HandSkake #2

I received quite a few comments to my previous post, Handshake.

Many were also upset at the lack of respect a non-handshake represents from Poor Sports.

Then PoolMinnow comes along and brings out an important point.  I LOVE different perspectives!

Here is what PM said:

I have a slightly different point of view. If my opponent, in the moment of losing doesn't feel like shaking hands that's fine by me. As the person who came out the winner I try to have compassion for the other person who may have given it their all, may be very tired, hungry, etc. I won, and if they played in a gracious, fair manner during the match, that's how i judge their sportsmanship.

I think its almost more important to be a "good winner" and for me that means giving space to the loser, because its a much harder position to be in.

I've heard plenty of people go off complaining that their opponent didn't shake hands afterwards, or that they shook hands, but didn't look them in the eye, or their handshake was flabby. (Where do you draw the line). I just cringe, because that kind of complaining, to me, is poor sportsmanship at its worst.

If shaking hands when you lose is important to you, its a nice gesture. And I think, as the loser, it does something for YOU, more than the opponent. Some people are excellent and gracious losers and they should be commended. But, to me, its a slippery slope, as the winner to judge someone who doesn't.

PoolMinnow (PM) does indeed make some very good points.  Just last weekend someone told me that after our match at the Texas Open they didn't hug me, they let ME lead the "ending" of the match.  I shook her hand and briskly walked away because I was so defeated with my play.  She said she would normally hug me, but knew I had a tough match and just let me be.

She even shared that she dislikes hugs from friends if she herself has had a bad match, so to reiterate:  she took my cue and just shook hands.

I agree with PM that sometimes the bigger person is the winner who doesn't get upset at the Poor Sport (PS) who wont shake hands.  However, I wasn't talking about the every-once-in-a-while PS's.  I was more so talking about the PS's who make it a habit of being rude to their fellow players.  And yes, I was also talking about the pro's who are a representative of the sport.

I agree wholeheartedly that the winner's can be a GREAT representation of the sport, also, by how we react to the non-hand-shake(s).  And that is a true character and reflection of ourselves in the heat of the battle.

I can so relate to the numerous times an opponent has played so badly they walk off in shame or walk off without shaking hands because they are so embarrassed.  I was not talking about them, though.  I was talking about the recurring Poor Sports.  The guys who are regularly two-faced when it comes to treating you with respect --> i.e, only treating you with respect if THEY win.

I love PM's comments.  I do so agree that our reaction to the PS is ALSO a reflection of the sport!  Thank you so much for your point of you, PM!  It was a great reminder because I did indeed forget about this important part of non-handshaking while I went on my diatribe. lol.

And I also agree with the comment from one of my friends who said, "I remember every non shake I've ever been the recipient of...every time!"