To recap my trip:
ACS Nationals 9Ball Women's Singles: Out in two
ACS Nationals 8Ball Women's Singles: 3rd place
BCAPL Nationals 9Ball Women's Singles: 9th place
BCAPL Nationals Open Scotch Doubles: one out of the money
BCAPL Nationals 8Ball Women's Singles: 17th place out of 388 players
CSI Straight Pool Challenge, Women's Division: 1st place!
BCAPL Nationals Women's Open Team: 1st place!!
While all my good finishes were (are still) amazing to me, the two weeks were also full of many personal heartaches. I have had a lot of "things" happen in the last 4 weeks where people questioned my character and integrity, and I learned that some people aren't really my friends after all.
I know in my heart I played badly the first event because I could care less about the world or pool. I was so upset with my "relationships" with friends that my mental game suffered. While I rebounded in my next event (and place 3rd in ACS Nationals 8Ball Women's Singles), I would find out even MORE things the following week that had me constantly crying in my hotel room, questioning my trust in friends, and questioning my faith in being a good person to the game of pool and in life.
The passing of my Mom in August has been very rough on me. I have barely survived. And then to be thrown to the wolves (so to speak) by people really took it's toll on me. I haven't been in this dark of a place in my life in a long time. If all these "situations" would have occurred over the course of a year, I wouldn't have been so upset. But because they all happened with 4 weeks of each other, I seriously couldn't handle it.
Seriously.
Only a few friends knew what was going on with me internally, and how bad it really was. I didn't want to share my sorrows even more; I am already expressing almost every day how terrible it is without my Mom.
But I WAS upset. Very. Still am. Hurt. Beyond words.
However, all this going on, how did I manage to play pool? And play somewhat successfully?
As we know, pool is mostly mental.
My teammate Monica helped me with the answer, by asking me this question: "What was your goal this year?"
The answer was simple: My goal was to give myself the best chance to play well.
I didn't have a goal to "finish in a certain place", or to "do well in the tourneys." My goal was instead to get rest, not stay out late, not get drunk a lot, and get sleep so that I would give myself the best chance to play pool well.
I know I play best when I'm well-rested, and not hungover. I know that I think clearer and have a sharper mental game when I have had sleep and am NOT exhausted. I know that I execute my fundamentals and pre-shot routine best when I am rested (I get lazy when I'm tired).
I took naps, rested a lot, didn't stay out late, only drank twice the whole two weeks, and did a lot of things to prepare my mental state full of good things: I sat by several casino pools, walked along pretty gardens in the casinos; took in the atmosphere of The Mirage (it's beautiful there); ate properly during the day and before matches; rested a lot in my room and took naps when needed; ate lunch or dinner with good friends. You can see the theme here: being proactive to achieve a good mental aura.
Ahhh... The Mirage pool/waterfall.
The Tropicana, so serene, right?! ACS was held here.
Baby dolphin!! At The Mirage Casino
The Riviera pool, where the BCAPL was held.
So, that was my goal: give myself the best chance to play pool well by taking care of myself.
And, it worked.
My only wish was my Mom was still alive so I could share my accomplishments with her. I know she'd be so proud of me.
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