The Cueist - Funk with Life/Pool and Who Helps

From The Cueist:

So, I've been in a bit of a funk lately. Not just pool-wise, but just with things going on in my life and around me. Not a depression-type funk. But, still a funk nonetheless. Coincidentally, I found myself wanting to go to the pool rooms more often. Maybe not to play, or get in action, or play a tourney. Those things are nice, sure. But I went to the pool rooms just to go hang out with friends I've made over the years. From all walks of life, ages, colors - this beautiful game that we love to play has a way of bringing people together.

I remember being younger and being in the pool room practicing 6-8 hours a day when I wasn't working. There were always 2 "old timers" there having coffee. Being that I was in my early 20's, I'd say hello, chat with them a while, then go practice. See, I love talking to these "old timers" in the pool rooms. Some of these guys have been in the pool rooms for 50 years and have seen many different things both inside the pool rooms and outside of the pool rooms. Some are veterans, some are millionaires, some are widowers, some are former top players. 

While I'm not at the "old timer" status yet, I have seen my fair share of things at the pool rooms. Been a part of many stories that I'll be able to tell years from now.  Learned life lessons in the pool rooms that apply to personal and business life. And most importantly, I've made friends from all walks of life that I enjoyed visiting with during this "funk" of mine. 

Much to my surprise, these friends of mine knew something was going on with me right off the bat. See, this is how much we've gotten to know each other over the years. And almost all of them offered great life advice. But when it came to advice on how to get out of the pool slump, they all pretty much said the same thing.....don't take pool so seriously. All of us are so competitive that sometimes it's easy to get engulfed in the pool scene and become overwhelmed. Next thing you know, you're not playing your best because of the pressure, then you get down on yourself, and then you may end up quitting the game that you loved so much. 

My point is this....while we all want to see results on the pool table after hours and hours of practice. Don't forget that time away from the pool table is just as important. Once you get past that hump in your pool game and remember why you fell in love with the game again, I guarantee that you'll be playing great again! 

And be sure to say hi to those "old timers" at the pool room next time. You might be surprised to learn a few things from them, not to mention hear great stories.

When Pool Chalk Saves Your Life

My very dear friend, Julie Collins, is extremely special to me.  She's one of those friends that because of her caring actions and beautiful choice of words, makes you feel deeply loved.  She has made an impact on my life in ways I can't express - I learn a lot from her and adore her.

I wrote about her a couple of times before in my pool blog (see this link and then also this link) and we try to meet up about once a year to do something fun and memorable - me not playing pool anymore wont keep us apart!

My dear friend was in a pickle back in the Summer.

Luckily, she is extremely resourceful!

Let me set the scene and share her words from social media:

She was driving home and her A/C went out in the car.  It didn't matter she had a convertible - it was early July and it was a very hot day with not a cloud in the sky, and no wind or breeze either.

And then she ran into this:

Turns out there was a bad accident many miles ahead of her (an 18-wheeler on the Interstate was engulfed in flames), so there was a long backup.  Everyone who was driving northbound on I-35 that day in North Texas was being diverted to another highway, which caused extreme traffic (as you can see in her photo above).

What do you notice about her photo, though?  Is there something you see out of the ordinary?

Yep, she took the photo from the side of the road.

What was she doing there?

Here is her story:

 She posted this very 'soft' post on her FB page:

"Got stuck on the Interstate. The closure is due to fire. Both myself and my car were overheating. I'm being transported back to my home base by this kind constable.

If I'd been unable to get under an overpass, I might have, literally, been toast!'

The reason I say it was a 'soft' post was because she didn't exclaim or scream or overreact about the situation - she simply shared, very calmly, what happened to her, and that she was thankful for something.  I really love this about her - she shares, but doesn't overreact or even draw any unnecessary negative attention to herself (ever). Even though in reality she had been in dire straits this day!

Btw, this was her next photo, her rescuer - The Constable!

It seems like she could easily be being hauled off in cuffs in the back of that police car, lol, but no, no - instead, he saved her!

I am going to share now her exact comments to friends who commented and asked questions, so you can see what truly happened to her that day, what a scary situation it really was, and how this all relates to pool:

"He [the Constable] heard the call someone needed help and drove down the wrong side of the closed freeway to reach me."

Someone ask her how her car was: 

"The car will be fine. I stopped in that shade when I saw my situation."

Another friend exclaimed "Thank goodness you were rescued!" To which she replied and shared: 

"Yes! I'd already resorted to writing on a paper plate with a cube of pool chalk to get cold water bottles from people who were creeping by. I'd stopped in the last shade I was aware of and wouldn't risk going further, then having it stop again completely, which it did."

Another friend complimented her on being so resourceful. She replies:

"I wasn't too proud to call for help. It could've gotten bad really quick. After people gave me ice cold water and I cooled off my brainstem, I decided I'd be better off ANYWHERE else."

I asked her how she was feeling and figured it had to be scary, to which she confided openly to all: 

"I love you too, Melinda. I am feeling better, and it WAS scary. I'd gotten to where my fingers were tingling, my head was dizzy and my arms and knees were weak. It could've gone really wrong, and I'm very thankful for the folks who jumped out and handed me ice cold water bottles. I used them as cold compresses on my brainstem, and poured them over me as well, lol. Before bed I took a long salt bath to help replenish myself.

That experience really has me rethinking driving this car anywhere long distance this summer, during the heat of the day."

And after the many thank you's to everyone for the sincere concern and glad she was okay, she ended with: 

"Spent the day very glad that I had that cube of pool chalk!!"

💙

Us too, Julie. Us, too.

Life Happens - Danielson Series

I played pool for 25 years.  Not just casual pool, but dedicated on leagues and traveled around playing in big events and followed a few pool tours.

So, I have a little bit of experience with what I'm about to talk about.  Just a smidgeon (sarcasm on, lol)

You see, there is a reason why I have not blogged that much this year about Danielson.  Life happens.

Yep, Life.

And life is important!  And life events sometimes keep us away from pool.

For me, life moments that kept me away from pool were all the normal "big" life things.  I got married in my mid 30s and that kept me away from dedicating myself to pool as I started my "new" life with my then husband.  When we divorced, pool was back on top of the list!  When my Dad passed and then 5 years later my dear Mom passed, both of these life events put a pause on my pool playing days.  Most recently, stopping drinking alcohol has kept me from playing pool. (one year and 8 months as I typed this, yay! :)

These are all big "life" events that make us take a back seat to dedicating our time to playing pool.  Our focus is on other things going on in our lives.

And guess what?  Yep, it's all normal!

So, Danielson recently changed jobs.  That is a big life event that has curtailed his pool playing time.  Further, he is working hard on paying off some big bills.  His priority has shifted a little bit right now and so pool is not on the forefront of his mind.

Again, this is normal people!

We all go through big life events in our pool journey that sometimes derails our quest to play pool often.  And what I found, is each time I got back into pool, I played better and was more knowledge and more mature.

It's normal for people to take breaks for life events.  I know a few guys who took like 15 years off from playing pool to help raise their kids.  And now they are back, playing good still.  Several other friends moved and/or had kids - all things that require us to take a break from pool, right?

But remember, if you are going through a life event, don't fret about the game you love - pool will come back if you want to play again.  :)

I'm Baaack!

It's not like me to take a hiatus from blogging.  I actually had a couple of people tell me they missed me.  How Sweet!   Oh wait, they missed my blog posts, not necessarily me lol.  :-/

Well, what was up with me?

As I shared before, I only blog after work hours at my desk.  So, if I'm not blogging, there is a DIRECT connection to that.

Most of April I was with my friend Dave, mostly visiting him after work because he was not doing well with the affects of brain cancer.  And then in early May I was with him every day while he was in hospice.  He passed away on May 7th.  Pretty tough time.

May 10-19th, I was in Vegas helping out at ACS Nationals.

When I got back in town, around May 29th, I was the lucky soul who got an infected root canal.  Fun times!  I do NOT recommend it.  I was out most the rest of the next week.

The infection didn't go away with the first round of antibiotics, so they had to put me on a stronger dose.  I had no idea that strong antibiotics causes one to feel ill.  So, I didn't stick around work to type up blogs while feeling horrible and lethargic.  Sorry!  I know, where is my dedication??

Then I went to Maryland for work for a week, which again kept me away from my blogging desk.

So, finally, I am feeling well enough to hang out after work and blog for you peeps.  Did you miss me??  

Blog Has Grown With Me

I find it interesting the path my blog has taken in the last 12 years.

I went from simple stats after a tournament, to pain-staking-details-to-the-reader of every match during my tournaments, to lessons learned, to giving tips, to sharing things I experienced, to insights/observations, to leadership, to people and feelings.

The blog has grown with me. From the fish out of water trying to play pool, to the confident, more honest person one sees today.

I used to not share the details of my personal life and feelings in my blog, now I am an open book and share things a lot more than I ever expected I would. From the depressing or tough learning experiences to the feelings we go through during defeat. I also talk more about "life" things, ie. even death. I love how my blog has evolved from "who is this girl?" to "look at that woman."

Life is about learning from our experiences, and making experiences happen. Not sitting around thinking of our dreams, but going for them.

Look at your own pool journey. You aren't the same immature player/person, you are more mature, too. Don't you just love yourself more? I do. And you should, too!

Competing Helps Real Life

The other day I received an email from a dear friend.  In it, he told me, "I applaud your devotion you had for you Mom.  All the tough situations you went through, the heart you've developed as a pool player was invaluable to help you through it all."

I admit I wasn't sure what he meant.  So, the nosey person in me asked him.

And he replied with words that I'm still shocked by:

"It means the resilience that you have developed as a pool player - the ability to overcome adversity, pick yourself up, and get going again - helps you in difficult situations."

Did he really just say all that?

It sure does put quite the spin on just "competing" in pool (or any sport), doesn't it?

While I didn't see that in myself over 4 years because of the grief and depression I could barely climb out of bed for, it's been pointed out to me on numerous occasions that ALL my big title wins were during those years.

It's funny though, that he said this, because I actually never thought of that and usually see the reverse:  When I find myself in a pressure situation in a tourney or I'm in the finals of an event, or I can feel the adrenaline moving through my veins and pumping my heart feverishly, I sometimes use life learning experiences to calm myself down:

"This is /nothing/ Melinda.  You found a loved one pass away. "

or, 

"Why are you so nervous?  You had to speak in front of 200 people you didn't know through sobbing tears and absolute heartbreak about your Dad after he passed."

So, to read his take on the reverse - using what I learned in pool to help me through adversity in life - is not only huge compliment because of the words he chose ("heart," for example), it's also because I never really thought of that before.

P.S.  I was reminded that A Mind for Pool by Phil Capelle touches on this.  :)