Being a Leader Takes Self Reflection

One of the humbling lessons I've learned running the Omega Billiards Tour is it doesn't matter my personal distaste for a player or not, I must be cordial and nice to them.

But, it even goes beyond that. 

A player who has never played on the Omega Tour signed up in February for a stop in July.  Seems no big deal right?  Happens all the time.  However, I just happen to have history with this guy.  And not good history.

He is the one I wrote about last year ("The Clapper") who was rude to me during a tournament.  Read all about my emotions and his unethical behavior here.

However, running the Omega Billiards Tour is just like running a business.  And running a business well takes leadership, learning from mistakes, and treating everyone with respect.

It wouldn't be proper for me to deny his entry fee because he pissed me off last year.  That would have been unethical on my part. 

Confession:  The thing is, I have not treated all players equally or fair the entire time of running the Tour. 

I unfortunately learned from my upbringing to ignore people when they've upset me.  Learned this well from my Mom; she didn't speak to one neighbor ever again because of a comment he made about her in 1980.  Throw in that I'm female, and it seems to be part of our DNA.  You know the joke - guys get into an argument and are friends in 5 minutes; girls get into an argument and don't talk to each other for 5 years, lol.

Whether clique or not, it's not right to ever ignore anyone because you are upset at them or because they hurt you.  Sure, it's a "normal" defense mechanism we use to protect ourselves, especially right after we feel hurt.  But when running a business, it's really not the right thing to keep doing. 

When I first started the Omega Tour over five years ago, there were a couple of players I was upset with, and so unfortunately I wasn't nice to them.  I wouldn't really ignore them, but I wasn't real friendly and I was cold to them and barely made eye contact because I was hurt by their actions in the recent past.  I was also rude to a couple of players when I ran the Ladies Tour.

You might think ignoring people because they might have hurt you or because you don't like them is childish and rude.  And well, you are right!

Every single time I did that, I was WRONG.  It was a VERY unprofessional, rude, and unacceptable behavior on my part!  I am still ashamed how I acted.

However, I have luckily realized my actions were wrong.  I don't care what history we had or if I'm still upset with a player for something personal, the bottom line is I run a business and I need to treat everyone with respect.

"The Clapper" played this past weekend and we were both kind to each other and there were no issues.  And I also wasn't a bitch to him - NO reason to act like that at all.  I was a professional.  I was a leader.  And it felt good.

The point is, no matter your position, always treat people with respect.  And as a Tournament Director, this leadership position for sure means I need to act like a leader, and not like a child. 

First Impressions Go a Long Way

As in anything in life, customer service is key.  Respect for customers is key.

The other day a friend of mine recommended me for a pool lesson.

By the time I got the player's contact information, he already had a set time for a different instructor (he was eager for lessons).  I told him I understood and so we set a date/time to meet about 2 weeks later.

Then a few days later he calls me back.

He shares that he hates to go back on his word, but the guy he was suppose to meet up with that week had not called him back in days, when he did call initially he didn't respect his time, he over-talked him on the phone, and he just didn't seem very cordial at all.  The player decided that since I was more courteous and responsive, he cancelled the appointment with the other guy and met up with me instead. 

As the quote above states, "First impressions last."  And that can be a positive first impression or a negative one.

First impressions are so important.  This was very evident in this situation - the instructor lost the chance to provide lessons because of that.  Normally when we think of first impressions we think of what we might wear and how we will act and our body language, etc.  Remember, though, the very first contact (phone call, text, email, etc) - that's crucial, too.

Checking Racks of Friends

I had a very interesting conversation with a player the other day.  He was basically saying there are two people he plays regularly that he completely respects their game and never checks their rack.  However, as much as he respects their game, he has noticed that he doesn't quite make as many balls against one of them anymore and he's wondering what is going on.

He shared that he felt like if he checked the rack of this one particular person who he deeply respected (mutual respect, too), that it would actually come across as disrespectful.  And he wasn't quite sure what to do about it.

I took in all of his words and concerns and I expressed my thoughts:  I told him that he needs to do what he needs to do to win his matches.  And if looking at the rack for a split-second will make him feel better about the rack or see if something's going on (like balls aren't touching or crooked rack), that he needs to that. 

I also shared with him that I don't think the other player would consider it disrespectful or even notice anything different.  The player I was talking to looks at everybody's rack anyway.  And he doesn't take a long time doing it - he probably looks at the rack for less than 2 seconds.  He kinda walks by briskly and peers into the rack and then walks quickly away to break.  I think if he studied the rack and was down their deciphering it to death, then yea, the guy would notice all of a sudden.

I'll let you know after they play or match-up against each other if he did indeed check the guys rack quickly or not and how he felt about finally doing that.

But you gotta do what you gotta do and sometimes think of yourself, even if your opponent might feel disrespected.  But I can tell you that I honestly feel this guy won't even care that his rack is being checked.  He knows it's part of the game.

What's also interesting about this is not only that he feels he might make the opponent feel disrespect, but what that makes HIM feel.  It's a fact that affecting someone else's emotions can have a personal effect in you.  And when competing, we need to not be distracted how the other person is feeling because it takes away from our own focus.