Reactions When Bothered

Last month two players were having a verbal altercation during their match.

As the Tournament Director, I intervened and told them to stop talking, only play pool, no more breaks and to not do ANYTHING (move or talk) while their opponent is at the table.

Turns out one of the players was bothering the other player by mumbling while his opponent was trying to shoot, moving, and going to the bathroom more than once.  So, it got under the players' skin.  By the time he finally spoke up, he was pretty vocal and it became an argument.

Afterwards, I overheard someone say that the player should have told his opponent right away that he was bothering him, and then he wouldn't have reacted as he did (upset at the guy).

I told the guys talking that while I agree, sometimes that's very tough to do.  You don't know until it's too late that a culmination of things have bothered you to the point you have to speak up rudely.

Or, maybe the first bathroom break was no big deal.  Maybe the first movement was no big deal.  Maybe by the time he heard the mumbling, it was already too late to bring up his concerns "early."

And while they thought he shouldn't have reacted so upset, in my opinion while I agree, sometimes we can't control it as our emotions are swirling and we feel like a poked bear.  And when we finally do speak up, it isn't pretty.

Not everyone handles their upsetness with calmness.  Especially when competition is on the line. 

I don't necessarily mean that raising your voice is "right" or "correct" but I will defend that fact that everyone handles being upset differently under different situations.

BTW, after the match they talked and the one player apologized for bothering the other player.  He admitted he had no idea and felt bad about it.