Upset at Captain Decisions

One of my friends recently emailed me and shared how his team placed at a league state tournament.

Long story short, he's mad at his captain! Poor captain, lol.

The captain made a poor choice during a match during their state tournament and my friend believes this cost his team a better chance to finish well in the tournament. Turns out the captain is a good friend of his, so he's struggling quite a bit with being upset with him. What did the captain do that was so bad? Well, he pulled two players from the line up during a crucial match at a crucial time, so two other teammates could get to play.

Here, let me share part of his email so you get a better flavor of the situation:

I felt like he didn't have the leadership to stand firm and not try to appease everyone on playing time. And I just felt like he let us down from his captain duties. It's certainly a far cry from my previous captain who knew more about team dynamics, momentum, and when to pull players or not. I just don't feel like he has that quality, nor does he want to become a stronger captain. Am I overthinking that? Am I being selfish b/c my competitive nature wants our team to do so well given the talent on the team? What do you think?

I haven't emailed him back yet, mostly because I've been too busy and also because he wrote a freaking novel (lol) and I haven't had time to address everything in the email. But, of all the things he said in that long email, this topic is the one that's bothering him the most. So I'm going to respond to his concerns via my blog! hhahaa. Hope he reads this so he can get some closure. (wink)

I can empathize that he's upset about the poor choice his captain made against a tough team.  And yes, good leaders are VERY important; but they aren't the end-all.

So, in my opinion, I think it's unfair for him to be upset at his captain. (1) The captain didn't make poor decisions intentionally to hurt anyone. (2) The captain just doesn't have the experience.  (3) It's not really healthy to compare him to his stellar previous captain. Hey wait, isn't that discriminatory anyway!?  Just kidding, lol. But it is kind of like comparing your new girlfriend with your previous girlfriend. It's not fair to the new girl and causes problems, right?  (4) A team will not win or lose solely because of a captain. (5) And finally, it's team event; everyone is responsible.

His entire team plays REALLY well (yes, even the captain), and it just wasn't their time to win.

I think captains do the best they can with what they know. Although my friend might have had better experience and knowledge with what should have been done, the teammates did leave the decisions to this inexperienced captain. To me, that's just a lesson learned. Further, there's no guarantee that if he hadn't pulled those players during that match, that the team would have finished high.

The other key about this situation is, my friend has many experiences of first and second and third places finishes in state and national tournaments with another team with that stellar captain. So, had my friend not had those experiences, he wouldn't even have known the decisions made by his current captain were costly.  See what I mean?

So to my friend (if he reads this, lol), stop being mad at your friend.  Learn from it! But don't be mad at the guy. It's okay to be disappointed the team didn't finish further, but it's not one person's fault.