Opinions Before or After Matches Should be Off Limits

I don't know why I find it so intriguing and confusing when people make comments that I feel can be detrimental to our games.

I guess I just wonder WHY.

Why say something that can affect someone's play?

I know, I know - some people just don't realize this.

While I stated a few times (either in print or my video blog) that my mental toughness isn't want it used to be, I am still good with not letting some things bother me.  And I was lucky, too, because a couple of things over the weekend at the Oklahoma City tournament could have really derailed me lol.  Although I am distracted with my own thoughts while down on shots, I AM still good at not letting things get to me from others that could potentially be pressure type things.  And thank goodness!

My friend Tina and I went to OKC for this tourney and it was a really cool trip.

Of course several things happened I want to blog about, lol.  Come on - you all knew the blogging was coming!

Here is one:  As I walk to my table for my first match to play a guy named Victor, the Tournament Director for some reason walks right by me and tells me with a soft, cavalier tone, "I told the guys, "Watch this girl from Texas run all over Victor." "

Uh, WHY?!

lol.

WHY say that to me.

Now, I know from experience not to let that bother me or get to me, but come on now, why tell me anything.  And as a Tournament Director, I would expect one would know not to say anything to a player before or after a match.

EVER.

Isn't that obvious? 

Oh, guess not.  lol.

While waiting to play that said match, a friend from the area told me I should do well in the tournament, as they looked around at the competition.  Again - pressure much?  LOL.  But, like I said, that part of my mental toughness is still solid.

But, it does bring up the fact we just shouldn't really say, well, anything.  It's really one of the best things you can do for a player, friend, whatever - shut your mouth, hahaha.  Any type of words that have to do with future thoughts or opinions of them or their opponents should be off limits, lol.

Reminds me of this gem:

(Unwelcomed) negative reinforcement is described well by this AWESOME story by one of my favorite psychology and sports psychology authors, Denis Waitley, in The Psychology of Winning:

The World Series, in the 1950s.  New York Yankees, Milwaukee Braves.  Warren Spahn, the great Milwaukee left-handed pitcher on the mound.  Elston Howard, the great Yankee catcher at the plate.  Score tied.  Two men on, two men out.  Three and two.  A critical part of the series.  And a critical part of the game.  

The manager walks out of the dugout to give Warren Spahn, the great pitcher, some encouraging motivating advice.   “Don’t give him a high outside pitch, he’ll knock it out of the park,” said the manager.  And walked back to the dugout.  

Warren Spahn said to himself, “why did he have to say it to me in that way.”  Let’s see, “don’t give him a high outside pitch.”  “The reverse of that is…” too late.  Like a neon sign, high and outside came as the dominant message.  Out of the park went the ball.  A 3-run homer.  

Because of that one dominant thought Milwaukee almost lost the World Series.  But Eddie Mathews came in with a home run to save the game and the series for the Braves.  Warren Spahn, to this day says, “why would anyone ever try to motivate anyone with the reverse of what they want?”  

That’s like motivating and office staff by saying, “firings will continue until morale improves.”  You know, it just won’t work.  

I know many series for the coaches who unwittingly set up their players for losing performances every day.  Here’s an example and basketball.  “Missing free throws is what loses big games, team,” yells the coach.  “You’re all going to stay late during practice and shoot free throws until you stop missing them so often.”  While the winning coach would take advantage of the positive motivation opportunity by saying, “teams with high free-throw averages win ballgames.”  “I want you to put an extra 15 minutes a day making your free throws in practice, so that when we get them during next week’s game, we’ll make all we can, and will win the game.”  

You see, this is the right way to motivate.