When You WERE a Better Player

Last week I wrote about how sometimes players who don't cash a lot throughout the years might quit playing pool due to their disappointment and frustration. Today I would like to talk about players that used to cash (that no longer do) who feel similar.

It has to be very frustrating for players of any sport who used to play well, who no longer do. At what point do they decide to throw in the towel? Or, do they just continue to play anyway? Struggling and limping along.

I’d like to share part of a convo I had with someone about this, that puts this into perspective (imho).  I will let his words speak for themselves, instead of me interpreting them. 

I’m taking break, and stop going to tournaments. I am going to hit balls at the house and kinda find myself with regards to my pool game. I need to relearn how to focus and also just hit enough balls that making them becomes automatic again. My lack of confidence and struggling is just making me not have fun. Same thing happened with golf - in high school I was a champion…now I don’t play, yet I still expect to play the same. Same with a couple of other sports I used to dominate. 

I guess I should just accept this fate that I suck because I don’t practice. But, I’d rather just quit than accept being “less than.” But, then I go back to thinking “well, those good players play for a living or at least hang out in a bar every day. I can’t do that, but I have a good life otherwise….so, so what if I suck?”

I suggested one of my blog topics (learn to refocus), and some other tips. I was trying to get him off of the “I’m going to quit pool ledge.” But any attempt at advice was not heard by him. And it made sense, actually.

He is a seasoned sports player. He has played enough different types of sports throughout the years to understand what he should probably do. And no advice for me was going to keep him from quitting pool, solving his frustrations, or giving him an any 'aha' moment.

After my feeble attempt with advice, he replies:

Ahhh…here’s the problem. I’ll admit I’m ambitious and that you are logical in your advice and statements. My problem is that I can’t settle for what may be this moments reality. You see, I honestly believe that I have the potential to play top speed. Call me crazy (I’m totally ok with that). I do however know first hand that to perform at a world class level, then you must put in the work. So, that’s my logic and excuse. Basically, I believe I’m a top player, but without the time to practice or perform as they do. Hopefully this doesn’t sound too “prickish or egotistical” That’s why I often speak of humility, as I have to make a conscious effort to keep my ego in check.

Not prickish at all, right? Just ownership of his thoughts and feelings.

When You Don't Improve...

I've been playing pool in Texas for close to 30 years. And I always wondered what happened to those female players that I used to see playing on the Texas tours. The ones that really loved the game, but didn't cash a lot or make it to Sunday.  Where did they go?

Players either eventually improve, or they don't. Right? 

My heart tells me I think they sadly realized they weren't advancing enough and they got frustrated spending money and traveling with no success to show for it.  They may have got discouraged and didn't think they played good enough anymore to continue spending the money to attend all the out of town tournaments.

A lot of players, no matter if they improve or not, love the camaraderie of our amazing sport!  They will continue to travel and play in tournaments, even if they aren't a good player and hardly ever cash. But.... not everyone will continue to do that.

Obviously, there could be many other very life-changing reasons why players stop attending tournaments, which have nothing to do with skill-level.  Family life, moved, health reasons, new career, etc. 

But I'm not talking about those players. 

I'm talking about the ones who didn't finish well most of the time. There were too many players throughout the years that stop playing that makes me think they didn't have the passion for the sport anymore because they just weren't successful. That hurts my heart to say it out loud!

Now, you all know I like to be very honest and transparent in my blog, so let me tell you that I am one of those ladies. 

I really am.

However, my sport wasn't pool, my sport was poker.  I was myopic for sure.

(Because I wrote about poker yesterday, thought I'd share some more about my experience with that sport.)

I used to play poker a lot at Winstar (a casino on the border of Texas/Ok). I really loved the camaraderie and the socialization! I loved that I got to know all the dealers, waitresses, and many of the 'regular' poker players who played at Winstar often.  I just loved the whole entire atmosphere, really. The clanking of chips, the bad beats, talking to the players at the table, etc. My extrovert personality really came out in that atmosphere for some reason; I was very comfortable.

Winstar had 46 tables (now they have more) so it was a HUGE poker room!  My ex and I would go all the time. It was definitely an addiction.

But, just like pool players get the pool bug, I definitely got the poker bug. However, I didn't know what I was doing, mostly socializing, and especially drinking too much.

After those two to three dedicated years of (mostly having fun and) playing poker, I slowed down substantially after we broke up. I have played maybe only twice a year since then.

Every once in awhile I played pretty good, but I still didn't really know the game. I left 90% of the time without money in my pocket, and therefore only 10% of the time with money.

I didn't put any effort in to improve my knowledge. I only read part of one book.  I only occasionally watched poker on TV.  I didn't study the game at all.  My recent ex-boyfriend (MM) gave me some tips and also friends throughout the last ten years gave me some tips, but because I haven't worked to put in any effort to improve, and I hardly play anymore, I am not a good poker player at all. 

I don't love the game anymore. Instead, all it's done is made me realize that I wasted A LOT of money the last 10 years (trying) to play poker and I really, truly didn't know what I was doing.

I don't play poker anymore just like those ladies don't play pool anymore. It's disheartening to not cash most of the time, so I understand. 

So, I understand in a very direct way, why maybe some of those women stepped away from pool.

Low Confidence Leads to Improvement - Project Hunger Games

Katniss (the pool player of the Project Hunger Games section of my blog) shared with me she is having some confidence issues.

"I sucked at a tournament last weekend and then at league the very next week, I sucked worse. I am feeling some frustration and low confidence. I'm playing really badly!"

I took in her words and could tell she was hurting.

I shared with her, "Everyone goes through these confidence things, just remember it's all part of the process. And very normal :)."

I added, "Funny thing: we actually improve during times of these little baby steps backwards. If that makes sense. It makes us not get too comfortable, which leads to us working on our game, which leads to improvement. :)"

She replied back that I made her cry. 

Oopps!  

Don't worry - she was crying in a good way, lol.

Maybe it's because my words eased her feelings remembering that being frustrated and lacking confidence from playing badly is very normal and we all go through it.  Plus, the good news is it's a catalysts to work on our game, which in turns helps us improve.

Because I have been in her situation almost 1,000 times (I might be exaggerating) of feeling down after a tough loss or a bad tournament run because I'm playing so badly, I can relate. Ugh. 

What do you do to Improve?

A friend of mine, Tina, has been working on her game so much so, that her persistence has paid off.  She recently won her end of season league tournament - a first for her!

Everyone has noticed her game has gone up and her stats and finishes have also soared. So, of course that led me to wonder what she was doing to improve.  But I didn't need to ask her.  If you follow her on social media, it's evident.  She WORKS on her game, works on improving, and works on learning.

Here's my question to some of you: Are you just playing pool?

First, if you are - that's fine!

But if you want to improve, what are you doing about it?

Don't be upset with me with the harshness of this statement, but:  just showing up at league or tournaments is not enough.

Tina doesn't just show up to her 'main' league and play pool.  She also plays in two other really tough leagues. Additionally, she plays in big tournaments around the DFW area, and sometimes in big tournaments in OK and other cities across Texas. She also plays on two tours (a ladies tour and a men's tour), and further, at times plays in weekly tournaments.

It's almost like she read my blog from the past where I shared many things one can do to improve your game.  I was ADAMANT many times that in order to improve, you MUST play in many different type of tournaments (yes, some tough); you aren't going to improve by just playing in league.

But, wait there's more!

If there is a stream on over the weekend, Tina has it on and she's watching. Watching great pool and patterns helps our game immensely (I've written about this before here).

side note: as I was writing the draft of this blog post last week, I noticed Tina posted this on her FB:

Proof she watches streams!

Oh, and guess what?

Yep, there's more!

She also practices.  She will either practice at home, meet up with league-mate at the pool room and hit balls before tournaments, or sometimes even go to the pool room and hit balls by herself.

Additionally, she reads.  I know, so rare! She will get out her reminders and go over them. Or she will grab a Phil Capelle's books and read some sections.

Further, she will sit herself in the front row of tournaments and watch matches while she waits for her own match to be called! I have written before about how crucial this is. And, she is taking advantage of the "free" learning lessons by watching the great matches right in front of her. She could be sitting in the corner reading a book, or drinking with her friends at the bar, or playing video games to pass time. Instead, she's using her time wisely.

See what she's doing?  She is working on her game!  She hasn't been playing pool for a long time, but for some reason, she knew in order to improve, she needed to put in work for her pool game to improve.

I can easily admit for the first 10 years of me playing pool, that that's all I did - just play pool.  I only played on some tour stops and played on a league, and then wondered why my game never went up.

It took me years to figure out I needed to put in work and not just show up to a tournament and hope for the best.  I finally set practice goals, read, watched DVDs, wrote in my pool diary after each match, practiced diligently, and played in a ton of different events. And guess what happened? Yep, my game improved. I became more successful in my tournaments, in my standings, and started to win tournaments.

What I love about Tina's journey is she knew pretty soon out of the gate that she if she wanted her game to improve, she needed to work on it. And, so she did!

Again, if you want to improve, are you just playing pool?

Perfect Practice: The Cueist Project

I learned something really valuable from The Cueist the other day.

I have always been of the opinion to practice like you're in a tournament.

What do I mean by that exactly?

For me, what that was if you have a pool table at home, don't play in your pajamas or slippers. Instead, wear the same clothes that you would wear if you were competing.

I didn't like a pool table at home because I didn't have the same atmosphere or feeling as during a pool tournament. You can turn off the TV, put the dogs in the bedroom, you can shut out any distractions. But is that the same atmosphere as a pool tournament?

Um, no.

I've written a lot about how I love practicing in pool rooms because things will be distracting, just like during a tournament. The music may be too loud, someone might try to talk to me while I'm playing, these are all the same things we have to deal with when we are in a tournament.

So again, you should play pool in the same settings as if you were competing in the tournament.

But The Cueist actually goes further.  And I'm so excited to share this all with you today!

He says one of his preparations to get ready for tournament is to spar with a friend. But instead of just sparring, he is instead thinking of his opponent as a nemesis.

No, no, not me.

I'm not his nemesis. (wait, I hope not!)

But pretending you are playing your nemesis makes you bare down more!

He isn't just really sparring with a friend, he actually has the feelings during a tournament against the guy that is always tough for him to beat.

I think this is a very important learning experience for you all to try to incorporate!

He describes it much better:

Since I don't get to practice as much as I used to, I tried doing something else at the start of this year. A few years back, I talked to Rodney Morris about a few different things in pool. But one thing he mentioned about practice is this:

"When I was young, trying to learn the mental game, my mentor told me, 'you need to learn to play within yourself.' For me, that means practicing exactly like you play for real. When I'm practicing, I try to convince myself that I'm in the finals against whomever is my toughest opponent. I try to create that pressure situation. Because if you just practice like you're practicing, when you're playing for real, it will be different and you won't know how to react. People say practice makes perfect, but that's not true. It's perfect practice that makes perfect. So train correctly and imagine yourself in the toughest situation every shot and you'll be able to emulate that and stay within yourself no matter what is at stake:)"

The Cueist went on:

I just happened to see Rodney's message at the start of this year, and what I started doing is picturing my friend that I spar with as my nemesis. That made me bare down a lot more, and I got to the point where I am beating my friend in a race to 18, and he's now not even getting into double digits!

Aside from mentally picturing my nemesis, I also changed things up a little when practicing certain shots, or playing the ghost. I started picturing that I was back in the finals. By just picturing the lights, etc, it helps me bare down, even when doing something as mundane as practicing the same shot over and over.

Obviously, everyone is different. And this is just what's been working for me. I'm sure I'll be changing my nemesis as needed during my next practice sessions. :)

And by the way, since he has started visualizing his sparring friend as his toughest opponent in a match during a tournament, he has noticed his game is gone up a ball. That's pretty fantastic.

Learn from The Cueist, folks! 

Next time you spar with a friend, pretend they are your toughest pool enemy.  And/or visualize your surrounds from a previous tough match, and incorporate that when practicing.

Passion Can Come Across as Upset

One of the things on my "to-write-about" list is something I noticed I did back in November.  I didn't get around to writing about it yet, though. Dang it.

And then what do you know, I found myself doing it again just last week. Now I'm even more determined to write about this, as it is something I am not proud of at all.

What did I do that was so horrible?

I got on to a friend for something I am passionate about.

I know, doesn't sound horrible per say.

But, when I am passionate about something that I learned that helped me deeply and strongly about my pool journey, I tend to speak up more about it.

It's difficult to describe.

However, let me share something real quick:  I recall distinctly a friend in the late 90s telling me that my personal goal to win Most Improved Player was ludicrous.  It took me awhile to realize her point, but she was saying basically my goal was dependent on others. I had no control over that - someone else decided that "title" (and no, I did not win it, even though I came close).

So, fast forward 20 years and I kinda got on to my friend who shared with me back in November ironically that was her goal for the upcoming year. I should have listened more to her and also been kinder in my response. Instead, my passion for what I learned took over and I didn't really acknowledged her goal, just more so told her it wasn't a good idea.  I didn't want her to go through the same thing I learned the hard way. But, I could have stated it all better, as I told myself as I drove away from our outing.

Fast forward 9 months later and I recognized on my drive home from visiting with a different friend, that I kinda got on to her for a comment she made about big tables versus bar tables.

I admit when I am passionate about something or feel strongly about something that exponentially helped my game, I will speak up. But I don't need to be rude about it.  Ugh.  I pretty much told my friend she was wrong, and I kept stating all these reasons I learned why it's best to only practice on a 9 foot table, and that that will in turn actually help you when you get to smaller tables.

I even quipped, "don't you read my blog?" lol.

She laughed at the moment, but I am betting she felt badly I was so vocal about the topic.  (here is just one blog entry I wrote about why it's crucial to practice on 9 foot tables and how helpful it is to your game on all table sizes.)  (see, I can't stop!)

I really need to be better at giving advice at times.  Just because I learned something that deeply helped my game, doesn't mean I need to be a bully about it. I can be kind and still make points.

I am trying to figure out why I was so vocal these two times, when usually I'm pretty calm and reserved, and actually carefully think about how I'm saying my advice. I want my learning experiences and advice it to be received well, so I normally am very careful with my word choices so they don't come across harsh.  Not sure what was going on these two times.  My apologies.

 

Happy For Friends Games Maturing

This past weekend was a nice treat for those who love to watch women's pool. RackemTV, a live streaming company out of the Dallas area, streamed throughout the Jerry Olivier's Ladies Tour stop at JR Pockets in Denton, Texas.

I played at JR Pockets several years via the Omega Tour, so it was nice to see a familiar place in the background. And one of my favorite commentators was helping call plays (Billy Guy who I wrote about before), so that was an added bonus as well. When RackemTV was streaming the DFW 9Ball Tour last month from JR Pockets, Billy was not the commentator and boy was he missed!

Anyway, the reason for writing this morning is to share how happy and proud I was to see some friends play who have not just kept their game up, who have not just improved, but that their game has a maturity to it that we all hope for in our friends game!

I can't begin to put into words how happy my heart was to see some of my friends who have been playing well for years, who now play not just better, but with confidence, poise, and improved knowledge. They not only played well, they shot damn good - their games have really matured! They didn't take shots for granted, they stayed in each match whether up or down, and their mechanics were spot-on. It was such a joy to see shot after shot these few friends who I have always loved and admired their game and talent, but to see them play even more successful because of their solid mechanics, gained experience, and comfortable confidence.

I can't really put down in words what I mean.  I guess I am trying to say after years of watching them play and improve, it was nice to see their games elevated to such a level of maturity that no longer showed weak fundamentals, bad shots, or poor choices, if that makes sense. Every shot mattered, every pre-shot-routine was important and solid, and every decision was smart and confident. It was such a joy to witness!!

Awww, growing up is so much fun seeing in others!

Support as We Improve

I think one of the coolest things I've witnessed in my 20-plus years of playing pool is when a league captain or league teammates understand that at times their high caliber player(s) may be picked up to play in state or national tournaments.

Obviously I'm not talking about stealing you away, lol, but if your current league team isn't going to state or nationals, and you get picked up by a strong team, that's a pretty cool honor! And when captains and teammates see this as an amazing opportunity for their top shooter, it means the world to that player to have their support! And when I see this type of support, it warms my heart full.

Let me be more specific.

This means their teammates not only understand, but are genuinely happy they were picked for a high-caliber team, because it means they either play that good or have improved so much they are now sought-after for big events.

What am I trying to say?

I am trying to say that yes it's normal to be jealous of a teammate who excels, and obviously this wouldn't happen if your a team was already going to state or nationals, but when captains or teammates are unhappy, jealous, and/or vocal to a teammate who gets picked up for a national or state team, it's actually not very fun for that player. They get hurt, upset, and the words can increase their anxiety when "friends" make crappy comments (instead of being understanding and supporting).

It's so cool when our game has improved so much that other teams are seeking us out to join them for state and national tournaments!  We go to sleep with a smile on our face because we are so elated people have noticed our game has improved, and we get to play with that team who's teammates we always looked up to. We share with our loved ones and closest friends how excited we are about the new opportunities and we can't believe it!

But then our happiness is squashed like a bug when our captain or teammates make rude comments about us "leaving them" or "we didn't get asked to go" or "why did they ask you?"  They make us feel bad; they really don't understand. And instead of seeing this as a great reward for us improving, they only rain on our parade!

It kind of reminds me how a great leader would never stop their employees from getting promotions. They might have been the perfect fit for your group at work, but a good leader will let them go, will let them succeed, will let them prosper, and happy for them to be moving up.

So, when I hear that captains and teammates aren't supportive, it makes me feel bad for that player.

I went through it; most players who have improved have experienced this lack of support and jealousy. And that's what's kind of crazy, right?  We work on our game to improve, people notice, and then our own teammates get upset at us.   

wth?!  lol.

Here's a little secret - it's actually not an easy decision to step away from our current league team to play in a state or national tournament with others. Sure, it's a natural progression to our game, but the first few times we do this, it's actually a little uncomfy. So, it would be helpful if we had people that supported us, instead of getting upset with us. 

That's why I think it's so wonderful when a captain or teammates are supportive! I'm proud and happy for those who have worked on their game and improved. Aren't you? 

Just Merely Six Years Ago

Facebook has this scientific algorithm thingy that shows you "memories on this day."  I admit, some memories we may not want to be reminded of (wow, did I really date that guy?), but there are some that are super cool to reminisce about.

Like this one, for example:

I am quite astonished that was 6 years ago!  Six years?  Wowser.

At this point in my pool journey, I had been playing pool in tournaments for about 23 years.

But, I really only started to improve noticeably and consistently about 3 years before that post on Facebook.  A few times over the 20 years I had a good finish here and there, but nothing like the strong, consistent years I had from my "finally" solid pre-shot routine from 2010-2015 and knowledge of the game.  In those 5 years, I shyly but proudly admit I was a super star in the leagues I was on - it was pretty cool to see my own game go up so much people were begging me to be on their teams :)


While this second place win wasn't the initial catalyst into the realm of me earning more titles, it DID help catapult me into the winner's circle consistently more often for the next two years to come outside of league.

That second place finish was a position on a Ladies Tour stop I never thought I could be in.  And then I ended up the year in 2nd place in the rankings of the OB Cues Ladies Tour!  OMG, that was even MORE of a place I never thought I would be in.  Just about a year later in March 2014 I DID finally win the coveted title I always wanted to win - BCAPL Singles Texas State Champion.  And then in May of 2014, I would become a National Champion.  I never, ever dreamed of that possibility!  And to top it off, at the beginning of 2015 I earned the "Amateur Pool Player of the Year for 2014" title by Phil Capelle.

I still finished strong in most events I played in in 2015, but by the middle of the year, that was when the thoughts of retirement started to occur.

My point of this blog post is to share this:  Don't wait 20 years like me to figure out this game.  Start taking lessons NOW.  Start playing in more tournaments NOW.  Start expanding your experience NOW - playing against tougher players, bigger tournaments, more team events, etc.  Start reviewing videos and reading more NOW.

Check this list out I wrote back in 2011 about the Top Ten Things I wish I knew 10-15 years ago, and DO THEM.

Here's what I know for sure:  I LOVE my pool journey.  And I actually love that it took me 20 years to be as successful as I was because I learned so much along the way, went to so many tournaments and met a ton of people, gained great friendships and have amazing experiences and memory-makers.  However, my advice is to not be like me (lol) and take the long route and have fun for years (and years), but instead start to make the changes you need to make NOW to improve your game faster.  :)

(but, if you want to take the long road, I'll be right by your side cheering you on!)

The Green Eyed Monster

I was watching TV last month and a commercial came on. This very pretty blonde girl about 20 years old was driving an old light-colored pickup truck on a beautiful sunny day in the country. Here she is: 

A guy with a guitar was hitchhiking and she picked him up. They smiled at each other and flirted silently as she drove down the highway.

Then he notices on the dashboard a piece of paper. And the piece of paper was actually advertising a singing competition for country music. He indicated to her, as he patted his guitar, that he was competing in it too.

And then in the next scene, you see her dropping him off on the side of the road!

OMG, I love this promo for Real Country on the USA Channel!

I think most of us can agree that jealousy is not really a very pretty characteristic. Especially when it affects the relationships we are in, it's not a good thing.

But, let's face it, there are some good things about jealousy.

Can you think of one?

Okay let me just tell you, so I get to the point lol. It's actually opposite of the funny commercial.

I personally think that jealousy is a good thing when it comes to improving your pool game.

When you see other players excel or working on their game, it kind of makes you self-evaluate your own game and it can actually make you work on improving yourself. If you were playing even with someone for a couple of years, and then you see them placing better in tournaments all of a sudden, you are happy for them, sure! But you also wonder, hey, we played pretty even, why are they doing so much better than me now? And what can I do to join them in the winner's circle?

You see?

I, myself, have worked on my game to try and improve after I saw certain females excelling around me. It was the exact push I needed! Had I not seen them improve so much, I doubt I would have had the desire to work on my game.

So, being jealous isn't always a bad thing or negative situation. Sometimes you can use it to boost things in your own life! 

Reasons for Recent Successes

I've always been fascinated when a player all of sudden finishes really high in a big tournament.  If it's an up-and-coming player, it makes sense because they are usually working on their game.  But when a seasoned player all of a sudden does really well when they had been missing from the podium for a while, it makes me want to find out the scoop!

I'm talking about players who have always played well, but hadn't had many high finishes the last few years, and now all of sudden placed high in a big tournament.

That happened to two of my friends recently and so I started my investigation right away for you all!  I want us all to learn from them. :)

The first player I reached out to is a good friend of mine and so he was chatting with me honestly about his thoughts on why he had propelled in his latest big tournament.  When I ran the Omega Tour, he only placed in the top 4 maybe once (when the tour first started), so what was the reason for the recent top finish?

He said he actually hasn't been playing hardly at all, especially the last three months.  I told him sometimes not putting so much into practicing can actually help us with no expectations, which allows us to enjoy the game again.

He relates and replied, "Yes I agree.  I was at a point where I was putting too much pressure on myself and overthinking.  I was able to keep things simple for most of the tournament weekend.  And also I want to have more fun when I play.  That got lost somewhere for me along the line."

I was SO happy to see how well he had finished.  So happy for him :)

At that same tournament, I noticed another player who had a higher-than-usual finish.  Then at his next big event, he had yet another top finish!  So, I reached out to congratulate him, too.  And while I did that, might as well ask what he's been doing to help his game.

After the kudos, I asked him, "Have you done something different with your game?"

"No, not at all... just gotta be positive and realize I can run out and beat anyone in the tournament."

That didn't help us, did it?  lol  So, I prodded, "But is this new thinking?"

"No, not really," he said.

Ugh.  There has to be something!

He then continued, "Just gotta do it and also stay focused through the waiting during the tournament.  The waiting just sucked the life outta me in the past."

I still wasn't satisfied with his response, lol.  I asked him, "So you just came to aha thoughts about what you need to do as far as your thinking?"

"Pretty much."

So, let me translate this for you peeps, lol.  I think he got frustrated with not finishing well, knowing damn well he has the ability and talent.  He gave it some deep thought as to WHY, and what he realized was he needed to be more positive about his own game, and also remain focused throughout the entire event (and not get frustrated with long waits, etc - things you can't control).

Pretty good translation, huh?  It's okay to be impressed.  j/k!  :)

The difference between the two is almost opposite.  The first player I talked to stop thinking too much and started to enjoy the game with less pressure.  The second player thought about why he wasn't finishing well and realized it was his attitude after much thought.

I think both are key to successes.

Congrats again to my friends!

Complaints Can Be Validation

One thing I love is when players talk to me after their tournaments.  They share things I either hadn't thought of, can relate, or can't wait to blog about!  lol.

Here is one that came up recently in a convo that I thought was intriguing and interesting, and am very excited the player said I could share.

A player who was ranked a 4 was having his best finish yet in one of the Omega tournaments recently.  I knew he would move up to a 5 pretty easily after the event, as he was finally having a good tournament.

He joked with me that very next week, "I am going to miss being a 4!"  Then confided, "No, not really, it was kinda embarrassing."

A 4 is the lowest level of the handicap scale on the Omega Tour.  It's fascinating to me that some players who are 5s WANT to be a 4 while others who are 4s see it at embarrassing.  But that's a whole 'nother blog post lol.

As we continued our convo, he shared he knew making it into Sunday of this two day tournament was going to put him in 5 territory.  He added, "Just making it to Sunday was a huge personal accomplishment for me."

Then he confessed, "It probably sounds bad - but it felt really good that one of the players I beat complained about me after I beat him... I guess it just felt kind of validating (if that makes sense)."

It didn't make sense.  Ooooooh, what did he mean by that?

So I asked, "Validating what?"

He said, "Hmmm, I don't know, I guess that I belong."

I prodded him some more, excited where this was going, "Belong where?"

He shared, "That the work I've been putting in really is improving my game.  And that I belong in the tournament - I've been playing on the tour for so long and never made it into Sunday, and that's made me question myself a bunch of times.  I've felt like I've been on the cusp for a long time, but could never put it all together."

"Bingo!  There you go!" I exclaimed.

I loved our convo.  And I am SO happy for him to have moved beyond the cusp to valid in himself he should be ranked higher, just as he thought.

While a lot of people complain about handicapped tournaments, there is a sense of pride it can bring to oneself to move from different levels.  

I am so happy for him!!

Imma Bad Friend

I was recently following several friends' progress via online brackets and also from posts on Facebook while they played in National league events/tournaments in Vegas to see how they were doing.

At one point, a team I was following had lost hill-hill.  I immediately thought to myself, "Ooooh, I hope my friend was the one who lost that hill-hill match for the team!"

Ouch.

Damn, Melinda, you're a rude bitch!

lol.

Well, let me explain why I said that "mean" thing!

I know from my own experience that the costly, unforgettable, heartbreaking losses are the ones that propel us into the amazing player we are to become.

The heartbreaking misses prepare us to handle tough, pressure situations in the future.  It's such a natural and almost expected process to dog it (lol) and then learn from it, that I had hoped she was the one who lost for the team so she would be that much further in her game for her future competitions.

Let me tell you that as I type this I can think of the 6 most heartbreaking shots of my life.  And all those shots have helped me see my error, and helped me be the champion typing these words out for you today.

--  BCAPL Texas State tournament, 2010, missed a straight in 8-ball for my team ;(
--  Reno Championships 2012.  Missed a ball before the 10-ball because I rushed my shot (thinking ahead) and lost.  Placed 4th :(
--  OB Cues Season Finale, 2013, 2nd set of the Finals:  dogged my brains out.
--  BCAPL Texas State tournament, 2013, missed a long, straight-in shot and lost, even tho I was the favorite to win.
--  Jamaica Joe's women's event, 2014, missed the 8 ball because I didn't stay down (was distracted) and lost important match to last until Sunday.

You may be thinking, stop reminiscing about those bad shots!  Hey, I LIKE thinking about them!  I WANT to think about them!  Why?  Because I learned so much from them.  They remind me to stay down, stroke more, stay present, be confident, breathe, have fun, and stay down.  (yes, I said that twice, lol).

These are GOOD memories of bad situations that help me remember what I need to do to WIN.

Not bad memories at all, actually. :)

So see, I'm not a bad friend thinking I hoped she lost it all for the team!  lol.  I have my reasons; for her pool journey!  :)

The Mathematics of Improving

It always find it interesting what people focus on and think of when trying to improve their game.

Someone told me last month, "I want to be your first Most Improved Player on the Omega Billiards Tour."

I smiled as I read that, knowing this player was working on hard on his game.

Then the other day a different Omega Tour Player was asking me about how the Fargo Ratings work, since we are using them for handicapping starting in 2017.  

I received the answer from Mike Page:

The system doesn't care about tournament results per se.   It also doesn't care about handicaps or anything like that.   So for example if you Melinda (529) played a match against Sky Woodward (778), and Sky won 10 games, the system would say based on your ratings you are expected to get to 2.    So if he beat you 10 to 2, your ratings would stay the same.   If he won 10-0 or 10-1, you'd go down a smidge (and he'd go up).   If he beat you 10-3 or 10-4, you would go up and he would go down.    

If you played Monica Anderson, you'd be expected to win 6 to her 4.    It doesn't care that you are a 6 handicap and Monica is a 5 handicap.  If Monica won a match against you in a Omega event with a score of 5-5, she would go up a bit and you would go down a bit.  This is not because she won the handicapped match; it is because she would have been playing even with you for 10 games when due to her lower rating she is not expected to... 

After I shared the answer with the player, and told him I hope it was helpful, his response took me aback!  

He replied, "Yep, helps a lot.  Tells me what I need to focus on, i.e. wins against higher ranked players…not just wins in general.  The other stuff will ‘happen’ because of that focus.  

He added later when I told him he had an interesting perspective, "You see, I need 26 points to move to the next level i.e. a 7.  (If I read everything right). 

If I focus on ‘getting’ that 26, then the other items just come naturally, i.e. finishing better in the tournament(s), getting ‘better’ overall, etc.

Goal oriented."

I was very impressed with how much he thought about what he needed to do now in regards to improving on the Tour now that we are using the Fargo Ratings.

He's right, it's no longer just simply wins versus losses or how one finishes in the tournaments. But he was clever to ask just how the process of the Fargo Ratings work so he could focus on the numerics of it all.

I love smart people!

Where I'm Meant to Be

I think one of the most amazing things I have experienced rising up in the ranks (so to be speak) is when you go from being nervous in certain points of big tournaments, to knowing you belong there.

I remember the first time it happened to me.  I was playing in BCAPL Texas State, and I had done well enough that I was coming back to play on the winner's side for the second day.

As I walked in, instead of playing on far back tables or scattered around like all the first day, each winner's side match was scheduled right up front.  People had already claimed their seats to watch their friends and players were warming up.

Normally in this position, my nerves ramp right up and I get butterflies, and my adrenaline starts to race just seeing where my table is in front of everyone.  But I had finally got to a point in my pool career that I actually recall saying to myself, "this is where I'm meant to be."

Wow, just typing that out makes me smile.  Gonna type that out again, "this is where I'm meant to be."

It was one the coolest things I have experienced.  I wasn't nervous at all.  I wasn't scared.  I truly felt okay to be playing in front of everyone on the front tables because that's where I was suppose to be finally.

Difficult to not come across arrogant to put this into words, but for SO long and YEARS and YEARS I would get nervous and feel pressure and pretty much fail before even getting to the table just from anxiety.

So to finally feel COMFORTABLE and thinking that's where I belong instead of chicken-shit-scared was so powerful and calming and a huge confidence boost.

And, haha, I actually didn't win that match nor placed real high in the tourney (I think that was the year I placed 5th maybe).  I still had a lot to learn along the way to finally win that coveted title.  But those thoughts and feelings that day sure put me on my way.

Goals Change as We Change

Goals change as our pool game improves. 

As we begin to get our feet wet in pool and start to live and breathe the game, we might decided to set some goals.  And you will soon see that your goals evolve along with your pool game.

In the beginning, these are typical goals of newbies: 

1. Join a league.
2. Get in the money of a two-day tournament.
3. Try to attend 3 out-of-town tournaments.

We get a little better and our goals mature right along with us:

1. Last til Sunday in a two-day tournament.
2. Attend all stops this year of the Tour in my area.
3. Learn something from every single tournament I play in this year.
4. Attend a big tournament in Vegas!
5. Watch more videos and read more books on billiards and mental toughness.
6. Move up in my handicap (if you are in a handicap league).

More improvement:

1. Become top shooter in my league.
2. Get top 3 in a big tournament.
3. Learn something from every single match I play in this year.
4. Gamble some to get more experience. 
5. Should I take lessons?
6. Get in the money at a big tournament in Vegas.
7. Have fun in every match (enjoy the game we love to play).
8. Stay down on all my shots.

We improve even more, so do our goals:

1. Get top 3 in the rankings of the Tour in my area.
2. Top 3 at BCA or ACS State tourney.
3. Place top quarter in the Open at BCAPL Nationals.

Then we get even stronger in our game and ability (and so do our goals):

1. Win a Tour Stop at least once this year.
2. Improve my mental toughness.
3. Become an Advance or Master player with BCAPL by placing well at BCAPL Nationals.

Then if and when you become top of your game, your goals could look something like this:

1. Play in a pro event this year and place in top half.
2. Place top 3 in Advanced or Masters division in Vegas (whichever one you happen to be in now).
3. Win 3 or more stops this year of the Tour in my area.
4. Play in Tours not in my area.
5. Place top 3 in the rankings of the Tour in my area.

And of course the pro level would be, maybe:

1. Win 3 or more big tournaments this year.
2. Become Tour Champion.
3. etc.

Pretty neat evolution, huh?

Goals are meant to encourage, and they adjust as we adjust in life as our pool game changes.  

As a reminder, goals need to be detailed and realistic.  I've written about this before if you want to check out information about setting goals. 

Good luck and shoot 'em well!