Venting at the Position

A friend of mine got bitched out the other day from a teammate.  The players' feelings were hurt and by the time she let her hurt known, there was raising voices and pointing fingers and expressing pain.

My friend is the Captain of the team.

She was upset about the entire thing (who wouldn't be) and while expressing empathy, I also tried to tell her it comes with the territory.  As Captain, we are in a position to get yelled at and when feelings get hurt, or players are upset, they most of the time take it out on the Captain, the person who is "in charge."

Case in point is being a Tournament Director.  I get yelled out and chewed on a lot.  Players show their frustrations to me and cuss at me (yes) and get mad at their situation while raising their voices at me.  Or sometimes players send me day-long texts about why they are upset with the handicap system or what transpired that day they got upset.

It just happens to be the position we are in.  All Tournament Directors have an unwritten line in their job description that reads, "will be bitched at."  LOL

I get it.  I do.  Players lose, they vent.  Players get hurt, they vent.

Players are competing, it gets emotional, money on the line, rankings, etc.  I understand so completely about losing and venting.

While I admit it's tough to be on the receiving end and handle sometimes, I would rather players vent to me than to all their friends and bad-mouth the tour (or my friends' team as another example).

It's just the position.  And it's part of the "job."  It's not the time to take anything personal, retaliate, argue back, etc.  Sure, it bothers us.  As turmoil or conflict normally does.  But not taking the venting or hurt towards us personal is the true leader in ourselves.