getting the run around," he says.

Omg, seriously?  I was bitching out a potential helper!  Eeeek

A couple of hours go by and sure enough he sends me a contact #.  Long story short, the new company that he recommended come over that day, finds the leak right away (that the other company could not find FOUR times in the past year), and the cost was $300 less than all other estimates I had had before.

Dang drunk A/C guy to the rescue!  :)  He turned out to be my Mom and I's little angel in disguise!

.................

Speaking of drunk guys reminds me of this funny video!