Thursday, January 28, 2016

Showing Emotion

You know how when we get upset at something or someone that we don't necessarily show our good side?

It's funny how when this happens, when we show we are upset, that it comes across as being a bitch or mean and we are kinda tainted with that image for a very long time.

I pride myself on my character as a pool player; as a representative of the sport.  A good, honest, even-keeled, level-headed player that people look up to (I've been told this, I'm not just making this up, lol).

So, imagine one night when an opponents' b/f is sharking me during league.  (granted - this is MY elevated interpretation of the night)

This particular night, I was playing my little heart out because I was vying for Top Shooter.  Even though it's just a little 'ole league, it is still very important for points, prestige, honors, wins for the team, etc.

This guy was very distracting to me because he came and sat down next to his g/f, where she was seated to play her match against me, and he was also talking to her.  Normally friends or sig others just watch from the team table.  So, it was crowded in our little space and the extra talking was just that more bothersome to me.  I actually spoke up that he should not talk to her during the match; it was bothering me that much.

I over heard him ask her, "did something happen at work?  Because you aren't shooting like you normally do.  You normally stay down better."  (something like that)  Although not technically coaching, it could have helped her figure out what was going on and to adjust.

He said something again and I got super upset.  I didn't throw things or throw a temper tantrum, lol, but my facial expression wasn't one of "oh hey, what a great night this is!"   It was more of a pissed off look I'm sure.  I wasn't smiling or having a good time.

My opponent was gracious and moved to the other end of the table so the boyfriend couldn't speak to her.  She recognized it was bothering me, and she did something about it.  I was impressed.

However, I was still upset.

Mind you - he didn't even realize this isn't proper or that he was bothering anyone.  You could see he just loves her with all his might, and was super sweet to her and wanted to help her and be by her side. 

As I reflect back it was really a miscommunication type of thing of the rules going on, was what it really was.  He meant no harm.  He meant no disrespect at all.  But unfortunately it hit me wrong because it was so difficult to focus with the distractions I'm not used to at league, and I had a lot on the line.

At the end of the night, he came over with her and apologized.  I was still upset and said, "that's coaching and it's not right" (or something like that).  Dammit; I didn't handle that well.  :(

I meant to write about this about 6-9 months ago when this happened but I'm glad I didn't.

Because there is a follow up to that night.

Pretty much, I was put in my place.

Fast forward a few months later and I run into the couple at playoffs.  I went right up to her (not even remembering it was her b/f that upset me that night at league) and told her how much I appreciate her humor on FB.  She is SUPER funny - like over the top hysterical - and I LOVE her funny comments on fb!  So, I wanted to be sure to tell her.

She then proceeds to tell me basically that I was rude that night.  Her b/f tried to apologize and yet I was still rude.

I thanked her for putting me in my place, as that is honestly the last thing I want people to think of me - as rude or a bitch or whatever.  I tried to give my side of the story, too, but I DID hear what she explained to me how I came across.

I think it's ironic I can't show emotion, though, without looking like a bitch.  I was upset that night.  I was mad, actually.  It's already difficult enough to play pool and with people talking and "coaching" going on also, made it for a much tougher time for me to really focus and concentrate on the game.  So, I showed emotion.  And now I'm forever tainted as a mean person to them (not forever, lol, but it definitely made them see me in a not so bright light).

I felt bad they got upset that I wasn't receptive when he tried to apologize.  I should have been more open and receptive to his apology.  Unfortunately, I was still upset and it's difficult to switch from beng mad to happy so quickly.  But, I wish I would have.

For her to call me on it - kudos to her!  Not many women (well, men or women) would have done that.  They would have just maybe talked behind my back and kept that crappy opinion of me, but she took me aside to talk about the instance to share their side of things.  And also how I came across.

And, we are now friends after that talk (I didn't know her before), which I am very grateful as she a great woman.
It's funny how we try so hard NOT to be that way, but when we have a lot going on in our lives, and trying to play pool being distracted, we don't always remain calm, cool, collected and smiling.  I usually am 96% of the time.  This time I wasn't.  For that, I apologize. 

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