Different Personalities and Pasts

In relationships, whether with friends, coworkers, or significant others, it's normal for their pasts to "come up" some how in the present.

It's normal.

Not everyone can "forget" how they were as children, how they were treated, how they were raised, etc.

What I have finally realized, and I wish others would to, is that this also occurs in sports.

Really.

Sometimes, some players are very abrasive at the pool table. 

Some players come across as rude.

Some players are kinda mean.

Some players are super shy.

Some players get overly defensive with their words.

But once you get to know these players, you find out they are really, really great people!  They just have certain personalities that competition brings out in them.

One of my friends had a tough childhood and had to take care of herself and her siblings growing up.  So, this makes her a little bit more tougher around the edges.  It comes out when she competes, but when you get to her know her on a personal level, she is extremely caring and a very good friend.  Loving actually.

But people that don't know her, see her as abrasive and rude, as she walks around the table.  They take her comments as inappropriate.  But because I know her, I know she doesn't mean anything by the comments, she's really just "protecting" herself with her words as she competes.

(Like she had to do when she was growing up without parents.)

Some guys are very intimidating and make rude comments.  I bet those guys had a tough childhood, had to defend themselves, and this is now how they react to "confrontation" when competing.

Some players are very passive and shy, and that may seem like weakness, but maybe they were raised in a household where you don't ever raise your voice or show emotion?

I know a few players that are VERY intimidating.  It dawned on me the other day that in reality, they are BULLIES!  Really, they are!  But, if I realize that, maybe I will also realize they are bullies for a reason.  Maybe they've been this way their whole life?  Maybe they were like this in school?  I'm not saying it's right, but it will help me understand them better.  And maybe not be so afraid of them, lol.

I'm not being clear I don't think, but my main point is I think it's unfortunate we judge people based on how they act when they compete.  Or how they react when they lose (or win).  Just like leadership can be taught, losing and winning graciously takes time to learn (if you want to be gracious).

Some players don't care about politeness or gracious - maybe because they had a tough childhood?

The point is - everyone has a story.  Everyone competes in their own way.  Everyone has their own personality.  Everyone shows anger or happiness different.

So, no judgements.  Just acceptance and understanding!