Newbie Jitters

I started a new league last night.

I joined it so I could play scotch doubles in the Open division at BCAPL Nationals in July.

I know every player on my team.  I know four of them well and are all friends, so that is cool.  We have two girls total on the team (including me), the rest are guys.

I have to admit - I was SUPER nervous for some reason!  And I played like it, too.

My teammates were hitting balls on the table before we started and my captain asked if I wanted to hit balls.  I said, "no, I'm good."

He replied that they always do to get used to the tables.  I told him, "This is my home bar on my Thursday league - I know them well.  But,I don't normally hit balls before I play on league night."

(It's just my M.O.  Not saying it's right, it's just me.)

I'm up first and after they call my name my captain says, "Let's get it, Girl."

I immediately felt pressure!

Wow, really?

I know that it seems like an innocent comment, but there's more to the story.  I have known him for years and he has a tendency to be negative and also overly sensitive to expressing his concerns about winning and losing.

In that first game, I miss a long straight-in shot. 

As I sit down, he says kinda with a smug attitude, "See, should have hit balls on the table."

I explained, "I didn't miss b/c I didn't hit balls."

I actually was fairly nervous.  I felt out of my element and felt pressure.  I also felt very "off" right away.

I won that game, but lost the next 3.  Every time I had to play he would say something as I walked to the table.  It never felt like encouragement, it felt more like pressure.  It's difficult to explain.

But, I was missing balls I should never miss.  I was pretty disgusted.  And it wasn't because of his comments - I was just not playing well.

A player on the other team commented after my first win, "you have a good, smooth stroke, Young Lady."  And yet I played badly after that, lol.  I could hear them talking, "Oh, I can't believe she missed that one ball," etc.  Heck, in my head I was saying the same thing, lol!

Then, each time I was near my captain, as he kept score, he would make comments:

"We need this game."

"OMG we are down by two."

"We need to step it up."

"What is going on?"

"Now we are back down by two again.  Sheesh."

He was sweating so much over the score, that it really affected me.  And every time someone would get to the tables, "Come on we need this game," he would beg.

It didn't feel like fun at all.

I felt pressure because I'm only playing to get weeks in but I can see they want me to win a lot, lol.  I mean, that's a given, but WOW.

I then won my last game with a rack and run so that was real nice!

We ended up winning 13-12 and everyone was excited, but at the end of the season we go by total matches won, not how many league nights we won.  So, not sure why everyone was excited, lol.

I can tell it's going to be a lot of pressure and nerves to play on this team.  I am going to have to sit away from the captain to remain away from negatives.

I found it ironic that he would kinda push us, but he was not winning a lot of his games himself.  I kinda felt like I let him down, but honestly, I was disappointed in myself. 

I was missing balls I never miss - even easy shots.  It was a rude awakening for my game, lol.

I then went back to my fundamentals that I had been working on the last couple of years and it helped that last run.

Still gonna be tough Tuesdays....  but, as I see it - it will be good to play under those conditions.... to test me.