I have written before how when you run a Tournament and also play in one, that you have to be able to turn off your emotions immediately if you suffer a loss in a match to start back running the tournament.
There's really not much time to vent or internalize the loss. Because even though we are human, we have to kinda not deal with the loss and instead get to work right away and be professional at all times.
The thing is, this is really the case after ANY loss anywhere, no matter what you are doing.
Some people need time alone, or walk outside to scream (or cry), or some people bitch out their significant other because they are so mad. Or maybe we snap at a friend who witnessed the disaster, because we are embarrassed about our loss.
Or sometimes, we walk away from supportive friends instead of being nice, because we are SO upset with ourselves.
That's what I did to a dear friend in Vegas.
And I feel terrible about it.
I was I n the middle of a Monday morning winners side match when I saw a dear friend from Florida. I walked from the inside of the roped-area to give her a hug in the aisle.
She said she couldn't believe I had done that in the middle of my match, but don't normally get to see my friend Heather. I told her, "of course I would!"
I got back to my match and I am struggling something awful. My friend was super sweet to watch me in my match.
But because I should have already beat my opponent and was struggling, it wasn't a very pretty match for her watch lol.
We chatted several times quietly while my opponent was at the table, so we got to catch up a little.
After I lost, I was really pissed. I mean really pissed. I should have won. Ugh!!! I was very upset at myself.
I put my things together... AND LEFT!
I feel so badly.....I didn't tell Heather bye or thanks for watching or nothing. I was so upset with myself, I honestly couldn't speak, much less say anything nice.
And feel bad for just leaving like that. Not really like me at all.
I know she understands, but it's still not acceptable from me.
This how emotional the game is for us....