Bogies, Oct, 2007

This was one of the tournaments I help run, and we were also going to be having a charity benefit. I knew going into the weekend it could be a very long weekend and then I had plans to go to San Antonio to see my lovely Mom for a few days (before I have to be away from her for three weeks).

I met up with Julie Friday night and had dinner at Bob's Steak and Chop House in downtown Houston. It was delicious. I had a T-bone steak and two large (very delicious) fried shrimp. The bread was awesome and the steak tomatoes were perfect with their balsamic vinegarate.

I run the Player's Meeting for Monica and try and not make it go long, but at the same time make it funny. The board was dissapointed only 36 players showed up, but everyone sure had a blast! Houston usually gets more ladies, too. :(

I was called to play in the first round and didn't get to hit any balls before my match, but I felt confident anyway. I had to play Kim Pierce first and ran out nice the first game and felt pretty good. Then I missed a 9 ball, because I was thinking while down on the 8 ball, in addition to not taking two seconds to peek around the table to see the line for the 9ball. I got out of line and missed it. She gets out again after I miss an 8 (I think) and I'm consciously telling myself to not think about the missed 9 ball and to move on. She wins the next game and then I start to play well and get out very nicely on many games. I get out of line a few times, but I am playing well and really seeing the layouts. On the last run, I break and run and get out VERY nice to have to run the table. She is not happy, but I win 7-3.

Me, posing for Shayla

I then have to play Ricki Lee Casper. I love to watch her play - she has a lot of talent and is capable of winning a lot of matches in any tournament. I run the first game out beautifully and feel very confident. I then miss a 9ball, then an 8, then another 8. It gets worse, as she plays great - she has me down 5-2 and I am trying not to think about the earlier games and then I am not sure what happens but I tie it up 5-5. She takes a break and that helps me even more and I seal the win 7-5. Wow. What happened? I guess I did force those misses out of my mind and just played pool and took advantage of my opportunities.

I then play Kyu Yi next. I felt good and after she scratched on the 2 ball in the first game, I ran out beautifully! Up 1-0. Then things just didn't go well after that. I missed three kicks and she got out. I scratched another time and she got out. I did have two more really nice outs from early in the rack (including a nice draw shot!), but two more misses and a break and run from her caused me to lose 7-3. I was bummed, because I thought I was playing okay, but she got out beautifully most of the games.

Then a group of us went to dinner at Texas Roadhouse. Gosh I love that place! Several ducked out before we sat down because they wanted to get back to the 8pm charity tournament, but we still had 12 of us. I got the skewered shrimp for the first time and really enjoyed them - they are tasty. Then we all headed back to the tournament and I sat around and chatted with several people - Danny Lee, Lanny Herrin, Samm Diep and others. It was great to get out and be around people after the few weeks I have had. I also thoroughly enjoyed watching Ashley being herself and in her element - she was having a great time and it was a joy to see someone really enjoy life. Everyone was laughing and enjoying watching all the ladies beat up on the guys. I went back to the hotel before Julie and was sound asleep by the time she came in. I was a tired little girl.

I woke up the next morning and decided to wash my hair, which means I would be pushing getting to my Sunday main event match on time, but did it anyway. I felt good going into the match against the always tough Heather Lloyd. A great shot and safety by me in the first game led to her three fouling me for the first win. Ouch! I didn't let it affect me and played my game and tied it 1-1 after a very nice shot on the 7 ball when she missed shape. Cue ball was on the rail and it was a long shot with a difficult angle and I just told myself to focus solely on the shot and not worry about shape. I stayed down and nailed it. She got on 2 and then another miss by her and I got on 2. She then had a difficult out and we both went back and forth and then she went for a tough 9 and missed it and I nailed a tough cut instead of banking it. I tied it 3-3. I then had ball in hand with three balls left and wasn't sure how to get on the 8. I finally made my decision, made a nice shot on the tough 8 ball to get soft shape on the 9 in the side, but barely missed it. She was up 4-3. At that point, I missed in the middle of the rack or early and she would get out. She won easily 7-3. I am not sure what happened, but again, only a few misses cost me the match. I did notice she was playing slower - by that I mean she stroked the ball a few more times than she used to, and it really, really worked for her and she missed less than I have seen in the past. She ended up getting 2nd place and Kyu got 3rd. I shouldn't be upset for losing to them, but I think it's amazing that when you play certain players, a miss causes you to not get back to the table and it truly is costly. Like my friend Sherry says, make every ball count. At that stage in the tournament, the players play better, and are better at taking advantage of mistakes and running out and not getting out of line.

Close Up (just got my hair highlighted - I like it this time!)

I placed 9th, lasted until Sunday and just felt okay. Did I stay down like I wanted to? I doubt it. Although I felt like I played P O O L and didn't let things get to me, I still don't feel good about my loses... just a few mistakes, but they cost me the matches. It's funny, I wanted so desperately to play P O O L and I did, and yet I am still not happy. Is that because of grief? Because I have too much going on? Because winning the arm wrestling match with P O O L was not enough? I do not know right now; honestly. I have a long way to go... now doesn't seem the time to be able to get there... even playing P O O L didn't make me happy. Did I play my best? (this is from Mental Toughness Training for Sports). If not or if so, accept it and move on Melinda.

I stuck around only a few more hours. I so desperately wanted to see my Mom and left the party and drove home. It was so wonderful to see her! I have got a lot done around here, but my Mom fell in the tub Monday night and probably broke a rib. We were both feeling better about things and now this setback. She is so disappointed in herself for falling. I need to not think things are going okay - last time I let my guard down, my Mom went back in the hospital a week later in April. You think I would have learned.

I will be gone for three weeks from my Mom... but I am actually a little more worried than normal about my job. I'll be gone for the next two weeks out of the office for work, then I come back down here. I'll only be in the office for 4 days the next four weeks.

I am numb... I don't know why. I guess it doesn't matter how much I get done.... my Mom's pain doesn't go away. And I only check things off as I get things done around her house, and yet spend more time away from her trying to get those things done.

Before Bogies

On Monday I saw a movie. Didn't feel like it at first but figured, I have the day off, I need to do what I would normally do. So, I went to see a movie, practiced, and played in the Monday night tournament.

The movie made me cry. I thought The Brave One was about (don't read further if you don't want to know) a woman that was raped and got mad afterwards. Instead, the love of her life dies while they both get beat up one night (and then she gets mad). I cried and cried. Too close to home, too emotional, too raw still.

Then went to pool room to practice and instead wanted to gamble. Broke even - I haven't gambled in ten years probably. Saw Tracie at the pool room when I first got there and she made me cry - I held on to her tightly as we both hugged each other and thought of our parents. He parents passed away three weeks apart over a year ago. I never knew what she went through until now.

I then got Last Lady at the Monday night tournament. Thoroughly enjoyed myself with free hot dogs, great french fries and winning lots of matches. I won $75 for second (I let Tony have first place, AFTER I beat him in the hotseat and then he won another match to have the chance to play me again). We are both now qualified for the end of season tournament Nov 4th. Wow! Either a certain number of weeks need to be played, or you have to win the tournament. We accomplished both the same night (I got my 3rd week in).

I hope to think clear this weekend - remember to play P O O L. Remember to go in winning, to focus on the table, to focus on the process of playing pool. I am excited - it will be a great weekend running it, playing in it, and also helping with the Anne Mayes Cancer Benefit.

I am very excited to be having dinner tonight with Julie (who is my rommie for the weekend) at Bob's Steak and Chop House in downtown Houston!

I also can't wait to see my Mom on Sunday night. I'll be visiting her for a few days after the tournament.

I love you Mom and Dad.
Melinda

FE in CS Sept 30th

Fast Eddies Tour in College Station. Sept 30th.

I went down early - give my Mom some time away from me so we could try and see how we would be apart. I had been with her two weeks straight since my Dad passed. It was going to be an emotional weekend. Friday night the tournament directors surprise me and give me cards everyone had signed the weekend my Dad passed. It was SO moving. I had to walk off and I cried in the bathroom.

I came back Saturday and watched some matches and hung out with some friends. I then went to see a funny movie - but it turned out to be stupid.

22 women showed up Sunday and it was good to see friendly faces, even though it was so hard to not cry when I would get a hug from Jennifer, Heather, Tara, Kyu, and Amanda. I thanked several people (guys and gals) throughout the weekend for signing my card -it really did mean a lot.

I played Catherine Naes first and I play really good and won 7-0. I then played Sue Chong and after being down 0-2, I finally start playing okay again and won 7-4 I think. I then played Yvette Reyes - a cute little thing, and very nice. I am up 5-2 and playing well. Even had a GREAT safety - one I had recently been practicing and was so excited when it panned out well! I was jumping up a lot, though, and it took me a few games to finally finish off the match and I won 7-4.

I then have to play Amanda and I am not into the game at all. I capitalize on some of her mistakes and was down only 4-3 when a mistake on her part and a nice shot on mine set me up for a small run. I was so excited, I didn't take my time on the 9ball and missed it. It wasn't a tough shot, but I overstroked it, didn't stay down, wasn't thinking about making the ball or anything. Again, I wasn't playing pool. I was SO embarrassed with how badly I was playing. She missed the 9, also, but shit it in. Key game- instead of 4-4, it's now 5-3 her. I won the next game from her mistake but lost 7-5 or 7-4 because I just wasn't playing pool. My arms were wobbly, my mind wasn't into the game, I was thinking about stupid shit and just not playing P O O L. I would miss late in the rack and she would capitalize... I had lots of chances and just didn't play the game in front of me.

I had to wait a while to play Jennifer next and by the time I payed, I still wasn't over my embarrassment of my previous match. I looked around at the crowd a lot and wasn't into my game at all. I lost 5-1. I played terrible. I was again SO exhausted - I think physically from being so mentally drained? Got 5th and no money, either. It was a LONG drive home.

What did I learn? Learned I'm still not playing pool at times, but that I can play well if I set my mind to it. It's just been so tough lately, though. #!$^$&@ I'm so disappointed in myself for allowing me to NOT play pool. I need to look at the FLOOR, like Joe Salazar taught me. It really helped me with Catherine's match.