Standing Alone

I have written several times or at least alluded to the fact that I would love for a boyfriend to want to watch me play pool and be supportive.  My girlfriends and I talk about this common wish a lot.

I recall one boyfriend took a nap during a team event in Vegas and missed us WINNING a national championship.  Still a little mortified over that selfishness.

What do we want, you might be asking yourself?  We would like someone to watch us and support us.  A loved one we can look in the crowd at when we make a good out for that look of acceptance or happiness, or when we feel embarrassed, to lock eyes and say it's okay with just the look of your eyes.  Someone who watched a match and you can ask them afterwards, "what could I have done different?"  Someone who would be right there to hug you after you win (or lose).  Someone who feels extremely happy for you when you win a tough match, or has their shoulder ready when we lose a really tough, important battle.

I know - it's all mushy!

I'm not talking about every day matches or every day tournaments, I'm talking at title tournaments.  HUGE tournaments.  Life-changing events you might find yourself in the finals of.  

While I stand envious and jealous of the girls who have their supportive husbands and boyfriends watching their every move on the pool table, I recently realized this:

Almost every big tourney I've won in the last few years was when I was broken up.

 
Isn't that weird?  In the last two years, especially, my boyfriend would break up with me right before a big event and yet I would still do well and even won several very big events (BCA Texas State singles, ACS 9-Ball Singles at Nationals, BCA State Scotch Doubles two years in a row, etc).  My previous ex, he was there when I won ACS State singles, but we were in a fight because I was begging him to watch me play and be supportive.

Turns out what my friends had all been telling me all along - I don't need anyone there to support me to do well.  Sure, I WISH I did - but I didn't - and yet I still prevailed.

Would have been nice to share the moments with a boyfriend and hug him right after a sought-after title, but nope.

But, I was STILL successful!