Sharing: Accolades from Interviews

One of the main reasons I wanted to conduct interviews (dream goal!) was to share obstacles pool players have overcome.  I usually always choose someone who has been through a tough time in their life, because I want us all to learn from them. And it puts a more human aspect to the player, right? They aren't just a pool player you see across the poolroom, but someone who has been through something tough, and also overcame it.

That's why it meant so much what Charlie 'Papa Red' Smith said a couple of years ago and now what another friend said about my most recent interview.

Charlie said this: (if you don't recall and we can relish together :)

"I want to thank Melinda Bailey for the article she did on me in Billiard Buzz. To be considered was an honor for me as an average pool player and individual. Melinda Bailey did a great job in asking the questions and the whole writing of the article. If you ever have the privilege of being asked to let her interview you, do it. The more we learn about our friends and their struggles in life and playing pool, makes the pool world a tighter family. IMHO. I think Melinda Bailey missed her calling by not being an Professional Interviewer.

Thanks again Melinda Bailey!"

The other player, who commented on social media about the recent Jeremy Jones interview, has been mentioned in my blog before.  Check out our discussion about the rabbit!

This is what he said this time:

"It’s amazing the way JJ has diversified his passion for pool and, for sure, deserves every single recognition that's out there.  His analysis when commentating is second to none and reflects the tremendous knowledge he has.  What he’s doing for the kiddos is remarkable, and in my dictionary, that's the difference between a regular guy and a true professional.  I’m just looking forward to read his first book: “One Pocket: table reading and shot selection-decision making process” 😎  To him and his family, my congratulations.

As for you Melinda: 99% of conversations at a pool hall are about money matches, hustling, tournament results, and tips for this or that.  If you check the table of contents of your magazine, all articles are exactly about the same topics… all, but yours.  I’ve realized about your vision to humanize the game.  Reading from you is refreshing because you go further and deeper in your interviews trying to find out the personal reasons behind their success.  Your interviews are a motivation to all those children who are looking for reasons to love the sport we are all passionate about.  We need more people like you out there doing what you do.  Keep it up lady, you're making a difference! And for all that, thank you.  "

I hadn't even thought of these two aspects the gentlemen mentioned about the interviews:

1. "The more we learn about our friends and their struggles in life and playing pool, makes the pool world a tighter family," and 
2. "...to find out the personal reasons behind their success."

It's really cool to see how my dream has led to even more benefits for the readers and our sport that I hadn't even thought of!

Thanks to both of these guys for sharing their thoughts. Really, truly means a lot.

Please Praise Players for High Finish

I think it's very unfortunate and sad the way players complain about lower handicapped players.

Because the Omega Billiards Tour is handicapped, you can imagine that it is the number one complaint.  But, the complaints aren't just to me, but to the players, as well.

If the Tour wasn't handicapped, the comments wouldn't be quite as personal or rude to their fellow players.

BTW, the reason the Tour is handicapped is so all levels of players can compete.  This was the sponsor's biggest passion for the tour, and it has proven successful because we have full fields over 90+ players, 12 times a year.  Sure, a non-handicapped tour would also be successful, but it would not garnish 90+ players ever month, every year if the same players keep winning all the cash.

However, let's just ponder a moment IF the Omega Tour was non-handicapped.... I personally think the players who were lower ranked would not get "bullied" for performing well, instead they would be given praise by their fellow players.

On Sunday last weekend of the Omega stop, a few players were talking about a 5-ranked player and a 6-ranked player who were having a good day on Sunday (one placed 5th and the other placed 7th).  It was each their very first time to even make it to Sunday!  Yet some of the players were not happy for them or congratulating them, instead they were questioning their ranking.

I think this is in direct relation to the Tour being handicapped.

Unfortunately.

Dang it.

At some point, everyone's game improves and we have a few good tournaments before we become consistent.  And these out-of-the-ordinary-tournament-finishes are a gem in our journey where we finally finish decent.  And I bet you weren't badmouthed, talked about on the sidelines, or questioned.  I don't know if you were congratulated per say, but I bet your finish wasn't diminished by the whispering of "he's under rated; how is he doing so well; he should move up; he's definitely not a 5;" etc.

Again, every player who finally has a good finish should be given a pat on the back for their first-time-to-place-that-high for them.  Not to feel ashamed or embarrassed for their ranking, or felt they only placed that high because their handicap is too low.

Give these players some respect for their first-time high finish!

I have been harassed openly on social media for being an Open player.  It was NOT a fun experience and yet it's not the players fault for their ranking - it's the system being used or the Tournament Director's decision.  To harp on the player or about the player is just so unfair and ridiculous.

Why not PRAISE players for doing well?  HELP them in their journey.  Don't discourage them with snide remarks or even joke to them about their ranking.  Instead, pump them up and congratulate them for their great finish that they have struggled to achieve for years! 

Do good, not harm.

High Five Timing

While I didn't play in the OB Cues Ladies Tour this past weekend, I did drop by Saturday evening and Sunday to say my helloooo's, see some friends, and watch some of my friends play the game we all love.

One of my friends from Oklahoma was in a tight match Saturday night.  She pulled out the win, but it wasn't easy.

I saw her walk outside after the match and I decided to go see how she felt about it.  She was leaning against the wall, and I could tell she was exhausted, trying to cool off, and also trying to get away from the smoke.

As I walked up to her, I held up my palm for the cordial high five congrats hand slap, and JUST as our hands met, her opponent comes walking out the door!!  Of all the times for someone to walk out, it would be her opponent the moment I'm saying with our hands, "great job kicking her butt!"

While that's not what I was SAYING, the timing was horrible.  I felt pretty bad (and so did my friend, as we talked about it).

I was more so showing my support, but to her opponent (who was unfortunately a new player to boot), it looked like I was rubbing in her face she lost.  I know that seeing that sort of thing can sting right straight in the heart.

I talked to her later and expressed how well she played, to try and ease any uncomfy feelings she might have had (plus, she really does play well for a newbie to the game - has a very natural, beautiful stroke).  It takes guts to conquer fear and anxiety to play in a new event with new people, and so I wanted her to feel comfy, not upset she lost (or that it seemed like I was being rude).

Mutual Admiration

I had league last Thursday with my ladies team. 

As I said goodbye for the night, one of my teammates hugged me tighter than normal.

She finally released the hug, but held my hands and shared, "You know, next week we will be at BCA Texas State.  And that is exactly one year from the first time I saw you play pool."

I felt a little nervous, where was she going with this?

She exclaimed, "I have goosebumps!"  Then shared, "I was so in awe of how well you played and am honored we are friends and teammates now."

"Oh stop it," I said.

"No, listen, I mean it," as she held my hands tighter and looked me right in the eye.  "I love watching you play and I get so excited every Thursday night because I know I'll get to watch "Melinda play pool.""  She looked down at her arm, "I have goosebumps again!"

I got embarrassed, but also flattered a little, but still tried to leave.

She pulled me in for another hug and said, "I can't wait to play with you at State next week."

I remember her watching me play last year in the finals of scotch doubles at BCAPL Texas State, because they introduced me to her b/c we were about to be new teammates.  Although my partner and I won the entire event, I also remember missing an 8ball and another ball, so even though she talks about the match like she witnessed greatness, I saw it as, "wish you could have seen me play better,"  lol.

But it goes to show how impactful we can be sometimes to people.  And how we are being watched a lot of times.  I like to always be a representative of the sport and act like I'm okay, even if I'm steaming inside.  I have been complimented when I shake hands with a smile after I lose.  Well, it's who I am today.  And when I show negative emotions, I get upset with myself for showing that side (even if it's human to do so sometimes).

I drove home that night feeling really good.  A compliment goes a long way.  I had told her she had been playing really, really well, but she kept diverting my words from her to me.  Felt weird, but as I look back, I really do appreciate it.  And I really do admire how much she loves the game and has improved!

Compliments About Playing Well

At my ladies league playoffs, I got some really good compliments that I wanted to share.

One of my teammates' husbands pulled me aside and said that he has been noticing my game.  

He said he's been silently watching from the sidelines and has noticed how much my game has really improved over the years.  He guessed what it was, but I told him it was something else.

I told him I dated a pro for about a year about 4-5 years ago, and even though we only played pool one time together in that full year, I watched him play a lot of pool during that year.  His motto was a "smooth stroke."  And I was able to see for an entire year, just how important a smooth stroke was for the first time in my pool journey.  From there, a smooth stroke (i.e., not whacking at the ball) led to me staying down more and following through more, which led me to FINALLY not jump up on my shots AND taking my time.

I had a REAL bad habit of shooting too fast, which led to jumping up on my shots, which led to a lot of misses.

And since my fundamentals started to get solid, I improved as a player, which led me to be chosen for clutch positions, which has led to more pressure situations, and therefore good finishes personally, also.

He also said it was a joy to watch me play.

It really meant a lot, because I really have improved and it feels just as good to play well, as those players who have watched me mature as a good player.

And then later on that night I got this message in FB from another male pool player:

"Melinda, I love watching you play pool. I think your patience and your mental game is something great. It's not just aiming and shooting. I know after watching you play, I got a long way to go with my game. Keep doing what you do. Enjoyed watching your games today."

WOW!  That meant so much, too!

I have noticed that people watch me and I think the solidness of my pool game and mental game are helping many people around me!  Friends, teammates, heck even opponents.  

:)

Took me 20 years to get here.  I like where I'm sitting.  Even long journeys have a rainbow at the end.  And nothing comes easy.  So, I'm fine it has taken this long - means I wasn't ready before. But I sure am ready now!

Credit Where Credit Is Due

I will write about this in more detail later, because I want to capture down in words my most sought-after title, but I WON the Women's Singles Division of the 2014 BCAPL Texas State 8-Ball Championships back on April 3rd!  :)

Yep, I finally did it!  

Woo-Woo!

However, a couple of recent comments have perturbed me.  And as you know, I write about good things and things that bother me as well, in this blog.  As, Pool is a Journey.

As I've stated before, pool is not all positive things, there are also down times and frustrating times, as with all sports and competition.  And I want to share all sides!

After I won the tourney, I of course went to FaceBook to announce my win.  Well, actually, I didn't say what I won, all I said was:

Omg I did it! My personal biggest pool goal/obstacle in the last 10-15 years! Wow! Thank you for all the support and love!

I got many congratulations and sincere comments for my accomplishment, but of course one little comment perturbed me:

"Good job Melinda! Looks like hanging around that new guy is paying off a little! lol"

I was like WHAT?

I was actually deeply hurt.  My new b/f does play good pool, but we don't even practice together and I've actually only seen him play 2 times in 6 months.  So, I didn't win because I am dating a good player!!

Then, just at league on Sunday a week later, I am playing 8-ball and playing some mean safes because there is no way to run out with all the clusters.  So, I'm playing smart 8-ball.

My opponent, who knows who my boyfriend is, says to me, "Who YOU'VE been practicing with?"

I snip back, "I've been playing safeties like this for YEARS."

I mean really, give a girl some credit!  

I've been playing pool for over 25 years and my game has gone up in the last 3-4 years because I finally solidified my fundamentals people!  Not because of who I am dating!

Quite honestly, my b/f and I don't even have time to play pool together. 

And trust me, if someone helps my game, I will FULLY admit it.  I have mentioned SEVERAL names in this blog when I get help and how it's helped me.  I'm not shy to admit it.

But to not give me credit hurt me, when in reality, I've worked really hard on my game and take pride in my accomplishments.    

The guy on Facebook said he was just kidding and "...I definitely deserve all the credit," but it still hurt a little because this title meant so much.

I finally won something that REALLY means the world to me, that I had YEARNED for for so long in my life, to only be credited to someone else, not myself.  :(  And when I play good at league you can't think it's because of my years of hard work?  That it's because of some guy I don't even play pool with?  Sheesh. 

Actually, people should be lucky I DON'T practice with him!  lol. 

But, I'm not going to focus on those the negatives.  But people need to realize that just because you are dating someone doesn't mean you are even playing pool together!  

Gosh.