Tip Tournament Director?

The other day I read a comment from someone on social media that suggested when you win a tournament, "Don't forget to tip your Tournament Director," or something like that.

Hmmm...

Well, if there's anything I've read on Facebook that I didn't agree with, this is something I definitely don't agree with.

Although there are a few exceptions, most everyone who runs a tournament is getting something already. I admit they aren't getting a lot, but they are getting something - whether it's free drinks during a weekly tournament or a free entry into a that weekly tournament, or even getting paid somehow during monthly tournaments or running a tour.

I whole heartedly admit that even if someone is getting paid to run a tournament or makes money from running tournaments, it's NOT a lot at all.

But, my personal belief is: it's already tough enough to make money at pool, so I say: "Congrat's on the win! (and keep that money in your pocket!)"

As a Tournament Director, I would rather receive instead is a sincere thank you in person or maybe a post on Facebook after the event expressing how much you appreciated how well the tournament was run.

I mean, sure, anytime $20 or $50 bucks thrown my way is a nice gesture, but I would rather the pool player keep that money.

I know, I know, some players are just super thoughtful or it's in their dna to want to give a little tip to the Tournament Director. I'm not saying to go against your personal beliefs, folks.

But I feel pool players shouldn't ever feel obligated to pay the Tournament Director. Sure, if you win 1,000G's you can remember me in your will, but otherwise don't ever feel obligated to tip a Tournament Director.

Saturday Versus Sunday Noise

There's a lot of things a Tournament Director handles that many of the players don't even realize.  And, by the way, this is just fine to us!  We would rather you all focus on just playing and not worry about anything related to running a tournament or the nuances of running a tournament.

One of the things players don't really realize is the noise level difference between Sunday play and Saturday play of a 2-day tournament.

Saturdays are JAMMED PACKED with players and spectators.  We are trying to whittle down from a field of around 100 to 24 (or less) the next day.  So, the majority of the players are there all day on Saturday wall-to-wall with only a handful of players left on Sunday.

Tiger Woods recently dealt with (again) a fan yelling during his swing.  You can read about it here.  

Golf is like pool on Sundays.  It's very quiet on Sundays of a pool tournament, less hustle and bustle and less players.  However - the crowd of golf is like a pool tournament on Saturdays.

Okay, let me get to my point before you all go leave me to go read the National Enquirer.

The point is, on Saturdays Tournament Directors are mostly focused on running the tournament smoothly and efficiently.  On Sundays, though, because there are less people around, less matches playing and less fans watching, the room is much more quieter - which means noises are more of a distraction on Sundays.  And that directly relates to a TD being more active to ensure there is less distraction for the players on Sundays.

Hear me out (of the irony of noise lol).  There is so many people around on Saturdays, literally elbow to elbow sometimes, that a full event seems like one big non-stop noisy atmosphere.  If someone was to fall off a chair, most of the room may not even know that happened.  But on Sunday it is so much quieter, more open spaces, less people, fewer matches, and that all leads to less noise.  And that person falling off the chair on Sunday makes the entire room suddenly look around because it was so quiet.

The article I referenced went on to talk about the tradition of golf and the quietness of that sport.  He asks, what if that changed, though?

The guy said, "Noise isn’t the enemy here. Silence is."

And that reminds me of Sundays of a pool tournament.  We get less distracted in a room full of people while we play our matches on Saturdays.  On Sundays, though, there is so few people and it's therefore so quiet, the poor, innocent guy who is just trying to place a food order gets under our skin because he seems so loud!  lol.

Negative Tourney Experience - The Danielson Series

Well, I didn't hear from Danielson again after this last tournament.  As I wrote last month, that means he probably didn't have a good finish.

And, he didn't.

Here's what happened from my point of view after hearing a few comments from him:  He wasn't happy with the tournament and therefore couldn't play his best with that distraction.

Danielson played in a tournament that he was already apprehensive about playing in because he had some concerns about how the tournament was being run. 

I can't stress enough that playing in a tournament where we feel respected, treated fairly, and appreciated for participating go A LONG way into our tournament experience.  We want honesty, openness and respect.  How can anyone have a good time if those things are missing?

Let's face it, it's already tough to compete.  We have distractions, dang mental toughness getting in the way, invisible pressure from the what ifs, distractions from home/personal life, players who shark, etc.  That's already a lot, lol!  But ADD to all that when we don't feel appreciated by the Tournament Director, makes one not even want to play.

That's a tough atmosphere to play in if you don't feel welcomed.  I'm not saying they are trying to kick Danielson out the door and I'm not saying the red carpet wasn't laid out for him (wait a minute - where was my red carpet??).  But what I AM saying is feeling comfortable, appreciated, respected, treated equally, etc., will keep us showing up even with the other distractions.

I wrote about this before back in 2011.  I highly recommend you take a moment to read that blog entry. 

Back then there was a group of pool playing bloggers who wrote about the same topic every month.  We called the project, PoolSynergy.  And that month we were to "write about any aspect of an event that you enjoyed and appreciated."  And I said:  "Well, for me, the best tournament experience is one where I feel appreciated and respected. That goes a long way to make the perfect tournament experience for me!"  And then I went into detail and gave real-life examples and situations.  Please go read it HERE.

How could Danielson play well under conditions were he didn't feel comfortable or respected about putting in his time to come compete?  He can't.  Well, he could - but it's super tough.

I applaud him for going to the event even though he had apprehensions and a gut feeling, because now those feelings are solidified.  And he wont have to waste money on that event any more.

What I'll Miss Most

There were many special things that happened personally for me over the course of running the Omega Tour for almost 6 full years that I am honored and blessed to have happened. 

Let's look at some remarkable parts of running the tour in detail that I cherished and will miss:

PLAYERS BECOMING FRIENDS:  New friendships, even some love interests, happened because of running the Tour.  And not to mention all the cool players I met who either I learned a lot from (about pool or personal things) and also who ended up being genuine good friends.  Had I not run the tour, I wouldn't have met all these wonderful people who are now a part of my life and for that I will be forever grateful. 

RESOURCES:  One of the cool benefits were the contacts I gained.  As I mentioned in a previous blog post, having access to so many different types of people allows one to find trusted resources of expertise we may need.  Like I now have a roofer, a friend who works on cars, a friend who helps me with house improvements, people who will lend a hand if needed when friends are sick, etc.

GAME IMPROVED:  The other thing that of course happened was my game skyrocketed because I watched so many talented players compete for 2 full days at a time for 8 to 12 times a year.  That's A LOT of learning that not many people get to witness!  I admit completely that part of my winning run for a few years was because I was able to watch patterns of the top players and also see how well they stay down with smooth strokes.  You watch great pool like that so often and so much, you gain such incredible knowledge that helps propel your game.  And I was lucky to be on the receiving end of that.

LEADERSHIP:  And another thing I truly loved was all the leadership I gained.  Talking at times to all the sponsors allowed me to learn a lot of the ins and outs of a business and why decisions were better than others.  Further, a lot of leadership opportunities also arose by running the tour when I interacted with the players.  There's a lot more to just running a tournament and going through the motions, it's also about personalities, and how to handle conflict, and dealing with issues professionally.  Huge opportunity and experience for leadership.

FRIENDSHIP:  The thing I'll miss most is talking with friends and getting to know them.  Even a few friends would come to visit me at the tournaments on Sundays, and we spent hours chatting and catching up.  We have decided to continue that in other arenas (away from smoke and pool rooms).  Further, all the players who helped me run the tour became really good friends and I will miss them.  Heather, Ginger, Jeff Georges, Dana, Duane, and Kara.  Even my bestie Amanda and I only really saw each other at the tourneys.  But I gained valuable friendships in all these people and I will miss hearing their advice, learning more about them, and enjoying conversations.  It's not to say I'll never see or talk to them, but the Omega was the Perfect Storm for all that conversing to take place.  And of course hosting birthday celebrations for friends who I normally wouldn't see was a pretty cool side benefit of running the Tour.

And no... none of this changes my mind about my decision to get away from the pool room.  But, many have asked me what I'll miss from not running the Omega Tour anymore, so wanted to share.

But, the distance wont stop me from still having great connections with friends!

Must Do Well to Move Up

As a tournament director of a handicapped tour I hear a ton of complaints when a player finally has their first real good finish. 

I get SO FRUSTRATED!!

Not because I can't handle the whining, but because do people not really realize that in order to move up you have to have a few good tournaments first??

Seriously - we don't know to move some up until they have a good tournament or two.  And the data (like Fargo Ratings) wont have the stats to prove to move someone up if the player hasn't a few good tournaments.

People don't seem to truly grasp that in order to move up, you need to place well a few times or place real high one time to finally be moved up.

Instead, everyone complains and bitches about their handicap when they finally have a good finish, "They aren't a 6" I hear over and over when a player is finally having a good finish.  Further, people don't see that the player themselves are trying hard to move up, too.  They practice, read articles, watch videos, all they can to move up.  And then instead of getting compliments of their great finish, they get complaints instead of kudos.

It's such a crazy thing that people don't really recognize or comprehend you can't move up without first doing well, lol.

Sweet Accolades

If you hadn't read yet in my blog, I announced I can no longer run the Omega Tour starting next year (read that HERE).

The loud begging for me to change my mind about running the Tour is sweet, but the outpouring of support about how I ran the Omega Billiards Tour has been really awesome and heart warming most. 

Here is one example I received via email that I thought I would share, because it really means a lot to me and really captures the type of feedback I am receiving:

"I was sad to hear that you were ending the Omega Tour. You did an amazing job and provided a incredibly organized venue for a huge community of pool players of all skill levels. What a success story! You should be very proud of what you've done all these years. To offer a tournament that constantly fills up months in advance is evidence of how everyone loved the tour. Now is your chance to take some well deserved time off.  I personally have enjoyed all the events I played in."

Such kind words.

No, still not changing my mind, lol.

But, truly, TRULY means a lot.

Second Place Needs a Hug, Too

Being the one who normally cheers for the underdog, I am the type of person that when someone loses (I wrote something similar before), I go to them first to show condolences, understanding and emphasize with their pain.

As a Tournament Director, I find myself doing this a lot.

Here's what happens:  It's the finals in the Omega Billiards Tour Stop and both players are playing their hearts out.  The crowd has their favorite player and are intently following their every shot and win.

When the dust finally settles, the eventually winner gets all the claps and congratulations!  While the second place player who also fought their way, doesn't get the same type of congrat's.

Sure, a few friends will tell them they did great, all the while that player sees the winner getting the high-five's and smiles from the crowd.

As the TD, I recognize this a lot and so I make it a point to go to the second place finisher first to give them the congrats that they deserve as well.  They are normally very disheartened and upset but a quick hug from a friend is never turned down - a normal hug is not returned, but I understand.

I also ALWAYS pay the second place finisher first.  It's my other way of still ensuring they know they did great, even if it wasn't the top prize.

Tournament Directors Put on an Act

I think one of the things that players may not realize is, is that a Tournament Director of a Tour has to always be their best, no matter what.

I'm not talking about doing things right or good during a stop, I'm talking about "acting" our best, no matter what is going on in our personal lives.

You see - we really have to act like things are great and be a good leader for the players so they have a great experience, even if in our personal lives something might be going on.

They say good leaders are the pulse of their employees.  If the boss comes in upset, usually their employees aren't jumping around for joy - instead they are not smiling, staying out of the way, being quiet, worried about upsetting the boss more, etc.  So, good leaders are aware that their actions and demeanor can directly affect the productiveness of their employees and also their mood.

During the last Omega stop, I had to put my work issues aside and show up with a big smile on my face and simply get my ass to work for the 123 players.  I had no time to sulk or be upset about my job situation, because the players needed me; because running the Tour is important; because the players' experience is important.

Can you imagine if I was to show up upset and in a bad mood?  That would be terrible for the players!

The same goes for our love life.  If a TD is going through a bad break up, divorce, whatever, we still have to show up and run the tournament smoothly - not cry in the corner and do a haphazard job because our hearts are broken.  Sure, when we leave the event we may cry all the way home (or celebrate, lol) but during the tournament, TDs put their personal lives and emotions on hold to run a smooth event for the players.

It's what all good TD's do.

The Toll of Verbally Angry Opponents

I unfortunately witnessed a very disheartening situation at one of the Omega tournaments this past summer.  As the Tournament Director of the tour, I am ashamed honestly to talk about this, but as you all know, I'm very open in my blogs and I feel that it's important to talk about all aspects of things. Even uncomfortable ones.

Plus, as a player myself I know these situations happen on other tours and at weekly tournaments, so this is not an isolated event.

Long story short, a player who has played on the Omega Tour for the last couple of 2 years has maybe lasted until Sunday in one event. That shows his dedication and the love of the game and that he isn't playing on the tour to try to make a living; he just adores the sport that much and keeps competing.

However, on this particular night, he found out that that love can be disrupted.

His opponent on this late Saturday night match had gotten upset at him and instead of keeping his anger internal, his opponent was pretty much throwing a temper tantrum, being vocal, upset and disruptive to him.  And as loud as he was, he of course was disruptive to players around him as well.

As the Tournament Director, I was summoned over to handle the situation. I basically told the two players to stop yelling and talking to each other and that they were not allowed to speak to each other again during their match.  I stood there and refed the rest of the match.  Honestly, I didn't really ref any shot -  I stood there looming over their table to ensure that they both stopped being verbally abusive to each other (they both had started to raise their voices at each other, each one defending themselves).

So what part of the situation disheartened me?  It was when the player who plays every tournament for the fun of the game because he loves the game, told me he's no longer having fun.  

It was like a punch to my stomach.

Although he was upset when he told me this, it is actually very unfortunate and very true that when you run across players who are verbally abusive or throwing temper tantrums or can’t handle their emotions, it makes it difficult to love playing the game; to even want to play anymore.

His exact words to me were, “I don't need these frustrations to play the game I love. If he wants the money that bad, I'll just give him the match so I don't have to deal with his bullshit.”

I don’t blame him - we all want a great, calm atmosphere to compete.  It’s already tough enough to handle our own emotions and thoughts, and then to throw in an outside force (rude player), makes it that much tougher to even want to play anymore.

However, we don’t live in shatterproof houses and we don’t live in daily life without discomfort.  My wish is that people would learn to handle their emotions more professionally.  They don’t realize how much of a positive impact it would be for everyone around them, including themselves.

Even though the opponent who got upset feels that he was “wronged,” he has absolutely that right to feel that way.  The problem is, he hasn’t learned yet a better way to control his emotions than raising his voice and being vocal and rude.

It just really made me sad to know that because some people do not handle their emotions well yet, that it almost convinces players to not want to play anymore at all.

TD Experience - Players Playing (or Not)

I mentioned on American Billiard Radio last week (we talked about the crowd), I could discuss every single week of the year a topic related to running a tournament.  Seriously,  lol.  Yes, my bucket of Tournament Director topics is definitely full.

Today I thought I'd share something that maybe others may not have thought of before. 

A couple of years after starting the Omega Billiards Tour, a player contacted me about signing up.  I had major reservations and was apprehensive to let him play.

I contacted the sponsor of the Tour to ask him, "Can I not let him play?"

You see, as a Tournament Director, we really do have the final say on who can play or not.  This is easier to enforce if you have rules and guidelines that you can point to, but if you think about it, all TDs have this final decision - whether running a Tour or a weekly tourney.  And it can make for sticky situations if you have an opinionated TD or a vengeful one.  As you can imagine, it helps both sides if there are guidelines in place that the TD or players can point to.

The Omega Tour had no such guidelines in place at the time.  Just normal 9-ball rules and suggested no sharking examples on the website.

Going back to this player - I am ashamed to say I didn't want him to play on the Tour.  I was too green to understand that his past should not affect his participation.  You see, he had been running a monthly tournament and it was found out he was STEALING from the break and run pot, and he was also not paying out what he should in the regular payout.  The players were very upset with him and when I verified the accusation with a friend of his ("Melinda, I wish it wasn't true," he lamented), I just didn't want this dishonest guy to play.

After sharing the background and my thoughts with the sponsor he tells me, "He should be able to play, Melinda.  It doesn't matter who he is away from the Tour, you can't tell him he can't play just because he has acted this way."

I have to say I have ALWAYS appreciated that I could have great discussions with sponsors.  Not only the Omega Tour, but the sponsor of the OB Cues Ladies Tour (Royce Bunnell), too.  They both have a business mentality and both been around pool their whole life.  They have great perspectives and it was comforting to be able to have a meaningful and productive discussion with them on topics that would come up.

And in this situation, Mike Hoang (owner of Omega Billiards Supply), it was no exception.

And he was spot on.  I can't just forbid a guy from playing because he was cheating others somewhere else.  I had to let him play.  Obviously, if he somehow stole from the Omega Tour, that would be different.

So, I told the player how to sign up, and here I am 4 years later writing about it.

And let me tell you that he has turned out to be one of the biggest proponents of the Tour!  He bids on people, plays good and finishes well, always promotes the Tour, the players like him etc.  While his errant ways was over 4 years ago, the players don't bring it up or even think about because he's not running the monthly tournament anymore (he was removed).  He was always a well-liked guy, just happened to get in some trouble.

I was definitely taught a lesson here.  :)

Pool Rooms Are Businesses

One thing that disappoints me, is when players talk badly about pool rooms.  This especially tugs at my soul as a Tournament Director.

I'm going to be very honest and confide that most of the pool rooms in Texas are not large, extravagant, amazing pool rooms.  But us Texans love that we have many pool rooms to choose from and we love them.

I think a lot of out of state players quite honestly are disappointed when they go to the pool rooms in Texas and see they all don't have a lot of space or a ton of great tables or high ceilings or non smoking, etc etc.   There are a few, yes, but not most in Texas.

However, no matter if our pool rooms are small and not pristine,  many other cities' pool rooms are closing down. In the Dallas Fort Worth area I haven't seen a pool room closed down in years. But I hear other cities pool rooms are not making enough business to stay open. So while the pool rooms may not be Design Pool Rooms Of The Year, at least they are creating business and places to play and staying open.

But when players bad mouth a pool room, I take it personal.  We are lucky to have many choices.  We are lucky to have many places to play the game we love.

On the Omega Tour,  we have a stop every single month in a different pool room across the Dallas Fort Worth area.  Pretty cool, huh?

But sometimes players will broadcast on Facebook-world that they think some pool rooms are dumps... while hosting an Omega Tour stop there that weekend.  Sure, people have their own opinion, but I personally think it's uncalled for.

You see, this "dump" is adding a lot money to the tournament, they are paying extra people to work shifts, and there are up-front costs to ensure the tables are level and sometimes they pay to refelt all the tables before the tourney.

Sure, you may not like the tables, you might not like the location, but they are still a company doing the best they can to stay in business!  And.... they are a sponsor, too. I think it's unfortunate and down right rude when someone bad mouths a pool room when they put in a lot of time and money for the players to have a great atmosphere and experience to compete.

Getting bad service and complaining about that is one thing.  But bad mouthing businesses because you don't like the place, I don't take well lol.

I fully admit this is my personal philosophy in life:  cherish more, complain less.  But, I'm also prolly tainted because I'm a Tournament Director, too.  :)

TD and the Calcutta

One aspect of being a Tournament Director is players and buyers come to the Tournament Director sometimes seeking advice or help to resolve issues that may have come up.

The thing is, the Calcutta part of a tournament is not really related to the tournament itself.  It's really an extra part of the tournament;  it's a bet, gambling.  And if you want to buy half yourself or if you want to ask a player if they want to buy half themselves, you to need to have a clear discussion between you two.

Any miscommunication that may occur, the Tournament Director cannot be involved.

I have talked to the sponsor of the Omega Tour several times about Calcutta issues and he reminded me that the Calcutta is gambling. And the players or buyers or fans who are buying players, they're gambling with each person that they buy.  And as with most bets in the world, the communication is always between the buyer and what you're betting on (in this case the player).  And clear, concise communication is key.

Think about this comparison:  if you make a bet with a bookie or you make a bet with a casino or even a friendly bet with a friend, if there is an issue after the fact or with the bet or the agreement,  it's always resolved between the two entities.

Also, I am extremely strict and only give the caclutta winnings to the person I wrote down as the buyer.  I am so strict about this that even friends I've known for 15 to 20 years, they know I have to have verbal confirmation if they want me to hand the envelope to someone else. For example, in the Dallas-Fort Worth area it can take you 2 hours to go across the Metroplex, so sometimes a buyer will have a friend pick up the money so that they don't have to drive all the way down to the tournament. It'll save them a long drive.  However if I don't talk to that buyer on the phone, I will not give their friend the envelope. This is a very strong rule that I follow.

I also learned from a crappy situation at another tournament. Long story short, a player who got second place told the Tournament Director that they bought half themselves.  The TD gave the player their half, they then bolted, and then it turns out he was lying and he did not buy his half at all.

So I have learned from this unfortunate experience of a fellow Tournament Director and I never give anyone their half.

I feel bad when players approach me late on Sunday about issues that have come up between the buyer and player.  I express empathy, of course, but that's about all I can do.

Bottom line is, all communication between the buyer and player is between themselves. So, please make sure it's clear!

Same Table, Different Response

I actually like writing about Tournament Director situations that come up.  I hope you don't mind reading about them.

At one the Omega stop this year, someone came up to me and stated in a loud, accusatory voice that they are playing on the same table their opponent just played on.

I expressed that we had over 80 players and only 12 tables, and so it was bound to happen.  At this point in the evening, we had no open tables to move him to.  And we try to keep the tournament really moving and it's not easy with only 12 tables and that many players, but we do our best.  He stood steadfast and was arguing with me about it for a bit.  I got upset internally and finally told him we would delay his match and put him on another table.

As he was waiting for a table to open up, he came up to me again.  Mind you, this conversation is going on in front of everyone within earshot or standing/sitting close by.  He asked me what I would do different and I told him I wouldn't have complained; I just would have played the match.  I expressed it would have helped if he just played on the same table.  Many players had to play on the same table throughout the day and didn't complain, and it would have been helpful to not delay matches and not cause a scene and just played on it.

The next day a player who had witnessed the exchange told me, "I don't know how you put up with some of these players and I don't how you remained calm last night.  I wouldn't have been so calm; he was a jerk to you."

Go forward a month and on Saturday of the very next Omega tournament, a player comes up to me after we call a match and he says, "Hey, Melinda.  I'm about to play on the same table as my previous match.  I just wanted to let you know, in case it's an issue.  How can I help?"

I looked at him dumbfounded and wanted to hug him!

I thanked him for not only letting me know, but also for the way he approached me about it and brought it up nicely to me.

This stop had 12 tables also but with 10 MORE players - 95 - so it was even tougher this next stop to try and get all the matches in.

I had a couple of extra tables open because it was really late on Saturday, but I was trying to move to one side of the pool room so the place could rent out tables to paying customers.  I asked his opponent if he was fine with the same table that his opponent had just played on and he said, "doesn't bother me - we are under the same conditions."

My point of this post is not to point out bad attitudes or to complain, my point is to bring up that as a Tournament Director, we have to deal with many different personality types while trying to run a large tournament.  Some people are kind and gentle, some are abrasive, some are complimentary, some are rude.

It just comes with the territory.  Part of the job.

I'm lucky I have had a lot of leadership classes at work in my 30s and so I try to handle the tough situations well.  Better than if I was in my 20s for sure lol.  I wouldn't be a Tournament Director with how immature I was back then with handling situations.

But, this experience is prolly like any customer service industry job.  They/We run into happy customers and also unsatisfied costumers.  My arena just happens to be mostly full of men with emotions and testosterone who are competing for money lol.

Be Careful Setting a Time Standard

I love helping people.  It's one of my favorite things.

One example came up over the weekend I wanted to share with you all.

Sunday night after the Omega tournament, someone wanted to go home and work right away on uploading some videos of recorded matches throughout the Omega tournament.

I gave him some sage advice based on my learning experiences as a Tournament Director:

I told him not to race home and stay up late trying to get the videos ready right away.  I suggested that he take his time - still do them this week of course - but not rush and stress himself out that night trying to get them online as soon as was humanly possible by staying up late.

Here's what I learned as a Tournament Director:  When we work hard/fast to get things done for others, people will tend to expect those same things in the same time period.  And when that time limit slips, people start to complain or ask a lot of questions.  Sounds like something you may have already experienced in life, I bet.

I was preparing things right away after tournament weekends and then posting them as soon as I could on the Omega website and Facebook.  Updated standings, uploading photos, writing the article, etc were completed and then posted right away, usually on Mondays, Tuesday at the latest.

At times, work was busy and so I had no choice but delay posting the results, standings, and photos until Wednesday. Maybe Thursday.

And by Wed, I'm already getting several inquiries.  Where are the pictures?  What happened to the photos?  Did any come out?  When are you going to put them online?

After one tournament, I had to go out of town for work the very next week.  By Thursday I was getting questions about the standings and photos.  I explained I was out of town and couldn't work on the items yet.

Everyone was fine with the explanations and very cordial about the delay, but it goes to show that my desire and excitement to get the updates to the players quickly after every tournament, led to disappointment from some of the players when I could not post them timely/quickly, as had become routine.

So, I was trying to help my friend out.  Because if he starts to upload the videos every Sunday night after a tournament stop, then that will become a standard expectancy.  The players and fans will get anxious for the videos, and then disappointed/complain when they aren't posted as quick enough like in the past.

So, thought I'd share these lessons with you all as well; it can relate to many aspects of our work and personal lives, too, right?

Article Knocking

As a Tournament Director I get a lot of complaints.  A lot of kudos, too, but also some complaints/concerns.

I heard this the other day:

"Well, since you sent the article in so quickly after I won the Omega Tournament, now people know who I am."

I replied something like, "Come on, everyone knows you already and they can look up your Fargo Rating by name anyway."

He laments, "I was hoping to sneak around for a little while longer.  And I have a big tourney this weekend."

Sneak?  Everyone around Texas and Louisiana already knows him, and he only plays tournaments.

I tried to express everyone already knows who he is, but he really seemed to think that article hurt him.  And I suppose to did up his calcutta bid during his next big tournament because they did announce he had just won the Omega, but still.... isn't that a normal cause and effect?

Although I felt a little bad about it, I then wondered, if you are worried about people knowing who you are, then why are you playing in the Omega in the first place and snapping it off?  lol

It's funny, when I don't send in the article timely, I get complaints.  When I do, I get complaints.  I already know I can't make everyone happy, but I was honestly taken aback because he already plays so good and his really high Fargo Rating proves it.  I was surprised he was even concerned about the article.

Some players are ecstatic of their write-ups and announced accomplishments, others, I guess not.

City Council Experience

I attended my first-ever City Council meeting earlier this month!

Can you say Mayor Bailey?  lol

Although I live in the Dallas-Fort worth metro-plex, I physically live in a very small city so we have our own small city hall, with a Mayor, and once a month they have city council meetings.

It has been on my (what I thought would be a very distant) to-do list to attend one of these to get more involved, and I finally had the time to attend my first time.  I attended more readily because my next door neighbor is the mayor and that helped break the ice walking into something completely new - I wasn't alone and sat with his wife.

It was a pretty interesting experience to say the least.

And ironically, it's just like running an Omega Tour!  Meet once a month, some people give kudos, some people get upset, issues are looked into or resolved, and it's for the people.

:)

Raised My Voice

I wrote just last month how a friend of mine suggested that I'm too nice sometimes to the players of the Omega Billiards Tour that complain a lot or cause issues.  My response and explanation I shared in this blog post (appropriately entitled:  Tournament Director Punching Bag) stated:

"I am of the opinion that it's not me being too nice, instead I am in a leadership role.  I am showing empathy and showing respect.  I am treating the players like I am a friend or maybe a mentor, and show understanding and let them talk and express themselves.

I think it's like running a business or being a supervisor.  And I wouldn't bitch out my employees or treat them with disrespect if they were upset.  I would show empathy, listen, offer advice (if a good moment to do so), etc."

Well, he was right.... I am too nice.  And, this past weekend I wasn't nice.

While I want to pat myself on the back for being the nice leader and treating everyone with empathy and respect, I found myself instead raising my voice over the past weekend.  I had two players "lay into me" and I couldn't take it anymore just standing there being a "punching bag," and I finally reacted.

I finally got fed up and raised my voice back at them.  Unfortunately the "discussions" were back-to-back so that didn't help matters at all.  While I might have HATED that I raised my voice, the reactions from the twp players were something I hadn't planned on:  they each stopped bitching at me as I "retaliated" and defended myself.

Basically, I let them vent to me for a while and just tried to be nice and calm in response, but inside I was upset and honestly, fed up.  I finally just couldn't take it anymore and raised my voice in defense of the tour and the decisions.  And told those two players that if I had the control to make things better, I WOULD.

I can't control mistakes, I can't control if a table rolls off;  there are just some things I can't control.  I feel like I am trying so hard and to get beat up on is tough to take sometimes.  If I could fix any of their concerns, I expressed to them passionately and with frustration that I would in a heart beat.

Because I was verbally abused for 25 years, I DESPISE raising my voice.  However, I simply couldn't handle the complaints, grumbling, and bitching at me any more.

I am disappointed in myself for raising my voice.  But I couldn't take being a punching bag that morning.  I just find it ironic, weird, and confusing that raising my voice finally stopped them from bitching at me.

Don't worry, this experience wont cause me to raise my voice a lot, lol.

Venting at the Position

A friend of mine got bitched out the other day from a teammate.  The players' feelings were hurt and by the time she let her hurt known, there was raising voices and pointing fingers and expressing pain.

My friend is the Captain of the team.

She was upset about the entire thing (who wouldn't be) and while expressing empathy, I also tried to tell her it comes with the territory.  As Captain, we are in a position to get yelled at and when feelings get hurt, or players are upset, they most of the time take it out on the Captain, the person who is "in charge."

Case in point is being a Tournament Director.  I get yelled out and chewed on a lot.  Players show their frustrations to me and cuss at me (yes) and get mad at their situation while raising their voices at me.  Or sometimes players send me day-long texts about why they are upset with the handicap system or what transpired that day they got upset.

It just happens to be the position we are in.  All Tournament Directors have an unwritten line in their job description that reads, "will be bitched at."  LOL

I get it.  I do.  Players lose, they vent.  Players get hurt, they vent.

Players are competing, it gets emotional, money on the line, rankings, etc.  I understand so completely about losing and venting.

While I admit it's tough to be on the receiving end and handle sometimes, I would rather players vent to me than to all their friends and bad-mouth the tour (or my friends' team as another example).

It's just the position.  And it's part of the "job."  It's not the time to take anything personal, retaliate, argue back, etc.  Sure, it bothers us.  As turmoil or conflict normally does.  But not taking the venting or hurt towards us personal is the true leader in ourselves.

Making Dreams Come True

"Good luck this week!! I know at times it will be stressful and players may complain, but remember you are making dreams come true, allowing players to compete and win titles they've dreamed of!  Adore you and all you do! "

I sent this message to one of my friends earlier this week.  She's running a big State tournament coming up and I know it's going to be a lot of work for her running the tournament and dealing with so many players.  She may also be on the receiving end of complaints, too, which may hamper her spirit. 

But I wanted to remind her that even though at times and she may not get a lot of appreciation, the bottom line is she is creating State Champions because of the work she is doing;  she's making dreams come true.

When I won my State Singles Championships, besides being overcome with amazing emotion, I knew that the reason why it was even possible for me to win those titles was because of all the hard work people do to run those types of tournaments.  It was truly the main reason why I was even a State Champion. 

Let's face it, all the years of training and preparing are for naught if there is no tournament to play in.  The dream or goal of becoming a State Champion are only put in our hearts and minds because of the people creating and running those State tournaments to begin with.

Think about it.

I, for one, appreciate their hard work!  As I know many others do as well (they just may not hear it often).

Tournament Director Punching Bag

I was telling a friend the other day that there have been some recent arguments and conflicts during matches (or after) during the last two Omega Tour stops.  I also mentioned a few players were giving me grief about handicaps.

He told me not to lose sleep over it because there will always be complaints about the handicap system and you can't make everyone happy.

He also confided that he didn't think that I would be able to handle running the Tour.  He said that I had thinner skin in the beginning (I did) and that he thought I was too nice to run a tour full of men because it was a handicapped tour, and those are the very hardest to run.

I thought it was really weird to hear.  I honestly never even imagined the Tour wouldn't be successful or that I couldn't keep running it.  Failure wasn't even a thought - it was always, "what can I do better for the players."  It was weird to hear that would cross someone's mind, as it never crossed mine lol.

He told me he was super proud of me and the Tour and was very happy to see it going well, thriving, and how I handle things (even I admit it's tough sometimes).

Another friend told me also I was too nice.  When a whiny player or venting player comes up to me and raises their voice, or vents, or storms off, he feels I should be harsh with them.  I am of the opinion that it's not me being too nice, instead I am in a leadership role.  I am showing empathy and showing respect.  I am treating the players like I am a friend or maybe a mentor, and show understanding and let them talk and express themselves.

I think it's like running a business or being a supervisor.  And I wouldn't bitch out my employees or treat them with disrespect if they were upset.  I would show empathy, listen, offer advice (if a good moment to do so), etc.

Are there times I wish players wouldn't yell at me?  Well, of course.  Do I wish I had super thick skin?  Yes.  But players venting to me or getting into arguments with each other doesn't happen all the time.  And every time a situation, conflict, venting session, etc, occurs, I learn from it.  :)