Clutch

Last year at the Texas BCAPL State 8 Ball tourney, I had a chance to play a tie breaker match and immediately turned down the invitation because I had just lost a brutal game.  Teammate Ashley played it instead and ran out!

This year, 2011, Ashley was not able to join us because she moved out of state from us all (cry, cry, tears, frownie faces) and I joked with my teammates, "Who's gonna play the tie breaker game if we need it since Ashley isn't here?"

We all laughed, but it was a serious question.  Eeeek!

Last year, I played a match that would result in either us squeaking by 9-7 or head us to a tie breaker game.  I played that decision game and lost, so a tie breaker was needed (the one Ashley ran out for us).  I wouldn't play the tie breaker game because I had just come off a severely high-pressure, embarrassing match.  It was a lot of invisible pressure I put on myself and I was literally shaking from nerves because so many people were watching and it was a very important game.  Instead of being confident, I was scared and stressed.  It didn't help that I missed the 8ball so badly, I went into serious embarrassment mode.  I felt humiliation I missed the case shot, discouraged because I let my teammates down, and the anxiety was full force in my mind and veins.

So, when I was asked right after I lost that match if I wanted to play, I immediately stated, "No Way.  I'm too embarrassed now!"  I was so disappointed I let the team down.  :(

Move forward a year.  Ashley isn't there.  We might reach our first tie breaker moment during the women's team event on the second day, while we are on the one-loss side.

My boyfriend says to me, "You know if this goes hill-hill, they may ask you to play."

I reply, "yea, they might."

It was a huge confidence booster that he said that to me.  :)

I very vividly recall the match I lost so badly due to stress and anxiety the year before.  I can feel even the emotions as I type this just how painfully embarrassed I felt to lose that match like that.

So how would I feel if the tie breaker game was needed and they asked me to play?  Would I crater like last year or would I play confident?

The other issue was, we all knew which girl the other team would put in for their tie breaker match.  She's the best player on their team.  And, she's intimidating as hell.

I wrote about her last year.  Tough opponent.  Dominating. Intimidating.  Talks back.  Talks crap.  She's actually the type of player that I swear, if women had balls, she would grab them while we played to inflict more pain.  She has pure drive and her intimidation is full force in her style, stature, words, and she acts aggressive.

How does she play?  She plays good.  She makes a few mistakes that I wish she would work on, but otherwise in order to beat her, it's normally because you have to outplay her or let her make a mistake first.

No matter how much I don't like to play her because she can get on my nerves with her careless words and her mean demeanor, when my teammates asked if I wanted to play against her in the tie breaker match, I didn't turn this opportunity down and was proud to represent the team in the clutch game.

I was ready.

I honestly felt *I* was the player on our team who would intimidate HER the most. 

I felt confident.  In my game, in this position.  I wasn't nervous.  I was ready and confident.

Long story short, after her failed runout, I safety played her in numerous innings til I saw a run out.  She tried to safety me back, but I am better at it.  I finally saw an out, with my first shot being a short rail bank and nailed it.  I then pocketed my last three solids and looked forward to the long rail bank on the eight ball (because her stripe blocked my pocket).  But I dogged it!  Ugh.  But - I still was very happy with my run and smart play!  I played my best and was still confident and not upset.

She went for the run to win but scratched!  I got ball in hand as she said to me WHILE I was down on the shot, "Do you think you can handle that?"

Beotch.

So, even though we won because she scratched, I honestly feel where I left the cueball after I banked my 8ball helped her scratch.  I feel my shot selection led to it.  I really do.

I am glad I played that nervous game last year full of anxiety and stress.  Because it allowed me to NOT let that happen in this clutch game.  :)

BTW, our team finished in third place!!

Connie, Monica, Jennifer and I.  Team "No Holes Barred"!