But.....
Instead of yearning for certain people to watch me, because I want them to show they care and are interested in me and my pool matches, I have finally figured out that I can be the most important person in the room to MYSELF.
What a light bulb moment.
MY match is still important whether certain people are watching me or not.
Wait; I am still important.
To me, caring about how I'm doing in my matches signifies that the other person cares about me personally; and I need stop that.
Seriously.
People say when I enter a pool room, everyone notices because I'm akaTrigger. Sounds silly typing that out. While I don't really understand that, however maybe if I absorb it, I will no longer feel the need to want certain people to watch me play in my matches.
I'm already important.
I don't need someone else there to care. I need to care most, right?
Gosh, sounds SO easy.
But it's not.
I admit it; I like my significant others to watch me play pool.
But, pool is so very important to me and I'm lucky to even be able to play this game we all love. I don't need affirmation of them watching my match that it (or I) am important. If they are busy, I can easily compete without them around.
It's when they aren't busy, I want to come first and feel important.
But I need to remember, I'm already important to myself!
I really don't truly NEED anyone. Sure, it's nice. But I need to stop getting upset about and/or searching the room for them to see how I'm doing.
The most important to you is your game. Go with your natural game and stop worrying what others care.
ReplyDeleteI haven't played tournament pool in many years. But, when I did,my girlfriend/wife wasn't into pool and didn't want to watch me play. I never had a problem with that. I played for myself and no one else. It was nice if she or my friends were there, but I never felt neglected or abandoned if she wasn't. I was doing the thing I enjoyed the most in my life. Nothing else really mattered.
ReplyDeleteI am trying to feel that way. If they weren't AT the events, I wouldn't even think about them not watching me, but if they are in the same room, I almost think it's common courtesy. In Vegas right before my women's team played in the finals, my b/f left to take a nap. I played for the girls, but after, I was upset he missed us winning a National title last weekend.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comments - I really need help in this area.