SuperStar Teammate

I'm not really a basketball fan.  I mean, I have been to some Spurs and Mavericks games, but that's normally only because whichever boyfriend I had at the time wanted to go see them.  The Spurs game I went to in the 90s, they were playing the Chicago Bulls and Michael Jordan looked RIGHT at me, even if I was delusional from the bleeder seats.  It was awesome how our eyes connected.  The few Mavericks games I went to, were mostly playoff games because it was the hype as I lived in the Dallas-Fort Worth area.

So, I don't know who Rodney Hood is or his background story.  But as I have pointed out before, when I read articles I usually relate them to pool.  And this was just the exact case when I read a short article about Rodney Hood and his recent struggles going to Cleveland.

Basically, Rodney was a star basketball player for the Jazz and was a top scorer for them.  Then was traded to the Cavaliers.... and he wasn't played as often.  Why?  Well, because of superstar LeBron James.

LeBron is the top player of the team.  He is played most often, has the ball the most, is normally the top scorer, etc.  Sure, it's a team effort, but Rodney is no longer one of the top players of his team like he used to be.

In the article, he states:

"I was playing at such a high clip when I got traded,” Hood said. “And then, this is my first time having "Did Not Play" (DNPs) in life. The first time shooting two times or five times in a game. Having to adjust is the toughest part. It’s a part of my growth. I’m not going to always be in this state."

I admire that he realizes it's part of his growth, that is difficult to do, as he's got to be frustrated.  I doubt he's sitting on the sidelines all happy about not playing and having low-scoring games because of his super-star teammate.

Many of us have been on both ends of this.  We are on a team that wins, but we are surrounded by better players who get played more often because they perform better.  On the other hand, sometimes we join a new team and find ourselves the top player of a team.  While that is surely a "high" in our life, that also has a domino effect on others on the team.  Those who used to play more, don't get played as often because you joined as their new superstar.  Rude!  j/k :)

What do we make of all this?

Well, it's just part of our pool journey!  Sometimes we will be the LeBron James and sometimes we will be the Rodney Hood (be a top player but not getting to show our talent because of the team we are on).  It's all part of the process and works out in the end.

I have learned through my pool journey that being on different teams provides different opportunities.  And while you may not understand the path you are currently on, eventually you will see every decision points you to the track you were meant to be going on on your pool journey.

You will see.  I promise. :)

Rut Oh

Been playing bad lately.    Not sure what is up but it sucks lol.

One week I go 6-0 in league, and just 3 weeks later I go 0-5 in the same league.  Granted we were playing a much better team, and I only had two opportunities, but that's not the only indication I'm playing badly.

I played poorly in the Omega tourney.  Yep, I actually played in my own event!  Although I was ahead in both of my matches, and I played REALLY well at the beginning of both of those matches, I lost focus and lost.

I also played in a singles tourney for my Monday night league on Saturday.  I placed 2nd, even though I was the best player in the tourney.  I am not sure what happened, but I am just not playing well right now.

The timing really sucks too because I have the BCAPL Texas State tourney coming up in less than a month and anyone that reads this blog the past few years know that is the one tourney I've always wanted to win.  Well, saying that is already pressure, lol.

I keep hearing I'm playing fast.  Not just in early February when I wrote about this, but also this past weekend.  And I'm not sure why that is happening.  What happened to playing slow and deliberate and taking time on my shots?

I need to figure all this out asap!

I honestly think because I haven't been competing in tournaments more, that it's affecting me.  I am losing focus in tournament matches for sure. 

I am still playing great for team events, but when it comes to playing for me, that is another story.

Hopefully this rut (or whatever is going on) will turn around soon.

New Team, Hurt Feelings

One might think it's pretty freaking awesome to put together a new team.  The players on the team are elated and stoked!  It's awesome, really!

But, what I have witnessed lately is nothing but heartbreak.

I have seen the players who didn't get asked to be on a new team feeling left out, hurt, offended even. 

It's really a sad thing to see.

It's also a sad thing to hear later.  Why didn't you pick me?  Do you not think I play good enough?  Why wouldn't you ask me to join the team? 

I have witnessed this recently more than once and it broke my heart. 

It's so weird because the people asked to be on the new team(s) are all excited, pleasantly surprised, and elated!  But the ones who didn't get asked, look and feel physically hurt.  You can see it in their eyes and on their faces.

Breaks me heart, really. 

Team Confidence

To go from being the top player to one of the weak players is a huge shot to the ego.  I realize I'm a girl and I'm not the top player on my men's team, but I play pretty sporty and it hurt my little heart that I didn't play at first in my Monday night league playoffs.

When I was finally put in, I was SO excited!  And we won decisively :)

I was sat the first round the next day and was ok with that.  One of our teammates (BB) told me that in the final few matches of the tournament, all the top players should play - this isn't the time to be "fair" and play everyone.  I wholeheartedly agree.

Ironically, BB would sit out the the whole day Sunday and only played one match on Saturday.

Anyway, my captain puts me in in our second match on Sunday.

I'm like, really?

I was shocked.  But when he didn't put in my boyfriend, also, and instead played me, I was confused.  Put me in, ok, but don't take him out!

I win 2, lose 2.  If I would have kicked in 2 balls, I would be a 4-0 girl :)  They sat out another teammate in the 2nd round, and me in the 4th.  I felt pretty good.  :)  One guy didn't get to play at all on Sunday and I lasted longer than another, lol.  Must kill their egos.

As I am sitting there thinking about my missed kick, I overhear BB say to our captain. "we should be playing all our top players right now."

I got real upset.

As I said, I agreed with that of course, but when you say it when I'm still in the game and implying I should be taken out really upset me!  How can I possibly play my best with my own teammates stating out loud I shouldn't be playing?

I confront him and snap at him.  I tell him that he shouldn't say that within ear shots of his OWN teammates, when we are still playing.  Talk about losing confidence!

He apologized but I was still fuming.

And of course, I was taken out.

One of my teammates told me not to let it bother me, that people say things all the time and it doesn't matter.  I tried to hear him, but I couldn't listen because I was upset.


We won that set and during the break he stopped to apologize again; this time more sincerely.  I told him while I definitely agreed with him, he should not ever say that when we are playing.  It just means he has no confidence in us.

He felt real bad about it and all I heard from everyone else was "now you know why we don't like his negativism."  I should have be rude and told him, "at least I got to play more than one match AND on Sunday, unlike you."

But, that's not like me, lol.

(as a reminder, my team won the league playoffs :) )

Negative Comments

It's amazing to me the comments people say.  Why say negative things?  Seriously?  Why?  Why point out obvious mistakes?

As usual, there are some unfortunate things that happen during tournaments.  But, that's the way competition goes. 

This year, I not only expressed myself more than usual, I also seriously evaluated more the "whys" of my feelings and thoughts.  While I despise negative comments, and while this blog is pretty much one big whine fest, I am still glad a lot of negative things have happened so I could try to control my thoughts better.

Practice makes perfect, right?

I found myself reacting, then moving on quickly.  I also found myself rationalizing the words I heard, which helped as well.

In other words, instead of just feeling and reacting (badly) to the raw, negative emotions from the negative words I heard, I instead tried to think about why I was bothered.  Then I tried to rationalize my feelings.  It really helped me overcome my downward spiraling thoughts.

And let's face it, we have enough pressure to play well and enough inner demons to deal with, so it's beneficial to our pool game to try and not let outside influences affect our mental game even more.

The reason for this blog entry:

Back in May, I watched a men's team (from my area) play in the BCAPL Open's Team event of the National Championships in Vegas.  I knew 2 of the guys on the team, but the other 4 I had never seen compete before.

I saw one of the teammates I didn't know (let's call him "NJ") verbally expressed his excitement for good shots, but also his discontent of his fellow teammates when they messed up.  I was MORTIFIED!  How does a teammate hit a wall after a fellow teammate misses?  How does he verbally assault his own player with crappy comments if they miss?

While I appreciated his enthusiasm and support of his teammates when they would get to the table, but God forbid you make a mistake because he WILL say something out loud.  To you.  In front of your teammates.  In front of the other team.  In front of all the bystanders.

After I witnessed this, I was VERY concerned about him watching our women's teams matches.  He had already watched a few games and I figured he might watch some more.  Sure enough, I saw NJ at breakfast in the Cafe on Friday morning and he wanted to know what time our match was so he could watch.

O.  M.   G.

I tried not to let it bother me.  I really did.  I tried not to even think that he *might* show up to the match.

I had even told one of my teammates as soon as I saw him act like that, "if he says anything during our matches, I'm gonna ask him to leave."  She replied, "do it if you have to."

Sure enough, NJ and a couple of his teammates show up to our first match of the second day of the Women's Open event.

I was up first and I admit I was proud of myself for not even thinking about him while at the table.  I have had MANY situations in the past where I'm standing at a table, and wondering what an audience member is thinking of my choices.  This time, I was only thinking about pool. I didn't care who was in the crowd.

I made a bad decision on my 3rd ball left and HOOKED myself on the 8ball.  I knew as soon as I shot the shot before, I had made the wrong decision.  I didn't listen to my gut.  And, so I got hooked with a bad shot.

Luckily, the ball before the 8ball was "in the hole" and I just had to a kick long rail bank to make it.  I felt no pressure and made it.

This left, however, for a VERY long straight-in, tough shot on the 8ball, with the cueball pretty much on the rail. 

I got down on the shot, took my time, stayed down, smooth stroke, and MADE IT!

I couldn't believe it!  I was so elated.  It really was a very tough shot!

High fives all around and then I sit down with my teammates, and I couldn't stop smiling.  :)

The smile quickly ended.

NJ says, "nice kick, but you should have shot the 2ball before the 5ball."

I interrupted, "Really?  You're gonna say that to me?  I'm in the middle of a match right here...."

He stopped talking and I was very upset.

I leaned to my teammate, "I'm gonna have to ask him to leave.  I don't want to be bothered by him when I'm trying to play.  I do NOT want to be thinking about being judged while I'm at the table."

"I'll support you, ask him to leave.  It wont bother me."

That was her way of saying without saying, that he can sometimes bother her, too.

I had to get more off my chest.  I told her," I'm serious.  If I think someone is questioning my decisions, I wont be able to play well and will be second guessing my choices," I confided.

I'm suppose to be the clutch player, I don't need anymore pressure than I already had!

Eventually, I guess he left because I never had to ask him to leave.

I just simply DO NOT GET IT.  Why freakin' say that to me?  Why point out a negative?  Why not wait and *maybe* discuss it with me later?  Is he trying to point out I'm wrong?  Or is he just trying to point out he's right?  Does he *really* think telling me what I did wrong and what I should have done will help me play better?

Listen, all it does it make me question myself.  Makes me contemplate what I *think* others *think* I should do.

I was already very aware I made a mistake.  Hello?  I HOOKED MYSELF!  Yes, I don't need to be pointed out what I did badly; I knew already.  Pointing it out does NOT make it better for me; or anyone.  No one that I know of plays better being told they messed up.  And then, to do it in front of people?  Is that really motivation?  No, it's just embarrassment.  Was he trying to show off that he knows best? 

I don't understand. 

Seriously. 

Why say something AT ALL like that?  Why not just clap and be thankful I even kicked the ball in and then made the tough shot?  Does it help his ego?  Does he think he's helping?  Seriously?

For the rest of my life, I will not ever like this guy watching me play pool.  Ever.

Even when a teammate expressed a mistake I made, it made me feel bad.  I do NOT thrive on people pointing out mistakes or negativity. 

I realize I've wrote about this before, but I'm still so shocked when it happens.  It takes such strong mental capacity for me to overcome things like this.

I am proud of myself, though.  I really handled my thoughts better during the women's team event.  I tried not to let things get to me like they used to in the past.  I tried to rationalize why I thought the way I was thinking, which helped me get over comments or situations faster than usual.

Sure, things still bothered me.  But, for some reason I overcame them with either methodical thinking, rational thinking, or by venting to someone.

My mental toughness became more solid as time went on during the event.  It's a great feeling.

Still - I don't like to be embarrassed or mistakes pointed out.  Duh!

I fully admit there IS a time and place for such things to improve and learn.  But in the middle of a match is not the place nor the time.

Deflated

I'm trying to figure out what exactly is going on with my pool game.

I did surprisingly well the first weekend out of hibernation (last lady twice while playing real good with a smooth stroke, good pre-shot routine, and taking my time on my shots) to all of a sudden not winning games I'm suppose to win just two weekends in a row later.

I won a ladies event on a Friday night, but there were only 5 total females in the tourney.  Then the following day in scotch doubles I play badly and only get 3rd place.  Then play league and should have won 5 outta 6 games, instead lost 3. 

The next weekend I play two straight pool matches and I lose both of those.  To players I can beat if I'm playing well.

I am more than deflated and upset right now.

I seriously feel like a kicked dog.

I wanted to start my new straight pool season off with a few wins. I want the league trophy so badly, I want the wins so badly!  I could use that desire as my excuse - I kept my eye off the ball in front of me and was thinking of the future - but I know that's not true.  What IS true:  I am not playing my best and I am not taking my time.  My pre-shot routine is off.

I started off both straight pool matches on fire, only to not "stick it" to my opponents when I was ahead.  I let up, started to think too much, didn't play my best, let the matches slip away....  blah blah blah.

I lost the first straight pool match Friday night 100-77.

At the end of the second match on Saturday morning, a friend stopped by to watch me.  Score 75-75 when he walks up.  A few safes back and forth, and I leave my opponent a window by accident and he runs 8.  I foul.  He runs 8.  I then miss two very key shots (break shots) and he runs 6 and beats me 100-81.  I was up 42-18 earlier in the match, too.

But, starting off well means nothing if you don't cross over the finish line.  :(

My friend who watched the end of my match shares with me that I played all the right shots... I simply missed two important balls, and messed up that one safety. 

Both my opponent played well toward the end of the matches, but if I would have taken advantage of their misses in the beginning-to-mid part of the game, I just know I could have won both.  It burns to lose to peeps you feel you can beat, esp since the wins means so much to me in this league. :(

I felt relieved my friend said I played the correct shots.  That's gotta count for something, right?  He's one of the top shooters in the higher division so to hear my choices were correct made the loss sting a tad less.

But, to stop being negative for a moment..... I can tell the straight pool DVDs I have been watching have really improved my route to the break shots.  I feel ecstatic about that part of my game!  But, you can't tell any of that by the score and my ZERO winning percentage so far for the season.  ARGH!

I am extremely upset. (can you tell?  lol)

And, I'm scared right now, too.  I am timid to even schedule another straight pool match; scared of the consequences. 

I know I need to not care about the wins. 

I know I need to focus back on playing each shot to my fullest potential.  Key in on that object ball last to help me stay down.  Take my time, too. 

As frustrating and debilitating as the losses were, it was weirdly "fun" (dare I use that word) to try and overcome my nerves and the score and test my mental toughness to try and fight back in those two matches.  I haven't played competitively in a while!  It felt good, even though the losses hurt.  Ohhh, reminds me of that quote, "no pain, no gain."

Maybe I have some fight left in me after all?

BTW, 4 big tourneys in 5 weekends coming up for me.  I better prepare by envisioning my good pre-shot routine over and over in my mind during the weekdays, huh?