If You Can't Say Something Nice....

In early April I shared some of my most helpful tips with Katniss of things she can do when she has that self realization during a match she is having negative feelings or emotions (here's the link to the blog post).

To recap, to help curtail negative feelings and emotions, simply follow these three important things:

1. focus on 3-ball shape, 
2. focus on your pre-shot routine, and 
3. stroke on your shots more.

Ironically, just about a month later, I saw a friend of mine playing on a stream and I could tell immediately just by the way she was shooting that something was off - either she was nervous or felt pressure, something was bothering her. Whatever it was, it affected her mechanics. She wasn't staying down on her shots, not walking around the table, and shooting much faster than I'm used to seeing her shoot her shots.

I reached out to her about a week later and broached the subject carefully. She was open to suggestions and then I gave her the same advice on how to calm negative emotions. (They really are great, solid tips that helped me for years!)

Fast forward only a month later, and my friend shared a story with me.

She shared that she watched a fellow female pool player (a friend of hers) playing on a stream on a Sunday afternoon.  And what do you know - she noticed and recognized right away that her friend was also not playing up to par and wasn't playing like she normally plays. Turns out she was feeling a lot of pressure and had a lot of nerves because of it.

She reached out to her friend a day or two later and passed on the advice that I had just given her a month before!

But, there is more to the story than me tooting my own horn, lol. There is actually a greater learning lesson here.

What I thought was more intriguing with what she shared with me, was that her friend told her no one had given her advice on how to solve her nerves... All everyone else did was just tell her how badly she played.

Poor girl!  Ugh, I felt so bad hearing this.

But... how powerful is this reminder!

If you 're going to bring up something to someone that is negative about them, instead of just making rude remarks, make sure you bring to the table something that is beautiful, something that they can learn from, something that is positive about the topic you're about to bring up.  Don't just dog them; help them!