Got a Little Table Time In

I normally don't even consider anymore playing in an Omega Tournament because I'm too busy.  With over 90 players a stop, it isn't really fair if I try to play and also run the tourney because there is too much to do.  Sure, I have helpers, but photos still need to be taken, raffle tickets sold, and break and run to be held, all the while running the bracket and posting results online.  So, I just don't feel right leaving so many duties to the helpers so I can play a little.

However, at the last Omega stop, I sure did have the itch to play!  I was secretly hoping we would have one opening so I could play, because the tournament was being held on diamond bar tables!  Omgosh I play well on those tables!

Further, this event was limited to 64 players because they only had 8 tables, so the tournament was more manageable and I knew I could step away and play.  You know, if the need arose that I needed to help out fill a 64-person bracket.  LOL.

Alas, the field was full.

And that's okay!  Still had plenty to do.

Come Sunday, the itch is still there.  Strong.

I don't think I've even played a game of pool since April.

Later in the afternoon when the tournament is winding down with only a match or two left, I ask a friend if I can borrow his cue.  He happens to also shoot with an OB shaft, so it felt really comfortable.

I ran out the first rack (with a mulligan lol), then ran out two more racks.  Many people are watching and asking me why I didn't play, and I shared, "sure wish I could have!"

As I'm handing the cue back to the player, a veteran on the tour and someone who knows how I play quips up to the guy, "and that wasn't the cue that made her shoot that way."

hahahahhhaha!

I was cracking up!

Many Omega players don't even know I play pool or that I play pool kinda good, so some were shocked how well I played just in those few games they witnessed.

And normally people joke, "Wow, that cue doesn't miss!"  But this guy immediately shot any notion or thought down that it was the cue with his really cool compliment.

/blush/

Competing Helps Real Life

The other day I received an email from a dear friend.  In it, he told me, "I applaud your devotion you had for you Mom.  All the tough situations you went through, the heart you've developed as a pool player was invaluable to help you through it all."

I admit I wasn't sure what he meant.  So, the nosey person in me asked him.

And he replied with words that I'm still shocked by:

"It means the resilience that you have developed as a pool player - the ability to overcome adversity, pick yourself up, and get going again - helps you in difficult situations."

Did he really just say all that?

It sure does put quite the spin on just "competing" in pool (or any sport), doesn't it?

While I didn't see that in myself over 4 years because of the grief and depression I could barely climb out of bed for, it's been pointed out to me on numerous occasions that ALL my big title wins were during those years.

It's funny though, that he said this, because I actually never thought of that and usually see the reverse:  When I find myself in a pressure situation in a tourney or I'm in the finals of an event, or I can feel the adrenaline moving through my veins and pumping my heart feverishly, I sometimes use life learning experiences to calm myself down:

"This is /nothing/ Melinda.  You found a loved one pass away. "

or, 

"Why are you so nervous?  You had to speak in front of 200 people you didn't know through sobbing tears and absolute heartbreak about your Dad after he passed."

So, to read his take on the reverse - using what I learned in pool to help me through adversity in life - is not only huge compliment because of the words he chose ("heart," for example), it's also because I never really thought of that before.

P.S.  I was reminded that A Mind for Pool by Phil Capelle touches on this.  :)

Played Like Me

The other day I was talking to a female captain of one of the ladies leagues. 

She was talking about the strengths of her players and also what they should work on. 

And then she shared that one of her players needs to work on being patient and see more of the strategy of playing 8-ball. 

She added, "I beat her the other night and I told her afterwards, "I beat you by playing like Melinda.""

I was like, "omg, really?"  lol.  But I admit that was such a huge compliment to me!

This captain knows how much I love the strategy of 8ball (her and I have practiced together a couple of times just talking 8ball strategy) and that is why I win almost 95% of my games.  I am always recommending Play Your Best Pool by Phil Capelle because it has helped me THE MOST with 8ball strategy.

I Know This is Bad Timing

When i played my first match of the day on Monday morning at BCAPL nationals, I found myself in a tough match.

Why could I not be playing any of the other girls around me that kept missing, lol.

I almost got out the first game but I missed a shot I normally make.  Then my opponent COMES WITH IT.  At first she was missing in this first game, but then we she had 3 tough balls left and a tricky 8 ball, she nailed the out.

Oh shit.

I was impressed.  And I knew I had my hands full.

I won the next game though.

She won the next with more good play and excellent safeties.  She played super smart; knew the game well.

But for some reason, I managed to pull ahead 3-2.  She continued to fight;  continued to play impressive safes and great shots, but I was able to win the match somehow.  Still not sure how tho, because she was a great player.

As we were putting our cues away, I said to her, "I know this is really bad timing, but you played really good."

She snapped at me, " No I didn't. "

She was very upset.   Honestly, she should be; She played REALLY good, but the last two games I prevailed somehow.

I tried again, "You played excellent safeties.  You play really smart and good" I pleaded ( yes, pleaded for her to hear me).

"I played terrible," as she quickly left the area upset.

Although she lost, she was my best opponent and most knowledgeable.   I wanted her to know that so badly.

Fast forward about 8 hours and I see her walking by me.  Then all of a sudden she turns around and comes up to me.

"Hey, it really meant a lot what you said this morning.  And I'm glad you prefaced it with 'I know it's bad timing.'  But I was just upset, but I want you to know it meant a lot."

Then I bragged on her some more in front my friends how well she played and her great safeties.  She left with a smile to her next match and won the rest of her matches that day.  I was a huge fan already from our morning match.

April from Canada.

Apology Accepted, and Impressive

A couple of months ago, I was running the Omega Tournament and an exchange between two players caught my attention.

During one of the matches, one of the guys was getting animated and expressing his disappointment verbally when he would make a mistake.  Or sometimes even physically by slapping his hand on the table.

He would eventually lose that match and afterwards he shook his opponents' hand and quickly walked out of the area with his things.  He didn't stick around at all and bolted.

He was pretty upset with himself.

After about 30 minutes, I hear his voice behind me.  He had walked back in (I thought he left the scene of the crime) to talk to his opponent.

"Hey, I've cooled down now.  Wanted to say I'm sorry I got so heated, but that was really a nice match and you played well.  And I wanted to wish you luck now that I've calmed down."

I thought it was really cool that he came back and talked to his opponent.  He could have easily just left and drove off, but this player isn't like that.  He genuinely likes to congratulate his opponents and wish them well, he just wasn't in the right frame of mind to be nice and friendly right after his tough loss.

He needed to cool off and after he was calmed down and no longer super upset at himself, he turned his attention to his opponent to wish them luck in their future matches.

Impressive.

And, he complimented his opponent in front of several people.  It was very nice of him.

Complimenting Opponents

During our women's league team playoffs, you'll have to picture that most of the women on the league all like each other and are good friends.  Like 95% of us are all friends!

So, it makes it difficult sometimes to play against each other.

I have learned, like my friend Lisa Marr says, "friends away from the table" because otherwise I use to have too soft of a heart when I played pool and that gets in the way of a killer instinct to want to win.

Anyway, so during our women's league team playoffs we are playing against some friends from an opposing team and one of the players is really struggling.  Turns out she was coming down with the flu, but she didn't know it at the time.

She's on her second match and struggling and she says out loud, "man, I can't make a ball today."

Well, one of my teammates immediately tells her something like, "You'll be fine, dont' think that way."

And I just REACTED.

I felt so bad I did this, but I said right away to my teammate out loud kinda snappy, "Don't tell her that!  She's our opponent.  Don't pump her up."

I realize they are friends and she was just helping her "as" a friend, but against each others teams we aren't suppose to be friends.

I know it was very natural for her to want to offer her support and kind words because she was struggling, but that was not the time nor place for it.

But... *I* could have handled that better and whispered in my teammates ear, instead of saying it out loud, kinda getting on to her.  I think our friend (yes, she was my friend, also) might have heard me say that, which is rude when you are trying to play.

I realize my teammate prolly took my words as advice eventually, but it prolly came across as getting on to her right then, not helping.  :(

Role Model

Since I wrote the other day about not feeling accepted and welcomed around some places, I think it's apropos I share where I DO feel accepted, welcomed, and respected.

I mentioned I feel comfortable around the ladies league I play in, and also my Monday night league.  I'd like to expand on that because something pretty amazing happened - someone shared with me last week some pretty wild compliments.

She told me that the ladies in the women's league look up to me.  I was shocked and humbled because I don't know why and I don't fully comprehend it.  But, obviously the words made my day to hear such compliments. 

My friend told me that I am a "stellar" player and an "icon" and that the other players welcomed me on the league because they know I play well.  When I was added to the roster, she told me that people asked, "is that THE Melinda Bailey?"  I told my friend I don't even know how people even know me and she kinda laughed at me, in a loving way.

She shared that a lot of people watch my matches to try and learn; they watch my choices on the table carefully.  I have always felt a lot of eyes on me.  It isn't really a comfortable feeling, lol.  It puts pressure on me to play well.  And when I miss or mess up, I get a little self conscious.  But, I also love that the ladies like to learn and so I hope they DO see why I choose the shots I choose to shoot (or NOT shoot).

She also added that I show no fear when I play, and exhibit a lot of confidence.  She said that is helpful for the ladies to witness; and they want to be that type of player.

However, I also have a bulls eye on my head!  *I* am the target.  When the girls on other teams beat me at league or in local tourneys, the claps are louder, lol.  It's like, "Hey, you beat that real good girl!"

I don't mind really, I like team dynamics and team support so I think it's great they all watch each others' matches and show the love.

I also notice tho that people tend to try and impress me, and also apologize to me when they miss.  They want to play well FOR me (as funny as that sounds) and they apologize when they miss or explain why they missed.  I chuckle to myself because I think it's the cutest thing they feel they have to justify what happened, lol.

Another friend told me I give the players on the league something to endeavor for.  They aren't upset I joined the league, instead, I make them WANT to improve because they see how well good players can be.  I guess I give them something to strive for.  Too bad they can't see my fellow players fron the OB Cues Ladies Tour - those women put me to shame, lol!

It is a little discerning when I play people and they play nervous against me.  I'm just another player, feeling the pressure, too.  In all honesty, I have more pressure than them because I'm suppose to win, lol.  But, I keep hearing (or can see) that people are nervous against me.  I would instead want their best game.  But, I also know it takes years and years of playing better players in all types of competition to get over that.

I really love the ladies league and love that they accept me and respect me.  But I admit I don't know how to respond when people tell me I'm a role model.  Someone told me that last night and it made me feel kinda uneasy.  I mean, it's cool and all to be a good player, but it's also weird when people say they are my biggest fan.  I am trying to wrap my mind around that concept - I just see myself as a person who loves pool.  I'm no pro or anything; just an amateur female player that can play well sometimes.  To hear people say they use to follow me and watch me at bigger tournaments is a very unexpected, funky feeling. 

However, I don't mind being a role model.  I LOVE helping people and their games.  And, I have a lot to share (mistakes not to make and nuggets for improvement).  I also like that I've slowed down from drinking.  I think drinking made me look like a fool, not a good pool player or a good person quite frankly.

I'm uncomfortable talking about all this, because I know I sound vain, but I promise I am just as surprised as the rest of everyone to hear these compliments.  But, if I can share that I don't feel accepted (which was VERY difficult for me to admit and share), then I can also step out of my comfort zone and share that some people do accept me because I play good pool and am a good person.

I want to send a special shout out to the Women of Grand Prairie ladies league for welcoming me with open arms!  And to my b/f's team for welcoming me on their team on Mondays.  Thank you for showing the love!  :)

Accolades Go a Long Way

It's amazing to me how much verbal accolades mean to our hearts and mental game.

When I play scotch doubles, my boyfriend says out loud "good shot" when I make a good shot, and do so in return when he makes great shots.

A verbal pat on the back pumps up my confidence.  And let's me know I am shooting well for our 2-person team.

A few months ago, my boyfriend had to work on a day there was a scotch doubles tournament. I called a mutual friend to see if he would like to play with me, so I could try and make some extra cash.  He said yes right away and I felt pretty sporty he said yes automatically, lol.

My b/f said he'd be crazy not to play with me, haha.

The Guy and I ended up winning the tournament, but I didn't feel as "special" as when Brian I win it.

This Guy said only two times at the beginning of the tourney, "good shot."  After that, he never said anything; never complimented me or said one word after awesome shots. And I admit to whoever might be reading this, that I came with some REALLY fantastic shots a few times that deserved recognition (as stupid as that sounds).

I would get all pumped up after some of my pretty phenomenal shots, and yet.... he wouldn't say A WORD to me, or about the shot. 

Other teams were complimenting each other, as they should.  It's a normal thing to do, right?

Well, it actually started to bother me.  I didn't understand why he wouldn't comment anymore. It seemed obvious to me that you compliment each other when you come with a really good shot. I still said "good shot" to him after his good shots, because I was impressed or thankful. But then it became awkward because he had stopped with his verbal accolades.

Now, I'm not saying he should have complimented every single one of my shots, but I do think it's politically correct to commend someone every once in a while when a shot is pretty awesome.  So, when it didn't happen anymore, I was bummed, for lack of a better word.


I really enjoy playing with my b/f, Brian, SO much better. We pump each other up; and that's key to playing doubles well and having good fun while kicking butt!