Myers Briggs

How we interact successfully with others is an every day occurrence and is largely based on our recognition of the different personalities each person has.  How we handle situations at work, and how we deal with our family and friends.  And of course, how to handle different personalities in pool, too.

Every day life.

One of my recent captains was having an issue with a teammate.  She was upset she wasn't playing on a certain night.  The female is about 23 and new to the pool arena, even tho she plays well.  The captain is in his upper 50s and been around pool for ages but not a top shooter (but he thinks he's the snizzle).

They got into it one day about this issue:  Why she got sat out and instead he played, on a certain night.  He told her, "we needed our top shooters that night and you aren't one of them."  (Basically)

Obviously she was super upset.

I expressed nicely to the captain after I heard about it, that he should never have spoke to her that way and said that that way.  He defended himself by sharing, "My Dad told me to always say what's on your mind and be straight forward so there is no confusion."

While I can understand his Dad's words of advice, you still should be sensitive as to HOW you say something and be cognizant of who you are speaking to.

I told the captain he should never say that to a new female player who was already having issues being compared to others.  I told him he *might* get away with telling me something like that.  As I might have been more receptive because I know it's true and because I'm 45 and maybe I can handle that true low blow.  But she's too young, new, and sensitive to be told that in such a blunt way.

He asked me how would I have told her and my response was, not like that.  Sometimes you have to be careful how you word things.  Be nice and not rude, no matter how true or hurtful the info is.

Several on the team were upset how he spoke to her.

Bottom line is, that's HIS personality.   If you know that, you get less upset if he's a tad abrasive or brutally honest.  And if you know her personality, you say things a tad different to not hurt feelings.

For those that think, "just say what you mean, if they get upset it's their problem."  I suggest that people skills can be a gift, and learning about leadership helps understand different personalities and how to get along best with other types of personalities.  I suggest looking up Myers Briggs.  HIGHLY suggest it.  You'll thank me.  :)

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