Disappointed My Team

Well, I didn't play up to par during the women's team event at ACS Nationals last week.  I know it's a team effort and there is no I in TEAM, but I know my teammates depend on me and I did not come through.

I don't know what was wrong with me, but I just didn't play well enough.  I was confident, but I didn't win enough games our last match and we went hill-hill and I lost.  But I should have won 2 of the other 3 games I played.

I am the best person to lose matches as I have the most experience and can handle defeat, but I still feel pretty badly about it.

I realize now I wasn't staying down well and I was thinking while down on my shots.  Just didn't play enough to work through that in time.

I admit I was bored, but I should still be able to perform well.  But, I didn't.  I feel I let the team down, but we did come from being down 6-1 to 9-8 before we lost hill-hill, so our team rallied really well!

I felt like they were disappointed, even if they didn't say so.  But, looking back, if any one of us had won one extra game we would have won that match.  So, I shouldn't beat myself up.  Plus, we played a good team.

I tried;I just wasn't playing well for some reason.  But, since that hasn't happened in a team event in several years, I admit it's shocking to me.  And stings.