Learn From Bad Golf Shots

I have seen sometimes (and have experienced this myself in important matches), that when we shoot a really bad shot, it's sometimes tough to recover.

Let's put this in perspective.  If I'm practicing, I don't even reflect on the bad shot/miss and I move on happily hitting more balls.  However, what if you miss a ball so badly and you are on the stream table and also in front of a large crowd and also in the top 4 of a big tournament??

The difference is light years.

But it's how you react and recover that makes you a star and proves you are a seasoned player.

One of the players on the Omega Tour was playing for 4th place I believe and he missed a shot so badly, I turned to a mutual friend and said, "damn, I hope he doesn't get embarrassed over that and recovers quickly.  Or else there could be a domino effect of repercussions if he thinks about that bad miss.  Sometimes it's tough to recover from it."

Our friend had a great opinion/response about it, and I wanted to share what he said.

He replied, "Well, he plays golf.  And he knows that sometimes a wild shot can happen.  He knows it's part of the game and he wont let that one really bad miss get to him."

It was a FANTASTIC point and comparison!

Sure, we can envision golfers throwing their clubs across the green in anger (lol), but we can also envision all those players who shot a golf ball into the crowd or on the cart path who didn't let it deter them and they won the big tournament!

The point is, if you start to feel embarrassed after a really bad shot, recover from it quickly.  Don't let it affect your play from that point on.  We have seen players turn to mush, make further mistakes, your arms feel wobbly from embarrassment, lose confidence, etc.

Instead, remember those crazy golf shots, and all the recoveries the pro's made after their bad shots. It's just part of the game.  :)

Playing on Live Stream - Love it or Hate it

I find it very intriguing when players eagerly announce they will be playing a match soon on a live stream, yet others do not.

I am intrigued because I am one who does NOT want to share that information, so I'm curious why others do.  They seem to welcome the attention; while I shy away from it.

I would hardly ever let others know if I was about to play a match on the stream table.  I think it had a lot to do with confidence, but more so - increased embarrassment if I played bad.  I shied away from letting others know because I was scared of the negative ramifications.

I fully admit that I am not mentally strong.  Why?  Because I sometimes would start to play worse if I began to think about others judging my bad play, which means I wasn't focused on playing my best pool, right?  I do agree at the height of my pool career that I was mentally very tough and could deflect negative thoughts and focus solely on the shots at hand and not get distracted.  That's when I was winning a lot of trophies for those couple of years.  But, I still didn't share with people even then that I was about to play on the stream table.  I will also confide that's hard to be mentally tough every single match, every single tournament; it's truly exhausting.

My point is, during those trophy years (lol) I didn't mind I was on the stream and it didn't bother me, but I still didn't advertise when it was about it occur. But when I wasn't mentally strong or confident in my game, I would be nervous to be on the stream table.

I can tell you it's a pretty awful feeling to play badly on a stream, in front of everyone live on the internet for all to see.  There's not a worse feeling.  And, if you start to play bad and then add to it by thinking about all the people watching you play bad, everything goes downhill.  And it just becomes a car wreck. 

Just last month a friend of mine lost 0-7 in a match that was streamed live.  Her heartbreaking reflection right after was, "How do I recover from that?"

Instead of guessing on this blog post why some people easily announce they are about to play on a live stream, I decided to ask one of my friends about this!  No reason to sit here and try to guess - let's find out for sure!

My dear friend, and fellow player, Tina (Pawloski) Malm, is one who always advertises when she is about to play a match on a live stream.  Every time I would see this I thought, "Wow, look at her.  How is she able to do that so easily?"

And this is what she said during our great convo about the topic:

She said she figured out that her friends WANT to see her play.  Whether she plays good or bad, they still support her and want to see her play pool on a live stream.

She continued, "my friends are my biggest supporters.  And when I didn't tell them I was on a stream, they would ask me about it later and tell me they wished they had known.  I then started to let my friends on Facebook know ahead of time when I would be on a steam table because they like to watch me play."

I asked her, "but.... but... what if you play bad?"  (thinking of how I feel when I play bad in front of people)

She replied, "I just shake it off.  I know I don't play well every time; I know I can't win every time.  And I don't think about what others are thinking of me.  Do I want to win every time?  Of course. But, I know I will have some off days and I also know my friends still care about me, no matter if I play bad or not, win or not. "

Here is what is intriguing to me about her last statement:  She knows her friends still care about her and want to see her play no matter if she wins, losses, plays good, or plays bad.  Why is my mental makeup so different?  If anything, I worry about being embarrassed about playing bad in front of others.  Is it because of all the negative experience of crappy comments I have received in the past after matches?  Is it because I am not mentally strong enough yet every single match?  WHAT?

What I DO know is I love her perspective and welcome the attitude she has about it.  I think we can all learn from her thoughts and I'm very thankful she was happy to chat with me about this.

Here is another interesting thing:  I stated above, "I can tell you it's a pretty awful feeling, though, to play badly on a live stream, in front of everyone live on the internet.  There's not a worse feeling."

Pretty drastic difference comparing my concerns with her lack of worry about playing badly on a live stream.

Intriguing, huh?

She also shared another perspective and example.  She said she has a friend that plays a lot in different tournaments and although she isn't a top shooter, she still enjoys to watch her friend play on the live stream.  As she put it, "What else would I want to be watching on the weekends?  A friend playing pool is perfect."

I love her perspectives and thoughts!

How to Get Rid of Embarassment Feelings

During the Best of the Rest playoffs for my women's league, in the middle of the second day, during a tough, close match, I noticed one of my teammates walked briskly outside after she lost her match.

Being the person that I am, I went outside to talk to her and see how she was doing.

She sat on this cement ledge and was pretty much in tears.

I asked her what was going on and she wasn't sure.  She had just lost another match of the day, though, and was trying to figure out why.  She played timid today and didn't play like her normal self, but she couldn't figure out why.

And she was so upset at herself for losing because we were in a tough, close match now. I tried to explain to her that it is a TEAM event and that I personally had just lost a match, too, and so we had both contributed to the lopsided score.

She was in tears, "but I play better.  And now we are losing...." her voice trailed off and she had to look away from me.  She was sad, upset, and ashamed.  I felt so badly for her to be in such turmoil.

I told her we haven't lost yet!

She was then trying to figure out, while talking out loud with ideas, what the hell was going on with her.  Why was she missing so much.  Why was she not playing like usual.  After brainstorming together, she finally realized that she was embarrassed.  That something had happened earlier in the day and now she was not confident (like she normally is) and she was missing and worried what others were thinking or judging her.

I IMMEDIATELY shared with her what Phil Capelle shared with me when I went through this for a several brutal, tough months many years ago.

I told her the only way to get through this was to keep her mind busy.  You do that by thinking ONLY about your fundamentals, only about the balls on the table, only about what your options are on the table, only about staying down, and the execution of your stroke.  I explained that concentrating on those "items" keeps your mind preoccupied and wont give it enough space/time in your brain to feel embarrassed because it will be busy.

I know - embarrassment is a very negative feeling that can almost paralyze you.  IT SUCKS. lol.

She let the words sink in and then we had to go back inside to play.  Her and I were both up.  We both had to win our matches.  It was GO time. 

I looked over at her table and I saw her playing with more confidence and making more balls!  She wasn't timid anymore, she was in control and confident.  And she played GREAT - like she had the whole year.  After she won, she looked over at me and she was smiling SO big, and then she blew me a kiss with extreme happiness!  I don't think I've ever seen her smile with that much passion and happiness before!  She was ECSTATIC.

I won my game too and since that was the hill-hill game (that she handed to me to win because she won), we were still on the winner's side of the playoffs!.

I joked with her later that I helped her from jumping off the cliff to her demise (since she was sitting on that cement ledge that was 2 whole feet off the ground, lol).  She hugged me tightly and whispered. "thank you so much."

Hope this helps others someday, too!  Enjoy!

Here is another tip about reversing those feelings into positiveness (click here from a past blog entry).