Sunday, December 30, 2012

How I Looked at Defeats

I'll never forget around 2000 when I was at the BCAPL Nationals when a friend of mine said something really "weird" to me.

I was still wet behind the ears and really only just started to compete better without just being a ball banger.

What she said changed my perspective on the way I looked at losses and my competitors. 

I had just played a match where I lost and someone asked me about it.  I quipped, "they got lucky!" as I normally explained - blamed the other player and not taking full responsibility.

At that tat time in my life, I always thought most of the players I played against got lucky because I had missed balls and therefore they won because of my misses.  Lucky!

So, I see her in one of the long hallways at the Riviera and asked her how her singles match went, and I was ready to share how I had lost because the girl got "lucky."

"How did you do, Karen?" 

"Oh, I missed a lot of shots and gave it away," she admitted.  "I played bad."

I stood there in shock, while absorbing her words. 

Wait, did she just admit she was at fault?  That it was HER fault?

I didn't share the info about my match, because my way of thinking, I then realized, was completely misconstrued and incorrect!

I really loved that I had that exchange with her so I could see, finally, that my opponents weren't winning because they were getting lucky because of my misses, I was losing because it was MY fault.

Karen took full blame for her loss.  I, on the other hand, never did that.  It was a wonderful 'Ah Ha' moment for me!

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