Reflections of What Should Be

Many years ago I was playing WPBA Pro Belinda Campos Calhoun in a newly formed women's tour in Texas (it only lasted a couple of years). 

It was a fabulous match and I was holding my own.  At 8-7 her (she was on the hill), she landed right on top of the 9 ball after she made the 8ball.  The cue ball and 9ball are less than an inch apart. She sends the cue around the table to leave distance between the two balls.  But, as the cueball comes around, it hits the 9ball and KICKs it in!

I was like, what the hell?  I was so deflated - I was THIS close to going hill-hill with her!  Belinda turned to me and was disgusted with herself that it ended that way.

She covered her face and apologized to me.  But then she added something that I will never forget.  She said, "Well, I was suppose to win anyway, really, if I hadn't got bad on that 9ball in the first place."

While this may seem rude, I didn't take it that way at all.  It was almost like she was trying to shake off the slop, and comfort and justify the roll. 

I'm not sure if she said it to comfort herself, or to help me, but..... it turned out to be a very helpful phrase for me that I use to this day in certain situations.

Sometimes after I miss a ball late in a rack, and then my opponent doesn't capitalize, and then I win,  I tell myself that phrase.  It helps me for several reasons.

One, it helps me from beating myself up; I don't like to miss.

Further, instead of feeling bad for winning because they missed, or feeling bad because i missed, I realize that in reality, I should have won that game anyway.

I'm not explaining myself well, but it helps me accept *how* I might win some games.  I should have won anyway!

I hope this helps a little, for those of us who sometimes feel bad for our opponents missing, or for those of us who get onto ourselves for missing (but are given another opportunity at the table).