Captain Woes

I pride myself on being a good captain.  I mostly want to provide a positive atmosphere for my teammates, and I try to make the best decisions possible.

However, I have written that my soft heart has been in the way of making the BEST decisions (usually when to pull someone).

But although I normally write about all good things, let's be real - every day is not a good pool day.  And I have to honest and share those times as well, as much as it pains me to state this.  But this is my journey with pool, and this is part of my journey

After our HUGE win in July when our team WON the BCAPL Women's Open Event, we were all ecstatic and very pleased with having the privileged to say, "We are National Champs!"

However, after the tournament, weeks after, I somehow mentioned one night to one of the teammates that we all played badly.

I meant what I said, but I didn't realize how I worded that, nor the ramifications of what I said.

Why would I say that you ask?  I don't even remember the context, but I heard many months later from a friend that what I said hurt that teammate.

And she's right.

And I was wrong.

We won a National title!!!  I should never have said that.  And I obviously didn't get to explain what I meant, which hurts them even more I'm sure because they don't understand what I meant (and I was wrong for stating it that way).

I pride myself of providing a positive atmosphere for my teammates, whether captain or not.  And I have actually almost quit teams because of the negativity.

So, my words hurt my teammate, and.... it hurt me, also.  :(

I'm disappointed in myself for saying that - I didn't think before I spoke.  And that's not like me.

I meant that we didn't play like we can play; that we all struggled a little.  But we still played great to win and that's what was important!  Further, if we played bad and still won, it shows just how good we really are!

I apologize for my poor choice of words several months ago.  I should never have said that, and instead focused on the fact we won a freaking National title!